50 Timeless Pieces of Advice on Love and Relationships
Most people long for a healthy, happy relationship with someone they love, but finding and maintaining such a relationship isn’t always easy. In today’s modern, technological world, people often turn to the Internet for love advice to help them create their ideal relationship.
Below, find a list of 50 pieces of advice on love and relationships. If you’re looking to improve your love life, there is a token of advice for just about every situation.
The good news is that the advice about love below stands the test of time.
50 evergreen pieces of advice on love and relationships
The love and relationship advice below can be useful if you’re struggling with a problem in your current relationship or simply trying to decide what qualities you should seek in a romantic partner.
1. Fighting isn’t about winning
The best love advice out there typically involves helpful tips on conflict resolution. If you’re looking for advice in this area, it’s important to remember that fighting isn’t about winning.
If you approach conflict with the intent to win or prove why you’re right, nothing will ever be resolved. Instead of determining a winner and a loser, fighting or arguing should aim to develop a deeper understanding of each other and arrive at a compromise.
2. Expressing appreciation is critical
In long-term relationships, people want to feel that their partner appreciates them and remember that when looking for advice on love and relationships.
Research shows that feeling gratitude from a partner plays an important role in relationship satisfaction, so love advice that encourages partners to express appreciation for each other is quite accurate.
You don’t have to make grand gestures to show appreciation for your partner. Instead, expressing thanks when they go out of their way to make you happy or offering a word of appreciation when they take on an extra chore can go a long way.
3. Approach conflict softly
Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to create hurt feelings or lead to relationship breakdown. Instead of attacking your partner during a disagreement, try to approach the situation softly.
You can achieve this by using “I statements,” such as, “I feel hurt when you don’t greet me after work. Could we take a moment to say hello when you walk in the door?”
When looking for advice on love and relationships, remember there is a much more effective approach than attacking with a statement like, “You never greet me after work! You don’t even care about me!”
Related Reading: 10 Tips for Healthy Conflict Resolution in Relationships
4. Time apart is beneficial
Sometimes, people think that a couple should spend all of their time together, giving up all other relationships and activities for each other. In reality, this is a recipe for disaster.
Relationships thrive when each member of the partnership has time to explore friendships and hobbies outside of the relationship. This allows each person to retain their unique identity, and it makes time together more interesting, as well as more meaningful.
5. Love requires action
Good advice for relationships often reminds us that love is a verb, meaning that it requires action. It’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking that love alone is enough to maintain a relationship, but it requires more than this.
For love to be lasting, each partner must try to keep the spark alive and make the relationship work.
A piece of good advice on love and relationships is that you must be intentional about working on the relationship, even when times are hard.
6. The honeymoon will fade
New relationships can feel magical. You’re getting to know a new person and falling in love, and everything is exciting. This honeymoon stage can feel quite blissful, but it’s important to understand that it will fade, even in the best relationships.
Rather than running away when the honeymoon is over, try to keep the spark alive by trying new things together, showing affection, and finding moments of passion in the relationship. If you end things just because the honeymoon ends, you’ll find yourself in the same spot with your next relationship.
7. Don’t rely on your partner to complete you
A lifelong relationship with a significant other can be beautiful. This person offers you support and will be by your side during good times and bad. However, you can only expect your partner to complete you or solve some of your problems.
It would help if you worked on yourself to have a healthy, lasting relationship. Once you are complete as a person in and of yourself, you can enjoy meaningful relationships rather than relying upon another person to make you whole.
8. Conflict does not mean the relationship is doomed
Some people are terrified of conflict. They think a relationship is over at the first sign of disagreement, but this isn’t the case.
Every relationship will have conflict; when handled properly, conflict can help you grow as a couple. Remembering this is important advice on relationships.
If conflict is managed in an unhealthy fashion, it can lead to a breakup, but when both people learn healthy conflict management, the relationship will thrive.
9. The grass probably isn’t greener on the other side
You might think you’re better off leaving when a relationship goes through rough patches, but the grass isn’t greener elsewhere. If you leave one relationship and enter another, the new one will also have problems.
You can make the grass in your relationship greener by watering it. If you don’t put in work to nurture the relationship, it will continue to have problems.
10. The little things are the big things
In a long-term relationship, no fancy vacations or grand gestures of love make the difference. Instead, small daily acts of love and kindness keep the spark alive.
Kissing each other before leaving for work in the morning, holding hands while watching TV on the couch, and picking up your love’s favorite snack at the store makes a world of difference.
11. You must fight fairly
No relationship can thrive when the conflict involves unhealthy tactics like name-calling, deflecting blame, or giving the other silent treatment.
For a relationship to last, fights need to be fair. This means fighting against the problem rather than the other person and finding common ground.
