Cheating. Even the word sounds bad. What do you know about cheating? What do you want to know about cheating? Knowledge is power, so let’s delve into the subject so you can be forearmed in case this ever happens to you.
The history of cheating
As long as there have been social structures, there have been cheaters. People who wanted to work around those structures and social rules and found or created ways to cheat to attain their goals.
And nothing has changed over the years.
Cheaters have simply become more sophisticated as cheaters.
Think about it. In times gone by, if a man wanted to cheat on his wife, he had a much more difficult time doing so: no cars to smooch in, no texting, email or other ways to communicate electronically, no planes to take for rendezvousing away from hometowns.
Nowadays, cheating in many ways is much, much easier
Methods for cheating have become more advanced, and the passage of time has not changed the human instinct and temptation for some people to cheat.
Our highly technological era has merely refined cheating methods as cheaters have become more and more inventive and technologically savvy.
“What is in a name? That which we call a rose / by any other name would smell as sweet.”
Recognize that quote from your high school Shakespeare class? Remember what it means?
We are not talking botany here. It means when it comes to cheating, that whatever you call a cheater, he or she is still a cheater.
Look at all the names we have for cheater: adulterer, mistress, lover, two-timer, paramour, philanderer, womanizer, unfaithful spouse (or boyfriend or girlfriend), husband or wife snatcher, a bit on the side and the list could go on and on.
What it comes down to is this: one member of a relationship is not being faithful to the other member. Usually, one partner does not know about the other partner’s infidelity. This can be a one-time event or one partner may be a habitual cheater.
Types of cheating
Do you think there is a certain type of person who is prone to cheating?
Most professionals believe there are different personality types that tend to be cheaters. Dr. Kenneth Paul Rosenberg thinks there is. His book, Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat, details seven personality traits that increase someone’s chances of cheating.
His seven are:
- Narcissism —feeling self-entitled and putting yourself first.
- Lacking empathy — not being able to understand or share the feelings of another.
- Grandiosity — an unrealistic sense of superiority and sustained view that you are better than others, especially when it comes to sexual prowess.
- Being impulsive — making decisions with big consequences very suddenly.
- Thrill seeker – Being a novelty or thrill seeker.
- Fearing commitment – Having an avoidant attachment style.
Self-destructive streak – Being self-destructive or masochistic.
Of course one must ask, why would anybody want to become involved with any of these personality types in the first place since they are all rather undesirable traits?
And where are those cheaters hanging out?
Which nation do you think has the highest percentage of admitted cheaters? Thailand takes that (dis)honor with 51% of the populace admitting that they had cheated in a relationship. The following nine countries are all in Europe.
Here is the list of admitted cheaters in order:
- Denmark 46%
- Italy 45%
- Germany 45%
- France 43%
- Norway 41%
- Belgium 40%
- Spain 39%
- United Kingdom 36%
- Finland 31%
The sponsor of this study was Durex, the condom maker!
You can read more about it here. So if you are interested in having an affair, head to Thailand or Europe. Americans admit to cheating 17% of the time.
Of course, all of these statistics should be read with a grain of salt since they are the percentage of admitted cheaters and there really is no way of determining whether the participants in the study are telling the truth or not. Nor does the study specify which sex the participants were.
Which country has the highest percentage of married women who admit cheating?
Unlike the previous research, this study had only married women reporting if they had cheated on their husbands. And the country with the highest percentage of unfaithful wives is Nigeria, with 61% of married women claiming that they had been unfaithful in their marriage. Here is the rest of the rankings from a highest number of married women engaging in affairs:
- Thailand 59%
- United Kingdom 42% (Compare it to the statistic of 36% for the country as a whole, above.)
- Malaysia 39%
- Russia 33%
- Singapore 19%
- France 16.3%. The figure for married men who engaged in extra-marital sex is a bit higher at 22%.
- USA 14%
- Italy 12%
- Finland 10%
Again, it is best to be a bit skeptical about the study, but it is interesting to view the rankings.
So all in all, what does this mean?
Statistics and personality types are essentially meaningless when it comes down to the individual. It is beneficial to read and learn about types of cheating, but again it is an individual’s own decision as to whether he or she will be engaging in an affair.
Just because you might be married to a Thai man or a Thai woman does not mean that they are cheating on you (or that you are cheating on your husband or wife.)
As the former president of the United States Ronald Reagan once stated, “Trust but verify.”
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.