What Women Want in Bed: 201 Things You Should Know About

Each woman is worlds apart when it comes to what brings them sexual gratification. But there are crucial elements that make all women enjoy the overall experience. That’s what ultimately leads to everyone’s ultimate satisfaction.

Everyone wants to know the secrets – what women want in bed. There’s really no recipe; it’s quite simple. Women wish for genuine intimacy apart from strictly desire, and there is a difference. You’ll be hard-pressed to find many women who prefer a partner merely interested in the act. 

Most long for a mate to be wholly emotionally involved because that will make the difference between intentional foreplay, exploring every inch to learn a woman’s body thoroughly, and “a two-minute interlude” that leaves the woman feeling somewhat empty.

What are some things a partner can do to avoid the latter scenario? Let’s check out what women really want in bed.

9 qualities women admire and like sexually

So, what do women like in bed? It’s essential to recognize that individuals vary widely in their preferences, and there is no universal formula for what all women like sexually. People are unique, and what one person enjoys, another may not. 

It is crucial to communicate openly with your partner and pay attention to their desires and boundaries. That said, here are some tips that may contribute to a positive sexual experience:

• Communication: Open and honest communication is key. Talk with your partner about their desires, boundaries, and fantasies. Encourage them to express their needs and preferences and be willing to share yours as well.
• Consent: Always prioritize and respect your partner’s boundaries. Consent is fundamental in any sexual activity, and both partners should feel comfortable and willing.
• Emotional connection: Building emotional intimacy can enhance the overall sexual experience. Feeling connected and emotionally close often leads to a more satisfying sexual relationship.
• Foreplay: Many women appreciate ample time spent on foreplay. This can involve kissing, touching, and other forms of physical intimacy that help build arousal and anticipation.
• Variety: Keep things interesting by trying new things in the bedroom. This might include different positions and locations or incorporating new elements into your sexual routine.
• Oral sex: Many women enjoy receiving oral sex. Take the time to understand and explore your partner’s preferences in this area, as individual preferences can vary.
• Mutual exploration: Experimenting together and discovering each other’s bodies can be a fulfilling part of a sexual relationship. Be open to trying new things and learning what brings pleasure to both partners.
• Focus on pleasure: Pay attention to your partner’s pleasure and satisfaction. A selfless and giving attitude can contribute to a positive sexual experience.
• Aftercare: After sexual activity, show affection and care. This can include cuddling, talking, or simply spending time together. Aftercare helps reinforce emotional connection and well-being.

21 things women really want in bed

What women want sexually is to be active participants who can express their needs and desires openly and expect the same from their mates. That’s the path to having a mutually satisfying sex life.

If you can’t express what you want or how you prefer to be touched, how do you expect to enjoy the experience? There comes (or should) a point in your partnership where you reach the various levels of intimacy and share this or any type of conversation.

Intimacy is far more than just sex, and if you enjoy all aspects with your partner, a discussion on how you want to make love should be effortless. To help out, let’s look at a few things women like in bed.

1. Have confidence in yourself

One of the most basic answers to the question, “What do women want in bed?” is confidence.

A woman finds a partner that eludes confidence to be sexy. Self-esteem can sometimes diminish when the clothes come off, if it’s the first time for the two of you, or if you’re struggling with body image.

It would help if you remembered that she is more focused on how you make her feel, not what you consider your flaws. Attraction, especially sexual attraction, isn’t necessarily something based on appearance.

Individuals are naturally drawn to those who give off an edge of self-assurance and certainty. Don’t lose that when you get to the bedroom.

2. Joint initiative

There’s a misperception that one or the other person needs to “take control” of the sexual encounter, and that’s phooey. 

What women want in bed but never say is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. Nor is there any type of set rules attached to making love.

Sex needs to be free, explorative, and mutual without either person having thoughts going through their mind that they need to do more or be more aggressive. Women want an authentic experience, not a role being played.

3. What women want to hear in bed

Women want to hear their partner respond to their touch in the same way that mates wish to listen to women’s sounds.

If you’re not making any noises to show that a woman is making you feel good and satisfying your needs, it isn’t very reassuring for her, as it wouldn’t be for you.

That’s not saying make noises if you’re not feeling it, but express what you need to get there to the woman in your life.

4. What do women like about sex?

Women love sex. It’s a misnomer to believe that women dislike sex. The fact is that women like sex when it’s fulfilling, and often, it’s not because mates are uninformed about how to satisfy a woman.

Each woman is indeed different in their expectations. Some women prefer that their mates take control and be aggressive. Some women prefer the experience to be mutual. But as a whole, women like to be “consumed” by their partner and vice versa.

