What Do Women Want in a Relationship: 20 Things to Consider

The age-old question, ‘What do women want in a relationship?’

Ever wonder if there is a secret code to cracking how your wife’s mind works? That sometimes, you are sure she is trying to tell you something, but you lack the ability to understand what she is communicating?

Do you sometimes wish that women came with a special decoder ring? 

People belonging to the world of Psychology and Literature are well-aware of the name Sigmund Freud.

He once very famously said, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is, ‘What does a woman want in a relationship ?’”

Several articles and quotes are taking a jab at women and their basic desires. How it always states that it is impossible to understand women.

They portray women as an algebraic formula or any science experiment where one would dissect something or break down the compound.

So, what do women want in a relationship with their partners? No need to stress. Women really aren’t all that complex. Both sexes want the same thing from relationships; they just take different routes to get to their goals. 

20 things a woman needs from a man in a relationship

So, what women want men to know?

Here are a few solid relationship advice for men on what every woman wants. You can use it to better understand what women want in a man and what do women want in a relationship:

1. Show her strength and weakness

What a woman needs in a relationship is to feel that you are her rock, that she can count on you during the tough times, that you will always make her feel safe and protected.  

At the same time, she also appreciates when you can give her a glimpse of your softer side, your vulnerabilities, your fears, and apprehensions.  

The best marriages are made of this: alternating roles of being a strong partner. So let her in, let her support you when you need support. And do the same for her when she is feeling overwhelmed.

2. Love is in the small acts

Hollywood may have you believe that only the grand gestures can convey how much you love your wife. But you don’t need to send a limousine filled with red roses to pick her up at her office on Valentine’s Day to prove this.

What women need in a marriage that truly keeps their heart happy are the small gestures and reminders that she is on your mind.

The sweet text sent during the day to say you miss her; the back rub while you are watching television together; a surprise gift card to her favorite coffee place.

Ask any happy couple who has been married awhile what the secret is to renew their love day in and day out, and they will tell you that it’s these little niceties that keep the spark alive.

3. Learn to communicate

Communication is one of the important wants and needs in a relationship.

This goes for both in and out of the bedroom. And you will find that often a great conversation will lead to a great moment between the sheets.

Unlike men, what women want in a relationship is to feel emotionally bound to their partner to really enjoy sex. A deep discussion where there is an excellent back and forth of opinions can be terrific foreplay.

And, once in bed, don’t be shy about continuing the discussion—but have it focused on your mutual physical pleasures rather than, say, politics.

Remember that the way you communicate with your spouse in marriage reflects on how satisfactory your relationship would be.

4. Tune into her emotions and her words

When you two are deep in discussion, it is important to not only listen to what she is saying but also to hear the emotions beneath her words.

Is she anxious, fatigued, sad, annoyed, frustrated? Or, on the more positive side, is she happy, joyous, giggly, and silly?

Women’s communication styles include so much more than just being verbal, so be attentive to the emotional messages she is sending out in order to get the big picture of what she is communicating.

5. Fight, but fight in a healthy way

Every relationship will have its share of conflict. But use these moments as lessons on how to communicate fairly, equitably, and with an openness towards listening to your partner’s side of things.

What a woman wants from a man in a relationship is for him to not blindly agree with her to avoid the fight but give her the time to express her point of view.

To show her that you have heard her, repeat back what you have understood. 

Learning to resolve conflict without walking away is one of the most valuable skills you can acquire and will be important in preserving the health of your relationship.

Related Reading: Relationship Tips for Women Revealed by Men

6. Never let her feel invisible

In the early days of your relationship, you probably couldn’t keep your eyes off of her. It is normal for this urge to diminish as your relationship evolves. But never let your wife feel that you don’t see her.

As often as possible, put away any distractions when talking together. Put down the remote, your cell phone, or your tablet when talking together. Take a gander at her when she talks. Eye contact conveys the message that she is important to you and that you value what she is saying.

