18 Tips to Stay Strong During No Contact and Cultivate Self-Care
There may be times when you feel like your relationship needs a break. This could cause you to want to take a no contact break, which means you should not contact your ex for a set number of days in order to decide if you want to continue the relationship.
Here’s a look at what to do and how to stay strong during no contact.
What is the no contact rule?
Generally speaking, the no contact rule calls for you to close off contact with an ex for a period of time, which should allow you time to determine if your relationship is still working and what you want to do about it.
Knowing when to try no contact may be challenging, but it might be necessary when you feel like your relationship is one-sided or you think you need a break.
You can specify how many days you would like to go no contact, and after that time, you might be able to determine what you want to do next.
Does no contact work?
In many cases, no contact does work. For some couples, it allows them to get the break they need and come together to discuss their problems and move forward with the relationship.
In other instances, you may discover that the relationship is not what you want and decide to move on to the next chapter of your life. Certain individuals may wonder why no contact is so hard, which is a valid question.
It may be difficult not to talk to your partner, even if you are upset with them, but spending time apart and not talking can be an effective tool to help you stay focused on your goals and decide what’s right for you.
How to stick to no contact
The male or female mind during no contact may be puzzled when it comes to how to get through no contact. This is understandable, considering it consists of avoiding contact with the person you spend the most time with.
However, the best ways to avoid contacting your ex are keeping busy and staying off social media. If you follow this, you might be able to learn how to stay no contact.
18 tips for how to stay strong during no contact
Even when you know that you want a no contact separation from your partner, you may be at a loss when it comes to how to stay strong during no contact. Here are 18 tips that you can try to make the process easier for you.
1. Stay busy
You are likely wondering, “What to do during no contact?” It doesn’t really matter what you spend your time doing, but it helps if you are able to stay busy.
Consider doing things you weren’t able to do when you were with your partner or doing your best to figure out what you like to do and engage in that type of activity.
2. Take a social media break
Something else that may be necessary when you are struggling with no contact is taking a break from social media. Not only can taking a break from social media help your mental health, but it can ensure that you don’t see posts by your ex or his friends.
It will also make it more difficult for you to message your ex and for them to message you.
3. Spend time with loved ones
You may be able to get no contact encouragement if you spend time with loved ones and people who care about you.
Not only can they distract you from what is going on, but they may also be able to provide you with helpful relationship advice or their point of view on the matter.
Related Reading: 5 Benefits of Spending Time With Family
4. Stay strong
Another way related to how to stay strong during no contact with a narcissist is to try your best not to falter. In other words, keep in mind what you want to accomplish and stick with it.
Remember the reasons why you wanted to take a break from your relationship in your mind. If you weren’t being treated fairly or putting so much into it that you were exhausted, consider what you would like to see change before getting back together with your ex.
5. Start a new hobby
You may also want to start a new hobby to stay busy during no contact. Think about watching online videos to learn more about your hobby, investing in supplies, and seeing what you can accomplish.
It can get you through your days and maybe a handy way to stay strong when there is no contact.
6. Remember your goal
Anytime you are losing your no contact motivation, it may be necessary to remind yourself that you are trying to meet a goal. You may be trying to figure out if your relationship is worth saving, or you might be doing your best to improve your overall health.
No matter what you want to achieve, you should consider setting a goal and doing your best to meet it. This can help you in a number of ways, including helping you stay focused.
7. Believe it will work
When you are able to believe that your no contact will work, this may also go a long way toward meeting your goal. Staying positive may not be easy, but this is another aspect of your life that you can talk to loved ones about.
When you are feeling discouraged, you may be able to call your best friend or mom, who will be able to help you keep things in perspective.
8. Pay attention to your needs
Taking care of your own needs may be another way for you to find no contact help. Pamper yourself a little bit, take mental health days, and eat your favorite foods.
Don’t neglect what you want to do around your house or with your friends. Do all the things you like to do but haven’t been able to do for a while. This can help improve your mood.
9. Learn to relax
When engaging in activities to help you meet your needs, it may also be helpful to learn how to relax. You might want to meditate, take long baths, or learn about aromatherapy.
There are plenty of articles online or books to read on these subjects if you don’t know where to begin.
10. Take care of your health
It is also imperative that you take care of your health during the no contact process. This is especially important when you want to know how to stay strong during a breakup.
You must ensure that you eat healthy meals, get enough sleep at night, and exercise. Exercise can help you stay healthy and release endorphins, which might allow you to feel better and maintain your mood.
11. Visit with a therapist
Working with a therapist is also a valuable way to consider how to stay strong during no contact. They can even help you learn about no contact rule female and male psychology.
A therapist should be able to talk to you about the concerns you have for your relationship and help you decide if you want to work it out with your ex or if other options may be more beneficial for your overall health.
12. Take it day to day
It can be overwhelming to not talk to someone for 60 days or more, so it may be helpful to take it day to day. You can congratulate yourself once you get through another day without calling or messaging your ex.
