There is so much more to preparing for a marriage than the dress and the floral arrangements. There is a life that needs to be mapped out and discussed with your soon to be significant other. While not as fun as picking out China patterns, there are difficult subjects that should be hashed out before walking down the aisle.

 

Here are some helpful marriage preparation tips & advice for the bride:

 

1. Children

Do you want them? If so, how many? Are you raising them in your religion or his (assuming they’re different)? Homeschool? Public or private school? There are a whole host of topics you both need to get on the same page to avoid blow-ups down the road. Be upfront with how you see raising your children so neither of you are blindsided later.

 

2. Pick your battles

This is so much easier said than done and it takes constant practice and infinite patience, but your marriage will be calmer and more stable for it. Before getting agitated ask yourself: is this worth a potential argument? If the answer is no, calmly ask if the offending task could get taken care of and will he be better about it in the future.

 

3.  Get on the same page

You both come from different places, family structures, and more than likely very different backgrounds. Traditions, occasions, religious observances, where you’re going to live, careers, and all life events now impact another person. There is no more “Me” when making major choices; the pronoun is “we” now. Leaving out the other half of the “we” will cause micro cracks in the relationship. Enough of those and you risk a major rift happening. This is the most important step you can take in preparing for marriage.

 

Communication needs to be open in the beginning and throughout the entire relationship. If this happens, the ride will be much smoother for both of you.

 

4. Date your spouse

Work, kids, and other obligations have a way of draining our energy to the point where we just don’t want to do another thing. Schedule time. Romance and connection is always important. Physical distance creates emotional distance. This can happen without even realizing. Cuddle, hold hands, kiss, and yes, have sex.

 

You do not have to give up who you are as a person. The person you are marrying is only worthy if they have no desire to make you change. But you can’t expect your future spouse to give themselves up either. They key is to meet your future spouse half way. Find compromises where compromises can be found and if there is a topic you refuse to budge on, say not circumcising your son, or household duties need to be split down the middle, say so. Honesty and communication will work 100% of the time.