When she comes home from getting her hair done, tell her what a knockout she is. She’s made an effort to look pretty for you, so let her know you see that.

Feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last.

This is one of the best relationship advice for men on what do women want in a relationship

7. Even effortlessness takes work

When you are involved in a relationship that isn’t right for you (or for her), everything seems like a lot of work.

Deciding where to go for dinner seems to take too much effort, and making weekend plans is plain out exhausting with the wrong person.

But when you’ve found “the one,” your relationship is like driving without the brakes on smooth, effortless, and breezy.

You do need to work to keep the relationship vibrant and fresh. However, with the right person, this is the kind of work that is enjoyable. 

8. Renew yourself

Keep your skills and your relationship growing by trying new things together. It is one of the important things needed in a relationship.

It could be taking a vacation to an exotic location or undertaking an out-of-the-ordinary adventure like kayaking or hang-gliding. 

Relationship experts point to the link between adrenaline rush and increased libido, so think about that when you are preparing for your first surfing lesson together!

Not up for something quite so risky? What about enrolling in an adult education class and learning something brand new together?

A foreign language, or French cooking…anything that changes things up from your ordinary routine, all while boosting your brainpower!

9. To not always be a rescuer

First things first, what do women want in a relationship is when she is complaining about some incident at work or any family drama, until or unless she asks for your opinion, keeps it to yourself.

Let her vent out, let her cry at the injustice of the situation, and just be there for her.

Contrary to popular belief, we do not want Superman all the time. Sometimes, a keen ear and a comfortable presence are the answers to what a girl wants in a relationship.

10. To speak the truth

Men tend to agree to things that they have no intention of seeing through. For them, it’s not a big deal, but what women want in a relationship is to be true to one’s word is the epitome of being a decent human.

Christiana Njoku, in one of her articles, mentioned that

Honest men are attractive to women because their words can be trusted, but liars are a complete turnoff.

When a woman catches her man in a lie, she starts to doubt every word you ever spoke.

11. Respect her

Those cheesy ‘I love you’ will never be enough for a strong-minded woman. If you love her, show it. Be respectful towards her, be gentle, be attentive, be caring, and be soft with your words and not only with her but others as well.

So, how to treat a woman right?

One of the best qualities of a good man is to treat women with respect.

Show her that you are a good man, a good person, a good human being.

Trust me. she will love you more than you think she was capable of. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man doing exactly what he said he would.

12. Make her feel protected

Now, a lot of men tend to think about a damsel in distress whenever I point this little note to them.

Sadly, what they fail to grasp is that most women are not talking about the physical strength of a man when they say that they did or did not feel safe with a certain someone.

It is almost always about how they did not feel safe enough to open themselves up.

What women want in a relationship is to feel safe and protected before they can actually voice their opinion or desire to their guy.

And it takes a strong man to listen and follow the advice of their better-halves as well.

13. Make her feel beautiful

One of the things women want is to feel valid to their partner. There is nothing sadder than a woman believing that she is not enough.

Any man who, in any way or form, is unable to make his partner feel worthy does not deserve her in the first place.

She should not look at others and fear that you might change your mind. She should have enough confidence in the relationship to know that you are not going anywhere, and this confidence is bestowed on us by our partners.

14. Communicate freely

The significance of communication in marriage is frequently not paid enough attention to. In general, couples feel that the everyday exchange or its absence doesn’t influence their day-to-day life.

Often you will find that regularly communicating with your partner will enhance not only emotional intimacy but also physical intimacy.

In contrast to men, ‘what do women want in a relationship’ is to feel genuinely close to their partner. A profound conversation where there is a fantastic too and fro can be stupendous foreplay.

What’s more, once in bed, don’t be timid about proceeding with the conversation—yet have it concentrated on your shared physical joys as opposed to other social issues.

Know that the manner in which you communicate with your life partner in marriage affects how satisfied you both would be in that relationship.

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15. Share responsibilities

What do women want in a relationship?

