How to Deal With Negative Relationships

Did you know that negative relationships put out a negative aura that affects everyone who is around?  Negative emotions are contagious. Have you ever walked into a room full of people and felt the tension in the air?  Negative energy soaks up all the energy around you and leaves you tired. Therefore, negative relationships do the same thing. It is so important to protect your mind and spiritual self from energy drainage due to negative people.

Dysfunctional relationships drain a person’s self-worth

The main need of every human being is to be accepted. Personality disorders develop from feelings of not being accepted and supported by people that you have made deep emotional, intimate commitments to.

1. Do you think your mate’s constructive criticism is really degrading and a reflection of their own self-hatred?
2. Has your partner’s dishonesty caused you a great deal of hurt, embarrassment, and disappointment?
3. Do you seek happiness in your friends, family, and children because you have given up on finding that with your partner?
4. Couples create memories that sustain them during tough times. Are your best memories strong enough to do that?

Negative relationships cause physical & mental health problems

A heartbreak creates anger, stress, coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, and immune system disruptions. Most people turn to a spiritual faith, friends, and family members to help get over negativity and its effects.

However, some people have been in a negative relationship so long, they have accepted not to expect love, support, and respect.  They believe that it does not exist for them. They actually believe they are not worth loving and stay in the relationship to prove they are worth it.

A case study of a couple where work interferes in their relationship:

Judy 33, a travel agent, has been married to her childhood sweetheart, Thomas, a corporate executive for 12 years. The last five years have been difficult. Thomas’ company is downsizing. Thomas complains that the atmosphere at work is so competitive that he can barely stand it. He doesn’t think he can find another job as good as the one he has so he hangs in there.  Each day is worse than the day before.  Thomas comes home with a nasty attitude every day. His personality has changed from charming to Mr. Nasty.  Judy thinks he picks at her because his supervisor does that to him all day long.

Thomas is often too drained to communicate and have fun with her.  Starting a family has been prolonged again.  Each evening after dinner, Thomas sits in front of the TV with a drink in his hand until he falls asleep. Judy thinks Thomas’s company uses employee competition tactics to get more work out of their employees. Work they don’t pay for.  It has been five years.  Judy has lost hope for a healthy marriage. She stays because she loves Thomas. She finds herself hoping he gets fired. Judy has started to work late hours and drink alcohol.

However, there is help available.  Persons who are in relationships with drug, alcohol, gambling, workaholics addicts seek 12 step group sessions where they learn that there are boundaries everyone needs to set in a relationship. There are many types of community support groups available that empower self-worth and entitlement of respect and peace of mind.

These groups provide action plans towards those goals. These plans give communication tools to deal with people who bring negative emotions and relationships in your life.If people in your support system start to say to you, “Why are you still there if you are so unhappy with this person?” At this point professional counseling or a community support group can’t hurt.

A case study of a couple whose finances creates negative feelings between them:  

James 25, an automotive mechanic, loves Sherry, his wife of two years. They have a one year old boy, John.

When James met Sherry, he loved the fact that she cared about her appearance.  However, he never knew the cost of keeping up that appearance until they married.  Sherry has a job and thinks she is entitled to her beauty expenses because she had them before marriage.  What you do to get them is what you have to do to keep them, right?

James wants to save money for babysitting and daycare expenses.  He wants Sherry to stick to a reasonable budget and not be so high maintenance.  Finances are the only thing they fight about and it has been round after round.  Now, Sherry has started to hide her purchases but forgets to hide the receipts.  James is frustrated because these fights are affecting their sex life. He is also having chest pains and headaches. It doesn’t help when his friends tell him, “I told you so”.

Thomas has been advised by a church member to seek marriage counseling at the church, it is free. Also, his best friend’s sister is a financial manager.  He is thinking it over.  Sometimes everyone needs a little help. He and Sherry cannot solve this problem by themselves because they are not listening to each other and not willing to compromise.  Many marriages dissolve over money and lifestyle decisions. This is a topic to talk about before marriage.

Negative relationships affect your physical and mental health

Too many negative emotions end relationships and marriages because they tear down self-worth, respect, and support for the parties involved.  Seeking faith based counseling, community support groups, financial counselors, and professional counselors are solutions that should not be ruled out if the negativity in the relationship is destroying each partner.  The relationship can most likely be saved with trained professional help.