1. Can you talk openly and honestly, without feeling like you always have to defend yourself?
A. No, never
C. Yes, most of the time
2. Which of these is most like how your wife would react if you told her you were thinking about leaving?
A. threatening to harm herself, harming me or threatening to blackmail me in some way
B. Telling me she doesn’t need me and doesn’t want to be with me anyway
C. Crying and trying to convince me to stay
3. When a fight is over, what usually happens?
A. Usually she won’t talk to me for a while or show she cares at all about what I had to say or how I was feeling
B. Nothing, we just move on from it
C. We have sex
4. Do you ever feel like you deserve to be treated how your wife is treating you and like you caused this behavior?
A. Yes, all the time
5. When you bring up something that is bothering you, how would your wife react typically?
A. Telling me I am completely wrong or crazy in some way, sometimes to the point where I actually start to question my own sanity
B. Turning it around on me and making it about her
C. She would get defensive most likely, but she would listen
6. Do you ever feel ashamed for the way you allow your wife to treat you that causes you to isolate yourself from others?
A. Yes, all the time
7. How does your wife respond when you apologize or bring her a gift to show that you are sorry?
A. She would never go for that, she just acts like I am not even there
B. That would make her very happy
C. It depends, but usually she appreciates it
8. Do you feel like your wife suffocates you at times and always has a sense of control over what you are doing, where you are going and who you are hanging around with?
9. How do most of your fights play out?
A. She always ends up screaming and things escalate quickly
B. She always has to have the last word
C. We usually end up agreeing to disagree
10. How does your partner react when you talk about how you are feeling?
A. With sarcasm, arrogance or apathy
B. She usually tries to make it about her
C. She will listen when I share my feelings