Related Reading: Fighting Fair in a Relationship: 20 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples
12. You have to seek out the good in your partner
Over time, we can forget what we like about our significant other. As life takes its toll, we may begin to see only the negative.
One of the best advice for love is to seek out the good in your partner. You’ll find the negative if you’re looking for it, but the good is also there. Seeing your partner in a positive light is essential.
13. There’s no such thing as a perfect person
You’ll never be happy if you spend your life searching for the perfect partner. A perfect person doesn’t exist, and no human being will always check all of your boxes.
Healthy relationships are made up of two imperfect people who accept each other, flaws and all. Accepting this is good relationships love advice.
14. Sex is more than just an orgasm
Physical intimacy can be an important part of a relationship, but it’s more than just having sex for the sake of an orgasm. Other ways to enjoy each other’s bodies include sensual touch, kissing, and exploring fantasies together.
In a long-term relationship, feeling as if you need to reach orgasm each time you have sex can create pressure. A good love relationship advice is to try new things together and explore other methods of physical intimacy to keep the passion alive.
15. Choose kindness
Spending your life with one person isn’t always easy, and sometimes your partner makes you angry or just gets on your nerves.
Rather than lashing out during these times, practice kindness. You can always choose kindness, which will have a much better outcome than saying something you’ll regret later.
16. Communication is critical
Clear communication is essential for healthy relationships, so if there’s one piece of advice for love that you take to heart, make it this: you must directly communicate your needs.
This means you cannot assume your partner knows what you want, nor should you rely on passive-aggressive communication or dropping hints. You must clearly state your needs, including what you expect, what makes you feel loved, and when your feelings are hurt.
Related Reading: 10 Effective Communication Skills in Relationships for Healthy Marriages
17. Things moving at a whirlwind pace is a red flag
New relationship advice often cautions people that it’s probably bad news if a relationship moves extremely quickly. Getting to know a new person takes time, so making promises of a future together or exchanging “I love yous” within the first few weeks of a relationship isn’t realistic.
If a person claims that you’re their soulmate after just a few days, or they’re trying to pressure you into moving in together after only a few weeks, they’re probably trying to get you hooked on the relationship.
This can become a bad situation when the person becomes an entirely different version of themselves after falling head over heels.
18. Love requires friendship
While romance and passion can be components of a loving relationship, they must also be built upon a solid foundation of friendship. At the end of the day, your life partner should be someone you enjoy spending time with.
When marriages involve friendship, people are more satisfied with their lives. This means that your relationship should be with someone you can have fun with and with whom you share common interests.
19. It’s important to meet each other’s needs
Relationships are a give and take, with both partners taking steps to meet the other’s needs. These include needs for affection, intimacy, and emotional support.
It’s helpful to realize that different people will have different needs, and just because your needs are met, it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner’s are. For lasting love, you must have ongoing conversations about whether your needs are being met.
20. Date nights are critical
Dating doesn’t end when you settle down and get married. Regular date nights are an opportunity to connect and spend quality time together as a couple.
Even if you’ve been together for years and you have kids in the midst, it’s important to prioritize regular date nights, even if it’s just a once-a-month movie date while the kids go to grandma’s house.
Related Reading: 40 Date Night Ideas for Married Couples
21. Keeping score doesn’t help anyone
One surefire way to make a relationship go sour is to keep score. If you’re constantly keeping track of who did what for whom and trying to keep the score equal, you’re going to end up unhappy. Even worse, trying to “one up” your partner will just lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
Sometimes you contribute more to the relationship than your partner does and vice versa, but guilting them for times when they have fallen short isn’t fair. What’s important is that you’re both putting forth effort to meet the other’s needs; the final score doesn’t matter.
22. Apologies are important
When you’ve done something wrong, it’s essential to apologize. We all make mistakes in relationships, and we can grow together as a couple when we apologize.
Apologizing validates the other person’s pain, and it’s the first step in moving on from hurt feelings. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who never apologizes.
23. Don’t fall in love with potential
You can’t change anyone, so if you’re falling in love with who your partner could be if they changed themselves for the better, you’ll probably end up disappointed.
If you enter into a long-term relationship with someone, you accept them for who they are now. Certainly, we all have flaws that we could improve upon, but if your love is based entirely on them changing, this isn’t the right relationship for you.
24. It’s never too late to start over
One piece of love and relationship advice that everyone needs to hear is that it’s always possible to start over. Just because you’ve invested several years in a bad relationship doesn’t mean you should continue it.
If a relationship isn’t making you happy, and things aren’t getting better, it’s time to walk away, no matter how much time and effort you’ve put into making it work. Just as you wouldn’t continue to pour money into a failing business, you shouldn’t stick with a relationship that’s not working.
