Saying no to the people you love is tricky and can confer a different meaning to the person at the receiving end.
Even though, you are on the same wavelength with your partner, saying ‘no’ to their sexual advances can create unnecessary stress and awkwardness between the two of you.
So, how can you deal with such a tricky situation?
Seeking sex advice from an expert can help. But, it is better if you learn how to deal with such a complicated situation all by yourself.
Here are five easy ways to say no to sex without hurting your partner:
1. Communicate the message to your partner earlier than saying no abruptly
According to Daring Greatly, men are most vulnerable at the time of ‘initiating sex’ with their partners than women.
They find it hard to accept rejections from their partners especially when it comes to sex. Men tend to take such denials personally. But, some women are also known to take rejections to heart. Unlike men, the fairer sex is highly likely to get emotionally attached to her sex partner.
Hence, such denials can prove damaging to an otherwise healthy relationship. However, you can avoid such unpleasant moments in your love life.
Feeling low or tired? All you need to do is communicate the message to your partner earlier than saying no in the heat of the moment. This can spare both of you from a distressing situation later.
2. Attach a valid reason to your lack of inclination
Just saying ‘no’ to the sexual advances of your partner without attaching any valid reason to the rejection may not go down well with them.
If you clearly explain why you are not in the mood to have sex, it can subdue their anger. There is nothing wrong in saying ‘no’ to them but when you do, make sure that you give a proper explanation.
You owe your partner that. If you share a healthy relationship with your companion, then it is not a difficult task to say ‘no’ to suggestions at times.
If matters go out of your hand, you can always turn to some expert for sex advice, who will look at the situation objectively and problem-solve the sex and intimacy issues in your marriage.
3. Sexual activity off the table? Make a plan to retain the passion
If your lover is in the mood to turn the heat on between the two of you, it is better not to douse the fire completely.
Even though you are not okay with the idea of having sex, you can always find an alternate way to connect with them. In a relationship, sex offers a lot more than just mere physical gratification. It is a method to love and to be loved.
If sexual activity is off the table, then cuddling, hand-holding, a friendly conversation over a romantic dinner or watching a film together can do the job for you.
The pleasure that is obtained from a sexual encounter lasts for a couple of minutes. But, enjoying the feeling of togetherness through simple activities can provide a greater containment.
4. The rain check is the word, suggest an alternate date
Sexual rejection feels a lot manageable for your partner if they are given a safety net.
Consider that you have been planning a weekend out with your friends for quite some time. If your friends cancel the outing at the last moment, you are likely to feel extremely disappointed.
You might end up having unsettled feelings post rejection. On the other hand, if your friends reject the proposal by giving a proper reason and suggest some alternate dates for the outing, then you are spared from such unpleasant thoughts.
The same situation occurs when you bluntly turn down your partner’s sexual advances without mentioning any reason or offering any suggestion. It is better if your reason is followed by an alternate date when both of you can mutually enjoy a blissful session of sex.
5. Be gentle, no need to tag your partner as a sex maniac
When you are declining your partner’s sex proposal, try to keep your tone and approach mild and gentle.
Avoid an aggressive tone even though you are feeling stressed or irritated. Whatever your mood is, do not reflect that in your words.
Do not spurn your companion with rude words or accuse them of being a sex maniac.
Also, your partner might try to coax you lovingly to give in to their needs. It is up to you how you handle the situation. You have to communicate the message clearly without offending or hurting them badly.
Be gentle and loving while staying true to your decision.
Think beyond sex and spice up your relationship
A relationship is not just about indulging in sexual encounters.
There are other ways to spice up your love life. You have to understand that sex is not something that you can force on your partner. But, sexual rejection can always be a difficult pill to swallow.
Rejections can hurt your partner’s ego especially if the non-acceptance is for their sexual advances.
Seeking sexual advice from an expert does work but as partners, you need to put in genuine efforts in breaking the barrier between the two of you.
Work towards building a better understanding
If your partner clearly understands your expectations, inhibitions, limitations, and mood swings, then it will become easier for them to handle any rejection from your end. Your partner will easily decipher the message conveyed through your body language.
This is possible only when you are on the same wavelength as your partner.
Hopefully, these 5 tips will equip with the useful insight into declining the sexual advances, when you are not feeling up to it while ensuring the rejection doesn’t drive a wedge between your marital happiness.