You have likely accomplished something that will help you make decisions that are good for you and your future.
13. Ignore messages your ex sends
In some situations, your ex may send messages to try to get you to talk to them, which may lead you to struggle with no contact with a narcissist.
It is vital that you ignore these messages and don’t engage with them. This is especially important if you laid out the rules ahead of time. They should respect you enough to go along with your wishes; if they don’t, you don’t have to change your actions.
14. Think about your relationship
You can take the time away from your relationship to think about it. You may have been in an unhealthy relationship, and it could take time to process how you were being treated.
When you take the opportunity to work through things that have happened in the past, it may help you take up for yourself in the future.
15. Work on yourself
If you have ever wanted to learn something new or take a class on a specific subject, this may be the time to do so. You should be doing things that make you happy since you have time to do exactly what you want to do.
It may be helpful when it comes to learning about how to maintain no contact. If you are busy learning about wine or cooking, you probably won’t have time to look at your ex’s social media pages.
16. Don’t give up
Hang in there. It can be hard not to text or DM your partner, but you are trying to improve your life and relationship. This is why you should stay silent, even if your ex is trying to goad you into talking to them.
Consider what their motivation may be and if they have changed or learned anything from your break. They may have, but they may just be trying to get you back under their terms.
17. Keep your mind busy
Thinking about your ex may be something that causes you to want to message them as well. This is why it is crucial to keep your mind busy.
You may want to catch up on your streaming, watch all your favorite movies, or read more books. This will help keep your brain working and prevent you from wondering what your ex is doing.
18. Understand it will be difficult
No matter what time you take advantage of the no contact rule, it can be difficult. However, you need to do your best when it comes to staying strong after a breakup.
You owe it to yourself to make beneficial decisions for your life, and if you wanted a break, there was likely a reason for this. Remember that it will be hard during the process and may become a bit easier with time.
Why is no contact effective?
No contact can be effective when you are able to stick to it. This is because it could signal to your ex that you are not going to let them dictate all the rules of the relationship.
They may understand that they must change their actions if they want you back. Although it can be challenging to understand how to stay strong during no contact, you must remember that it will likely be worth it, and you may be able to work things out with your partner.
Watch this video where Coach Lee Wilson, a world-renowned relationship expert, explains the reasons why no contact always works:
Will the no contact rule change my ex’s behavior?
There is no guarantee that the no contact rule will change your ex’s behavior, but it might if they want you back.
Once you have utilized the no contact rule, you should sit down with your ex and lay down your rules and expectations for the relationship moving forward and allow them to do the same.
You may want to move on from this relationship if they are not okay with these rules.
FAQs
Handling the complexities of the no contact rule can be challenging. This section answers some frequently asked questions and offers insights to help you effectively understand when and how to use this strategy for personal growth and healing.
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Is no contact always necessary? When is it not recommended?
No contact is not always necessary. It’s not recommended if mutual closure is needed, if there are shared responsibilities (like parenting), or if both parties are amicable and healing without it.
It’s best used when distance is needed to gain perspective or if the relationship is particularly toxic or unbalanced.
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How long should no contact last?
No contact duration varies, but it commonly lasts 30 to 60 days. This period allows enough time for emotional healing and personal reflection.
However, the exact duration depends on the relationship’s complexity and the individual’s need for space. The key is to use this time effectively for personal growth and clarity.
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Is it okay to break no contact for emergencies?
Yes, breaking no contact for genuine emergencies is okay. Emergencies require immediate attention and communication, regardless of personal boundaries set by no contact.
However, ensure the emergency is genuine and not an excuse to re-establish routine communication. The integrity of no contact should be maintained for non-urgent matters.
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Can I stay friends with my ex after no contact?
Staying friends with an ex after no contact is possible, but it depends on mutual feelings and the nature of the breakup.
A platonic friendship can be considered if both parties have moved on and healed and have no residual romantic feelings. Clear boundaries and open communication are essential in such a transition.
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Will my ex want me back if I follow the no contact rule?
No contact doesn’t guarantee that an ex will want you back. It’s a period for personal growth and reflection, not a strategy to reignite a relationship.
While absence might make the heart grow fonder, it’s also possible that both parties may realize the relationship isn’t right for them and decide to move on.
To sum up
The no contact rule is a strategic break from communication with an ex-partner to gain clarity and perspective on the relationship. This period, typically set for a specified number of days, serves as a time for personal reflection, allowing individuals to assess their needs, desires, and the relationship’s overall health.
Staying strong during no contact is a challenging yet effective approach, often leading to personal growth, improved mental health, and a clearer understanding of what one truly wants.
Whether it results in rekindling the relationship with a renewed sense of commitment or moving forward independently, the no contact rule is a powerful tool for navigating the complexities of romantic relationships.
Ultimately, it underscores the importance of prioritizing one’s emotional well-being and making informed decisions about the future of personal relationships.
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