Someone who doesn’t shy away from, but willingly accepts household responsibilities, from washing dishes, cooking food, to doing laundry.

One of the things women like is when men start taking household responsibilities. This is one of the significant things ladies need from their spouses. They want their men to take an interest in household work and help them in every way possible.

Take an interest in grocery shopping, family errands, and even invest some energy with kids.

Ladies will be excited by these little gestures.

16. Invest your time

Women need to talk. They need to express themselves to their partners. They feel connected with their partners when they spend time and share what they have on their mind with their partner.

So make sure you make time for your woman. This will not only make her feel closer to you but make her more relaxed and calm.

17. Be reliable

One of the ways of understanding women’s emotions and keeping relationships healthy is to be reliable.

Today’s woman is empowered, self-sufficient, and she can take care of all her needs. But a relationship doesn’t work that way. In a relationship, both partners must be able to rely on each other. A woman needs a man that she can count on.

Be reliable, be there for her when she needs you, be emotionally available for her.

18. Be thoughtful

A little thoughtfulness can go a long way to understand- What do women want in a relationship.

Sometimes run a few errands for her, do her share of household chores, take her out for dinner, buy her flowers for no reason. All this can make her really happy. Be thoughtful about what makes her happy.

19. Appreciate her

Appreciating a woman doesn’t just mean thanking her on women’s day. It is much more. You have expressed to her that you value her and her contributions to the relationship through little gestures and gifts. You should appreciate her not only in private but socially, in front of your friends.

Here, Christiana Njoku adds,

It doesn’t cost much to appreciate your woman. Simply show that you value and respect her, particularly her contributions to the relationship and you are good to go!

Time and again, expressing gratitude will keep her happy and will motivate her to keep working towards making your relationship better.

20. Express yourself

Men, unlike women, are often not fond of sharing everything with their partners. But it is, in fact, a very healthy practice. Relationships in which both partners share all their feelings and express themselves are much healthier and more fulfilling than those where the partner hides things from each other.

Women have a tendency to overthink.

When their partners conceal their feelings or any other information from them, it causes them a lot of stress. So if you have something in mind, discuss it with your wife. It will save her from a lot of overthinking and will make your relationship better.

Related Reading: Best Pieces of Marriage Advice for Men

Every woman is different, so ask instead of assuming

These twenty points describe patterns that show up often, but they aren’t universal truths about all women. The most reliable way to know what your specific partner needs is to ask her directly, rather than applying generalizations about “what women want” to the one woman in front of you.

She may value some of these more than others, or have needs this list doesn’t cover at all. Treating her as an individual, rather than a stand-in for “women” broadly, is itself one of the most respectful things you can do.

If you’re not sure what she needs, the simplest approach is often the most effective: ask her, and really listen to the answer.

Are you giving your woman what she needs in a relationship?

Women are intrinsically caregivers. In relationships, they care for their partners, nurture and strengthen their relationship bond. Women, in most cases, are more invested in their relationships than their male partners.

This is not to say that men value relationships any less. It is just that women have a natural tendency of being more caring, and hence they contribute a lot more emotionally in relationships. They must be appreciated for that.

Women sometimes use indirect ways of communication that men find difficult to decipher and understand- What do women want in a relationship.

They express themselves so subtly through gestures, body language, and hints at men who cannot interpret what they are trying to say. Consequently, their needs in a relationship sometimes remain unfulfilled.

The best way to appreciate women is not by giving gifts or saying thank you but by reciprocating their relationship efforts. They give all the love, support, and respect that their partners need, and in return, they deserve to receive everything they need from a relationship.

Takeaway

These are just a few tips to improve your relationship with your spouse by understanding, “what do women want in a relationship?”

A great way to get even more advice? Do you know who else can give you the best relationship advice for men? YOUR WIFE! Ask your wife what you can be doing to make your marriage even better.

Such check-ins focused on enhancing your marriage are always welcome and can be better than using an online translator to understand your partner!

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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