25. You don’t owe anyone an explanation
Friends and family will probably have all sorts of love advice for you. They may express opinions about your partner or tell you how you should handle your relationship.
Sometimes, loved ones share their advice because they care about you, and it does help to take it to heart. However, what matters most is that your relationship works for you. If you’re happy, you shouldn’t let other people’s opinions interfere with your relationship.
26. Love isn’t enough
People sometimes think that love will carry them through anything if they love their partner. While it would be nice if love were all you needed, this doesn’t check out in reality.
Love isn’t enough to make a bad relationship last. If you love someone who is abusive or makes no effort for you, the love alone isn’t enough.
27. Don’t settle
In today’s world, where relationships are posted all over social media for all to see, you can really start to feel like you’re missing out if you aren’t in a committed relationship. This can lead some people to settle for the first person who shows them any interest.
While you may think you’re doing yourself a favor and saving yourself from loneliness by partnering with the first person who shows interest, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.
Waiting for the right relationship will pay off in the long run.
28. Be realistic
You will always be disappointed if you compare your love life to the fairytale romances seen in movies and on TV. Real-life love isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.
The ups and downs of life, as well as the monotony of parenting duties, household chores, and paying the bills, mean that relationships aren’t glamorous, and it’s not always going to be a passionate love story.
Despite the monotony, lasting committed love is beautiful in its own right, even if it doesn’t resemble the fantasies we see on TV.
29. Respect is essential
One of the pieces of advice on love and relationships that won’t ever change is that respect is an essential ingredient. If you don’t respect your partner, you may as well not be in the relationship at all.
This means you should listen to your partner when they’re speaking, avoid belittling them and refrain from badmouthing them in front of others.
30. You have to talk about things, even if they hurt
A long-term relationship requires deep conversations, even when it hurts. If you keep your hurt inside, the issue will never be resolved.
To grow as a couple, you must address difficult topics, no matter how painful they might be. You can handle difficult conversations if the relationship is meant to work out.
31. It takes two to tango
When there is a problem in a relationship, both partners contribute to it. As much as you want to blame your significant other, the truth is that you bring something to the table too.
Any time you experience a disagreement or an ongoing issue, you must be willing to explore your contribution to the problem. Resolving it will require both of you to address your personal contribution to the conflict.
32. Change is inevitable
Expecting your partner to be the same person at age 50 that they were when you got married at 25 is just not reasonable. You’re going to change and grow over the course of your relationship.
What contributes to lasting love is the ability to love your significant other at each stage of life. For example, the svelte, carefree woman you fell in love with at the age of 20 will morph into a committed, rational wife and mother, and you must respect and love this version just as much as the young woman you fell for years ago.
33. You must learn to forgive
Also, among the most timeliness pieces of love and relationship advice is that forgiveness is necessary. Your spouse or partner is going to let you down at times, and if you hold onto grudges or resentment, the relationship won’t last.
Learning to accept your partner as human and forgive their mistakes is simply a requirement.
34. It’s important to set expectations
Whether we’re consciously aware of it or not, every relationship comes with rules and expectations. Sometimes, the rules are unwritten, and we just fall into a pattern.
If you want the best chances at a happy relationship, it’s important for both of you to set expectations for what you need and want in the relationship. You can’t expect your partner to read your mind or follow a set of rules that haven’t been clarified.
Related Reading: 10 Healthy Expectations in a Relationship & How to Manage Them
35. Realize that bad times aren’t forever
Marriage isn’t just years and years of passionate bliss. Even the best of relationships will have rough patches.
If you want some practical love advice, let it be this: no bad time lasts forever. If you’re in a rut with your spouse, recognize that if you ride the wave, you’ll return to better times.
36. You’ll know if someone is into you
Among the top pieces of new relationship advice is that you shouldn’t have to guess whether someone is into you. If a person is interested, their actions will show it.
The takeaway is that if someone continues to send mixed signals, and you’re just unsure if they’re into you, it’s time to move on. Don’t waste time on this person when you could be out finding the person who is a good match for you.
37. You shouldn’t have to chase
Relationships aren’t always 50/50, but they definitely shouldn’t be one-sided. If you’re chasing someone down, they aren’t the one for you.
If a relationship is worth your time, the person will be available to you and will put forth just as much effort as you do.
38. You can only control yourself
We could save ourselves so much frustration and heartache in relationships if we recognize that we cannot change our partner; we can only change ourselves.
You may not be able to control your partner’s behavior, but you can control your reaction to it.
When you focus on managing your own behavior so that it contributes to the well-being of the relationship, your partner will either follow suit or you’ll realize that the relationship isn’t right for you.