And that can mean gazing at every inch of their body, then touching each spot, staring into their eyes to take in the soul, or kisses that take your breath away – intentional foreplay leading to a desire that makes you want to explode; total intimacy.

That should be what everyone wants – not just women. Then everyone would love – and look forward – to sex.

5. Take it out of the bedroom

What women want in bed that some partners might not realize is spontaneity. Take it outside of the bedroom. That doesn’t necessarily mean out in public (though some women are exceptionally adventuresome), which can lead to repercussions, and no one is encouraging you to get into trouble.

Try the couch, maybe the back garden, if you can find a private spot. The idea is to go on impulse and not a schedule.

6. But then again . . . how about a schedule?

One of the most pleasurable things for a woman is scheduling an intimate evening that might not even involve sex, but the hope is that it will be the climax to the “date.” It’s exciting to get all dressed up and go out for perhaps dinner.

Then, come back home for an intimate dessert or adult beverage (maybe hot cocoa or a drink of your choice), ultimately developing the desire to become closer. The anticipation for the evening alone incites fantasies for each partner.

7. Bring in some sex toys

Sex toys don’t only need to be directed toward women. What a woman wants sexually is to get involved in the activity. Toys can be used for many different scenarios, or couples can become involved in role-playing to spice things up in the bedroom.

The idea is to talk first and look at the varied options. Once you decide what you want to try, order together and anticipate the package so you can give the items a try.

8. Don’t try to track your sex pattern

What women want from men sexually is to avoid being tracked for how long it’s been since the last encounter. No woman (nor should their partner) want to be reminded that there’s been a lapse in the bedroom.

There could be numerous reasons out of either of their control. Keeping track merely adds pressure and can further stall the desire. This is an important point to remember in the guide for what women want in bed.

9. Enjoy the quickies

Sometimes passion takes over a person for many reasons, and sex needs to happen right then and there. It could be when the urge strikes at the most inopportune time, but there’s nothing wrong with a quickie. There’s such an intense feeling of desire; women come away with exceptional gratification.

10. Lingerie is not for that quick second

Women want to wear lingerie more than once or twice a year for that special occasion or have it on longer than two seconds. Buy those fabulous bras and panty sets and wear them regularly, or get out of the fancy bodysuit.

Allow yourself to always feel sexy and attractive. That’s what these pieces of clothing are for.

11. Make sure to invest in some lube

Not all women experience issues with dryness, but many do have this problem, enjoying sex much more with lube. Some women, though, like the idea of lubrication included in their sexual activity even if dryness is not a concern.

It can prove arousing to use a silicone-based product. Rubbing might ultimately lead to discomfort, whereas adding lube can create a more sensual sliding sensation.

You can be creative by not leading in with the vagina from the get-go; instead, start perhaps by squeezing a little product on the breasts and massaging gently.

Too often, mates focus on a direct line to penetration instantly. Again, some women might find this the be-all for sexual satisfaction, but others might enjoy a little exploration before getting down to business.

12. Women don’t want to fake anything

What women love in bed is authenticity. No woman feels good about having to “fake” anything, and no woman wants to do that, nor should she do that.

That’s not helping their sex life or their partner know what they need or want to have an actual orgasm. When a woman misleads a partner into believing they’re accomplishing “the task,” she’s only doing a disservice to herself and the relationship. 

Again, full-on intimacy requires an open, honest, and vulnerable conversation about what’s good and what’s lacking. Sex for a woman is not good when it’s not genuine.

13. They can show you what they want

Show your partner what you want if instructions are not quite working the way you hope they will. You’re two grown adults, and demonstrating the way you need to be touched is sometimes an ideal way to help a mate understand what precisely it is you’re trying to express.

No one wants to fumble awkwardly and feel frustrated, ruining the moment. Make it more intimate by guiding your mate’s hands. That helps your partner learn your needs and creates greater arousal during sex.

14. Talk to her during sex

So, what does a woman needs in bed? Girls love to talk during sex. That’s not only dirty talk but also compliments. In fact, women love to both give and receive compliments in the bedroom. 

While dirty talk can indeed become arousing as you move further into foreplay, hearing loving thoughts or compliments can also create desire, leading to an intimate encounter.

But these need not be “lines.” A woman needs to tell when a mate is being genuine rather than attempting to get her into a sexual situation. So, don’t hesitate to ask her, “What do you like sexually?” to know her preferences.

15. Make her feel good about herself

Girls like to feel good about themselves. Part of that is a woman accepting who she is and being comfortable in her skin. When your self-esteem is high, the experience will be incredible.

If you haven’t reached the point of loving yourself, you can’t satisfactorily give yourself to a mate sexually.

You’ll be too concerned about how you look, how you’re performing, and if they’re enjoying themselves, which they’ll ultimately be unable to do because you’ll be too stuck in your head. This is an essential point in the guide for what women want in bed.

