Marriage preparations are so much fun for the bride to be. There is a wave of excitement and pure joy in the air, and the close family members and friends wholeheartedly get involved in preparation for the wedding.
There’s so much to do right from shopping for the best wedding dress ever to finalizing the invitation cards and the venue to brainstorming on the food menu and a lot more.
These days personalized wedding vows are in vogue. So, that adds on to the list of things to prepare before a wedding!
But, this was all about physical preparation before marriage. What about the mental part?
There is so much more to preparing for marriage than the dress and the floral arrangements. There is a life that needs to be mapped out and discussed with your soon to be significant other.
While not as fun as selecting the flavor and design of your wedding cake, there are difficult subjects that should be hashed out before walking down the aisle. So, how to prepare for your wedding on the mental and emotional front?
Before you start with the material wedding day preparation, it’s time to prioritize the bride preparation before marriage, which entails all the necessary aspects to lead a happy and fulfilling life throughout.
Although you might feel like shunning this topic away for later, it is one of the important aspects to consider while preparing for your wedding.
You must discuss a few critical aspects way in advance to save yourself a big deal of disappointment from creeping in your life once the honeymoon period is over. So, make it a point to discuss all the essential aspects regarding children with your fiance before commencing the marriage preparation.
Do you want them? If so, how many? Are you raising them in your religion or his (assuming they’re different)? Homeschool? Public or private school?
There are a whole host of topics you both need to get on the same page to avoid blow-ups down the road. Be upfront with how you see raising your children, so neither of you is blindsided later.
2. Pick your battles
Once you begin with this new chapter of life, you tend to daydream and expect things to be lovey-dovey all the time. But, there will be a life beyond snuggling.
There will be times when you will feel be angry or disappointed or simply irritable. But, you must know when to respond and when to react.
This is so much easier said than done, and it takes constant practice and infinite patience, but your marriage will be calmer and more stable if you are ready for it.
Before getting agitated, ask yourself: is this worth a potential argument? If the answer is no, calmly ask if the offending task could get taken care of and will he be better about it in the future.
3. Get on the same page
You both come from different places, family structures, and more than likely very different backgrounds. Traditions, occasions, religious observances, where you’re going to live, careers, and all life events now impact another person.
You need to remind yourself even when you are too busy with the pre-wedding preparation for the bride, that once you say the wedding vows by the altar, there is going to be no more “Me.” When making major choices, the pronoun is going to be “we” now.
Leaving out the other half of the “we” will cause micro-cracks in the relationship. Enough of those, and you risk a major rift happening. This is the most important step you can take while going about the marriage preparation for the bride.
Communication needs to be open in the beginning and throughout the entire relationship. If this happens, the ride will be much smoother for both of you.
4. Date your spouse
In the initial days, it goes without saying that you will be dating your spouse in all innocence. But, this marriage tip is for you to remember when you start losing yourself in the mundane routines.
Work, kids, and other obligations have a way of draining our energy to the point where we just don’t want to do another thing. So, perhaps, it is then that you will need to schedule time.
Romance and connection are always important. Physical distance creates emotional distance. This can happen without the two of you even realizing it. Cuddle, hold hands, kiss, and yes, have sex.
5. Try pre-marriage counseling
Pre-wedding counseling can do a lot of good to your relationship before you get into the serious business of marriage preparation.
The counselor or your therapist will use a systematic approach and well-established methodologies to help you discover yourself, your spouse, and unravel some of the key facets of your relationship.
The counseling process can help you get ready, to begin with, this new phase of life with positivity, and equip you with some mental tools to face any challenges and strengthen your relationship.
Remember that in a marriage, you do not have to give up who you are as a person. But you can’t expect your future spouse to give themselves up either. The key is to meet your future spouse halfway.
Find compromises where compromises can be found and if there is a topic you refuse to budge on, say not circumcising your child, or household duties need to be split down the middle, say so.
Honesty and communication will work 100% of the time. It’s just there’s always a civilized way to express yourself!
So, get ready to plunge into the most exciting phase of your life. Get going with your marriage preparation, and trust your instincts- you are going to have a wonderful time with your spouse in the times to come!
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.