How to Be Yourself in a Relationship: 10 Helpful Tips

When you are in a healthy and happy relationship, you can retain your identity while still doing things that will make your partner happy. Some people lose themselves when they fall in love and enter a relationship. Hence, when their partner is unavailable, they might not be effective in their lives. 

Here are some insightful tips in this article for you on how to be yourself in a relationship

What does it mean to be yourself in a relationship?

When it comes to what it means to stay true to yourself, it could mean owning up to your identity without pretending to be what you’re not. It also suggests being open about your values, thoughts, and opinions.

To understand how self-esteem affects relationships, check out this study by Ruth Yasemin Erol and Ulrich Orth. 

How to stay true to yourself in a relationship

If you want to understand how to be yourself in a relationship, prioritize spending time with your loved ones. You can also engage in some activities that don’t involve your partner. Be sure to speak honestly and politely during serious deliberations about an issue.

10 tips to be yourself in a relationship

It is fine to be in love with someone you can call your own. However, one of the mistakes some people make is forgetting their identity in a relationship. Hence, anytime their partner is not available, it feels like they are stuck. Here are some important tips on how to be yourself in a relationship.

1. Hang out with your friends

While you’re in a relationship, remember that your friends are still an integral part of your life. You should create time to bond with your friends and be open to meeting new people. Remember to set some boundaries when doing this because you’re in a relationship.

2. Engage in your hobbies

Doing your hobbies is another way on how to be yourself in a relationship. Even though you and your partner may share the same interests, ensure you have time to engage in yours. If you want to stay true to yourself, don’t put your hobbies away because they form your identity.

Related Reading: How to Make Time for Your Personal Hobbies When Married

3. Set healthy boundaries

To learn how to be yourself in a relationship, you need to create boundaries. You might be able to compromise sometimes, but it is okay to let your partner know that they have limits. Discuss what is acceptable and the things that are not welcome.

In Chany G Rosengarten’s book, The Boundary is You, you will learn how to create boundaries in your relationship by loving yourself more. 

4. Be honest with yourself and your partner

It is important not to pretend with your partner because it helps with being yourself in a relationship. If you are not ready for something, let your partner know instead of agreeing to do it with them.

5. Don’t be afraid to say no

Many people find it hard to say no, even in relationships, because they feel their partner would be unhappy with them. While this may be true, saying no is one of the ways on how to be yourself in a relationship. And it lets your partner know that you have your beliefs, values, and preferences.

6. Have time for yourself

You may want to spend every minute with your partner, but it can get unhealthy sometimes. Creating time for yourself helps you learn how to be yourself in a relationship. It would help if you had time to reflect on your life, make new plans, etc. Doing this allows you to remain true to yourself.

7. Be conscious about personal development

When it comes to how to be yourself in a relationship, you need to prioritize your personal development. Ensure that you don’t remain stagnant in different aspects of your life.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Focus on Yourself in a Relationship

8. Don’t depend on your partner for everything

Even though partners might do things for each other, being true to yourself in a relationship may require sorting out things yourself. If your partner decides to help without being invited, you can consider giving them a chance.

9. Don’t let your insecurities weigh you down

If you had insecurities before meeting your partner, and you let them burden you, then you’re not being true to yourself. Remember that everyone has flaws and insecurities that they are dealing with.

Watch this video to learn more about the root cause of insecurities and how to fight them:

10. Be ready to grow with your partner

Regarding how to be yourself in a relationship, you and your partner should be ready to grow together. It should not be a one-sided affair where one person is progressing, and the other is just an onlooker.

Experiencing growth with your partner is beautiful, and this is what Nickola Overall and other authors revealed in their study. The research is titled Helping Each Other Grow. It contains tips on providing romantic partner support and self-improvement to improve relationship quality. 

Some commonly asked questions

Here are the answers to a few pressing questions that can help clear out your doubts related to being yourself in a relationship:

• Is it good to be yourself in a relationship?

Yes, it is good to be yourself in a relationship. When you stay true to yourself, you will be happier and find it easier to enjoy life by yourself and with your partner. Trying to be someone else can backfire as your partner would not know who you are and what you truly want. 

• Is it healthy to put your partner before yourself?

Like with everything else in life, balance is important when putting yourself over the needs of others. Sometimes, it may be advisable to compromise and let your partner have their way before you consider yourself.

Final thoughts 

After reading through the tips on how to be yourself in a relationship, you will find it easier to balance your personal life and your love union. If you’re finding it hard to build your relationship the right way, consider going for couples counseling.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less