How to Keep Love Alive in Marriage: 21 Effective Ways

Marriage is a beautiful journey that evolves over time, requiring constant care and effort to maintain the flame of love. In the whirlwind of life’s demands, it’s easy to overlook the importance of nurturing the romantic bond between partners. 

So, learning how to keep the love alive in marriage can become crucial. With conscious intention and commitment, couples can cultivate a love that thrives and deepens with each passing day. 

This article explores practical and heartfelt ways to keep love alive in a marriage. From fostering open communication to nurturing shared experiences and prioritizing quality time together, these strategies offer a roadmap to help couples build a resilient and enduring love that withstands the tests of time.

Can a marriage survive on love?

Yes, a marriage can survive and thrive on love. Love is often considered one of the fundamental pillars of a successful and fulfilling marriage. When a couple truly loves each other, the foundation of their relationship becomes stronger. 

Love provides emotional support, fosters intimacy, and helps couples navigate the challenges that come their way. However, it’s important to note that love alone may not be sufficient to sustain a marriage in the long term. 

Successful marriages require commitment, communication, trust, respect, and shared values, among other factors. Love is a vital component, but it needs to be accompanied by mutual understanding, compromise, and a willingness to work through difficulties together.

Additionally, it’s essential to recognize that love can evolve and change over time. The initial intense feelings of romantic love may transition into a deeper, more mature love that encompasses companionship, friendship, and a sense of partnership. 

Nurturing and cultivating love throughout the course of a marriage is crucial to its longevity and overall happiness.

Overall, while love is an essential ingredient, a strong and lasting marriage requires a combination of love and other key elements that contribute to a healthy and thriving relationship.

According to Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, a licensed clinical social worker:

When it comes to lasting marriages, love is a verb, meaning it requires intentional action.

21 ways to keep your love alive in marriage

So, how to keep your love alive? Here are some ideas on keeping your marriage strong and keeping your love alive at heart:

1. Stay curious about your partner

For keeping the love alive, constant communication is essential. It is not the everyday communication you exchange but more about getting to know your spouse better by being curious. 

For example, when you were still dating, you asked questions like their favorite food. This time, know why they love the food and if a fond memory is tied to the food.

2. Be fully present

This may not look very clear, but it is not. It means being fully attentive to your partner. Be an active listener rather than a passive or distracted listener. 

When your partner wants to talk, turn off the TV, put down your smartphone or tablet, and focus on the conversation. To keep your love on, listen to what your partner is saying, how they are saying it, and why. Hold your urge to come up with a solution or make an instant judgment.

3. Do not forget your manners

One of the solutions to how to keep love alive in marriage is by showing appreciation.

Saying thank you is a small courtesy that many people forget when with someone for so long. Keeping your manners and saying thank you, sorry, and please always make the other person feel appreciated and respected. 

So, how do you keep a marriage alive? Expressing gratitude helps strengthen relationships by reigniting the love between you two.

4. Pursue your personal interests and hobbies

Keeping love alive in a relationship also means not losing your individuality.

So, how to keep your marriage alive?

Go after the things that you are interested in, even if you want to join your partner. It’s a good way for the two of you to talk about something new, which can add more energy to your relationship. 

Couples with different interests may soon find that they have shared interests they did not know before.

Jennifer Schulz, LCSW, further shares:

Being able to retain your individuality while in a marriage is a sign of healthy intimacy, so taking time for your own interests is a good idea.

5. Have date nights

It is vital to remember that the courtship is not over once you’re married. To keep your love alive, you should have a date night and see that you make it a priority. 

If you have children, establish early on that their parents have a date night, and they will keep it. You should let your children know that you can have dates with the family, but mom and dad should have their own. 

6. Be fair

Make sure that you treat each other fairly. Many couples complain that their partner is not fair. Most of them complain about one-way selfishness, unfulfilled agreements, broken promises, guilt manipulations, and double standards. 

Couples need to discuss their differences and determine what constitutes “being unfair” to the other person. Then, there should be a compromise, and they should agree to be more tolerant and open to one another.

7. Respect each other’s vulnerability

As your relationship grows, you are bound to know more about each other. If the line of communication is open, each one can have access to the partner’s emotional nakedness. 

These are the things you share privately– your vulnerable feelings, thoughts, and experiences. These disclosures, confessions, and admissions are often shared when you are already very comfortable with each other.

However, these vulnerabilities should not be used as weapons when there is conflict. Instead, to keep your love alive, honor and treasure these things, and do not use them to hurt the other person. 

Furthermore, work toward healing one another and take responsibility for these shared disclosures.  

8. Share the responsibilities

When a couple has minor children, the mother often takes care of a sick child. The mother can spend sleepless nights until the child gets better. That takes a toll on the mother, and she can feel exhausted. 

However, more parents today share the responsibility of taking care of their children. It is better to discuss and divide the parenting responsibilities, but they must be flexible. 

To keep your love alive, the couple should be confident and trust that they will be there for them when times are difficult.

9. Respect each other’s beliefs

Even if you are very compatible, partners often do not share opinions, desires, and beliefs. However, when you respect each other, you will have a quality relationship. You do not have to agree on everything, but it is better to allow each other to have their thoughts and beliefs. 

