No one is perfect, that is for sure. But being reminded of our mistakes and confronted about them could be a very uncomfortable feeling. Any type of criticism not only affects how you feel about yourself but also has the ability to create conflict with whoever is handing out the criticism. While it is true that constructive criticism could be a very good thing and could be helpful to you if you are open to advice, criticism in itself is very harmful. Is there too much criticism in your relationship? If you are in a relationship where your partner is critical of things you do and is vocal about it, that has the power to completely destroy any relationship. It is not productive, it creates animosity, and you start doubting your ability to be successful in your relationship and other areas of life. There will always be complaints from your partner or suggestions about things that could be done differently and vice versa, but when does it cross the line? Is your partner too critical? Is your relationship headed down a dangerous path? Take this quiz to find out!
1. How would your partner most likely respond if they were upset about you never remembering to take out the garbage?
A. “Could you please remember to take out the garbage next time you walk out the door? I don’t want to have to ask again.”
B. “You are so stupid and lazy. I knew you were going to leave the garbage here again. You can’t do anything right.”
C. “For the 10th time, can you get up and take the garbage out for once? How could you be so forgetful all the time?”
2. How would your partner ask you for help cleaning the dishes?
A. “Hey, I am really tired today. Do you think you could help with the dishes so I can go lay down?”
B. “I need you to stop being such a slob and clean the dishes for once in your life. Do you expect me to just do everything all the time, and you just sit around?”
C. “Is it too much to ask for you to help me every once in a while? I could really use a hand with the dishes.”
3. Do you or your partner call one another names during fights?
B. My partner calls me names
C. We both do
4. Do you ever feel like your partner makes you feel ashamed, embarrasses you, or makes fun of you?
A. Not at all
B. Not often
C. Most of the time
5. Does your partner take every opportunity to point out your flaws and then make you feel bad about them?
A. Not really
6. Do you feel like there is nothing you can do right in your partner's eyes?
7. Do you feel diminished by your partner or like you are beneath them?
B. Yes, they always make me feel that way
C. No, it is more like they are beneath me
8. Do you feel like you have good communication in your relationship?
A. Most of the time
9. Are you happy with the way your partner talks to you and about you?
A. Most of the time
10. Has anyone ever expressed concern for the way your partner talks to you or about you?