Before becoming involved in a sexual relationship, build the relationship with yourself and love yourself first. Then your sex life can be amazing.

16. Make her feel loved, even outside the bedroom

Some things girls like in bed don’t happen in the bedroom. Love and affection is an ongoing process and contributes to your sexual encounters.

Do you enjoy touching or embracing in any other aspect of your day, like no kiss before leaving for work, no hand-holding when out together, no incredible lingering hugs just to hug, and no holding each other while sleeping? 

If you don’t, how do you expect to muster up the gestures necessary to become intimate?

The relationship will appear to be too cold for that. Women (and mates, I would presume) require intimate contact in their partnerships regularly. Whether it’s a hand on the back while making dinner, stroking her hair, or kissing her on the cheek, she needs little reminders that she’s loved.

Otherwise, sex becomes going through the motions with no feeling because there are no other moments where she’s made to feel wanted or needed.

17. Courting is not a lost art

Women enjoy self-sufficiency, strength, and independence. That doesn’t detract from a desire to enjoy doors held open, courting from their mate, and flowers for special occasions.

The “wooing” from days past is not lost on the current generation. It’s not necessarily what girls like during sex but the prelude that entices them to enjoy their sexual experience so much more.

When a woman’s partner perhaps calls her from work and asks her out for a date, even though they’ve been together for some time, it brings immense pleasure to each of them on an intimate level different from sex.

Albeit, it brings a great sense of desire, resulting in an optimum sexual encounter later.

18. Do not be selfish

Women don’t want their partners to be selfish. Unfortunately, in many situations, a mate tends to focus on their self-satisfaction, forgetting a whole other person is participating and hoping for pleasure as well.

The same is true for women; there should be no potential to expect the entire focus on your needs and nothing to be left for your partner. It should be a mutual, loving, respectful experience for both individuals.

19. Alcohol is not the world’s greatest aphrodisiac

Something you can bet will not be on the list of things girls like during sex is a drunken partner. Alcohol is not an aphrodisiac, nor can it help achieve an orgasm with a high blood alcohol level.

If you were out having a good time and come home feeling like you want to continue the party in the bedroom, drink some coffee and sober up first. Drunken sex is the least pleasurable for a woman.

20. Don’t fall into a rut

Most women don’t want to develop a routine of when sex is “due.” That becomes a rut that is unappealing. Sex should be spontaneous when passion strikes, not an expectation for the partner during the week.

Once that happens, the magic is fading, and it’s time to communicate the issues to rejuvenate the relationship. This is where courting lessons come into play.

21. Respect boundaries and communicate openly

It’s crucial to respect each other’s boundaries and communicate openly about desires, limits, and preferences. Creating a safe and open environment encourages trust and allows both partners to express their needs without fear of judgment. 

Establishing clear communication helps build a deeper connection and ensures that both individuals feel valued in the relationship.

Watch this video by TEDx Talks where Sara Barmark, a journalist, shares her thoughts on the uncomplicated truth about women’s sexuality:

FAQs

When it comes to relationships and sexual intimacy, it’s natural to have questions about meeting a woman’s desires in bed. In this section, we’ll provide brief answers to address these common concerns.

• How important is communication in meeting a woman’s desires in bed?

Communication is extremely important in meeting a woman’s desires in bed as it helps create openness and understanding and allows both partners to express their needs and preferences.

• How much time do girls want in bed?

The amount of time girls want in bed can vary greatly depending on individual preferences and circumstances. It’s essential to communicate and find a mutual understanding to ensure both partners are satisfied.

• How does one be best in bed for women?

To be the best in bed for women, focus on their pleasure, listen to their needs, be attentive, and engage in open communication to understand their desires and preferences.

• How to be romantic in bed for ladies?

To be romantic in bed for ladies, focus on creating a loving and intimate atmosphere. Use soft lighting, play sensual music, engage in foreplay, express your love both verbally and physically, and prioritize emotional connection.

• How can we maintain a healthy balance between routine and experimentation in the bedroom?

To maintain a healthy balance between routine and experimentation in the bedroom, it’s essential to have open and honest communication with your partner. Discuss fantasies, try new things together, and continuously check-in to ensure both partners feel comfortable and satisfied in the relationship.

Final thoughts

Women are not complicated. Partners are partners with similar hopes and desires. The problem comes when there’s a lack of communication relating to their needs. Rather than sending out visible clues when having sex or using body language or hints, openly speak to each other.

Say what you want and how you want it. That’s the only way to have a healthy relationship and the optimum sex life. Clues, hints, acting out your needs . . . talk to your mate and demonstrate while in a sexual moment. This is the grown-up approach.