As long as you are willing to listen, understand, and accept your differences, your relationship will be better. Making room for each other’s feelings and thoughts will make you grow and be more flexible.

10. Be resilient

There will be times in your relationship when you will have disagreements, little spats, and differences of opinion. Instead of allowing these minor conflicts to escalate, you should learn to compromise. 

It is better to be resilient by focusing on how quickly you can resolve the dispute and recover from it. Understand that your relationship will be stronger if you know that reconnecting with your partner after any disagreement is the essence of being in love.

11. Be a team

Trust and loyalty are essential not only for self-development but also to keep your love alive in the relationship. It is necessary to encourage one another and be united in working towards a quality relationship. 

You should agree on moral and ethical behaviors and trust that the other person will maintain these behaviors even if they are not together. It is part of being committed to the relationship.

12. Learn to prioritize

You are bound to encounter a million distractions every day at home or work. Deadlines at work are moved up, your child needs to finish a school project, or you have to prepare for a presentation. Your immediate thought would be which one you should do first. Sitting down and thinking about the tasks with a clearer mind, you’ll better understand which one needs immediate attention.

But to make a marriage work, you and your spouse should prioritize each other. Each day, take some time to check in and give your spouse your full attention. Even if the attention is only for a few minutes, it assures your partner that you think of them.

13. Give your spouse a surprise

It’s a wonderful feeling when you receive a gift for no special reason. You can keep your love alive by surprising your spouse with a gift. 

It does not have to be an expensive item. It can be a simple thing, a book, a pen, a diary, a flower, a favorite drink or dessert, or things that have a special meaning to your spouse or you both. 

How about serving breakfast in bed? Maybe you can go on a surprise date or buy tickets to a concert you both want to see.

14. Laugh together

You might think that this is silly, but it’s something that many couples forget, especially when they are constantly busy. You’ve heard that laughter is the best medicine, and this is important for your relationship, too. 

While you may laugh together while watching a comedy show or a funny movie, it is much better if you can find humor in everyday life.

15. Show affection

Sex and intimacy are essential in any marriage, but moments of affection are equally important. Dancing, kissing each other, gentle touches, and holding hands are small efforts, but they contribute to building a solid foundation for the relationship.

16. Revisit the beginning of your relationship

How to keep the love alive in your marriage? Channel the romantic nostalgia!

Sometimes the romantic things you did early in your relationship are forgotten. However, reliving those moments is essential. Spend time looking at your old photos, visiting old date spots, or even tell your children how you met and what made you attracted to your spouse. 

Remembering the things that connected you at the start can strengthen your relationship.

17. Do something together

There are so many things that you can do together to learn how to keep love alive in marriage. 

For example, you can try shopping together and trying a new recipe, building something from scrap materials, repainting a room, or creating a painting together. Who knows, maybe your creations will be the start of something financially rewarding for the two of you.

18. Show your gratitude

The couple must appreciate each other for what they do and who they are. Express your gratitude by telling your partner how thankful you are for nurturing and supporting you, how much they contribute to your life each day, and how they make you feel. 

19. Listen actively 

Give your spouse your full attention when they speak, and genuinely listen to what they have to say. This will give you a chance to understand them and what they are going through. 

Active listening can also help your partner feel heard and understood. It will remind them that they are a priority for you and that what they say matters to you. 

20. Make intimacy a priority

Wondering how to maintain love in marriage?

Intimacy, both emotional and physical, is usually a big part of any healthy relationship. So, keep the spark alive by maintaining a healthy and fulfilling intimate life through subtle touches and using your partner’s reaction as your guide for what they like. 

Watch this video to learn how to create conscious intimacy in your relationship:

21. Plan a romantic getaway

Sometimes, the boredom and routine of daily life can lead to complacency that damages the love that a couple has for each other. So, try to plan a vacation with each other so that you can get a chance to reconnect with each other away from the hustle and bustle of your demanding life. 

Some commonly asked questions 

If you are trying to learn how to keep the love alive in marriage, then the answers to these below-listed questions might help clear some of your doubts:

• How do couples keep the romance alive in their relationship?

Couples can keep the romance alive in their relationship by continuing to grow and learn together. This can help them grow together and not grow apart. 

Making conscious efforts to work on making the relationship better and always checking in with your partner can enhance the love between the two of you. You can also consider marriage counseling as a way to keep the love alive in your relationship. 

• Can true love happen after marriage?

Yes, true love can certainly happen after marriage. While some couples may experience a strong sense of love and connection from the beginning of their relationship, for others, love may deepen and evolve over time. 

Marriage can provide an opportunity for couples to grow and develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other. Through shared experiences, challenges, and the commitment to work on the relationship, couples can foster a profound and lasting love that may not have been apparent in the early stages. 

True love is not solely dependent on the timing of when a couple gets together but rather on the depth of their emotional connection, mutual respect, and ongoing effort to nurture their relationship.

Final thoughts 

To keep your love alive, one thing you can do is reciprocate what your partner does for you every day instead of only during the time they need you.

Keeping the love alive and maintaining a great marriage needs dedication, work, and creativity. You and your partner should be one in this.