39. Someone who says all of their exes are crazy is probably the problem
Most people have experienced one or two bad relationships. Still, if every discussion of the past involves your significant other talking about how crazy all of their exes were, you should probably run.
A pattern of repeated failed relationships, in which one person blames all of their past lovers for every problem, suggests that this person cannot take accountability for their own bad behavior.
40. Don’t look for love in the wrong places
If you want a committed partner who will build a life with you, you need to look in the right places. For instance, if you’re into working out, you might consider meeting someone at a local gym, or if you’re highly religious, you might try to date someone from church.
When you look for love at bars or parties, you’re more likely to find a one-night stand.
41. Your efforts should be reciprocated
The most healthy relationships involve an equal partnership, which both people try to maintain. If you’re putting forth all the effort, and it seems your significant other gives you only the bare minimum, this relationship isn’t fair to you.
42. Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader
A person who has your best interests at heart and truly cares for you will be your biggest cheerleader. This means they will support your hopes and dreams and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
If your significant other sabotages your efforts at growth or undermines all of your successes, this is a sign that this person is insecure or doesn’t have the maturity to be in an adult relationship.
43. Pick your battles
When two people come together, they bring many different life experiences, personality traits, and beliefs to the table. Even highly compatible partners will disagree on some things.
This means that you must pick your battles. If you look at something to disagree on, you’ll always find something. Instead of nitpicking and arguing over trivial matters, save the arguments for big issues, like the decision about where to live or where to send your kids to school.
44. Pick someone with shared values
Two people don’t need to have absolutely everything in common to have a successful relationship, but having shared values in important areas is pretty critical. For instance, you should have similar views on lifestyle, finances, and big-picture issues, such as whether or not you want children.
If all of your values don’t line up, you’ll need to determine which differences are deal breakers and which aren’t. Certainly, small differences in political views or religious beliefs can be managed, but if you have entirely different worldviews, it’s going to be difficult to create a shared life.
45. Breakups aren’t all bad
When you’re still searching for your lifelong partner, breakups can be devastating. You may avoid breaking up because you’re worried you’ll never find a happy relationship again.
One piece of love advice that can get you through a breakup is the fact that breakups can be good. When you leave a relationship that was wrong for you, you’ve opened yourself up to the one that’s right.
With each breakup, you also have an opportunity to learn from what went wrong so you know what to do differently in the next relationship.
46. Someone else doesn’t define your worth
If a potential partner rejects you or someone you love leaves you, it’s easy to get stuck in a trap of feeling like you aren’t worthy of love.
Another person should never define your worth. If you’re not right for someone, this doesn’t say anything about your value as a human being. It simply means that you weren’t the right choice for that person, but you could be an excellent mate for someone else.
47. You have to take responsibility for yourself
A relationship will sometimes reveal your faults or the areas where you could use some self-growth. If you want a lasting and healthy relationship, you’ll have to take responsibility for these areas of growth.
For instance, you may notice in a relationship that you tend to shut down during conflict. You must take responsibility for changing this, especially if it’s leading to ongoing problems in the relationship.
48. Recognize that both of you have valid feelings in an argument
Sometimes, partners can get caught up in trying to decide who is right during an argument. Often, it turns out that the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Both you and your significant other can have valid feelings or a rational argument when you’re in the midst of a conflict. What’s important is to acknowledge both viewpoints and find a solution that allows both parties to feel heard and respected.
49. Going to bed angry isn’t all bad
If you’ve looked up love and relationship advice, you’ve probably landed on an article that says, “Never go to bed angry!”
Some couples may insist on resolving an argument before bed, but this isn’t always possible. Sometimes, a good night of sleep allows you to hit reset. In the morning, when you’re both refreshed, you’ll be able to approach the argument with a clearer head.
50. Your marriage should take priority over everything else
Finally, one of the top pieces of advice on love and relationships: you must prioritize your marriage. This means that your relationship with your spouse comes before making your in-laws or your friends happy.
It also means that you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking date nights or weekend trips away from the kids. Nurturing your relationship is so essential, and you shouldn’t ever feel guilty for doing so.
How can I advise my friend on love?
If your friend comes to you, it’s important to know how to give relationship advice. The first step is to keep an open mind and really listen to your friend. Don’t assume that you know their situation.
Then, you can offer advice as a suggestion. Do not act as if you know all the answers. Simply offer some words of wisdom, and suggest that it might help them.
Finally, remind them that you’ve offered advice because you care about them and want them to be happy.
For more on how to give advice, see the video below:
Exploring advice on love and relationships can give you some ideas and strategies to help you improve your love life or make the most of your current relationship.
While these self-help strategies can be beneficial, some people may find that they need a little something more. If you’re struggling to form a healthy relationship or you need some support to get your marriage back on track, a relationship therapist is a great resource.
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