How long has it been since you felt genuinely happy in your marriage? Was it always like this?
To be trapped in an unhappy marriage may be one of the saddest situations that we can get ourselves into. Of course, no one would be able to predict a marriage of unhappiness. In fact, most of us would be so cautious who to marry so we can have the best life with that person.
However, there are some things that we can’t control and basically, people change. So, when you have done all that you can but still see no change, it’s just expected that you would ask — how to get out of an unhappy marriage?
Related Reading: Reasons for an Unhappy Marriage
Understand why you’re not happy
Before we even consider divorce, we have already thought about what has happened to our marriage. It’s seldom that we would just jump into a conclusion and that we want to get out of a marriage just because of a silly fight or a small problem.
Most likely, this unhappiness is the result of years of neglect, problems, and even abuse. Start with getting to the main point of your unhappiness. Is it the neglect, the problems or the abuse?
There can be so many other reasons why one would feel unhappy and depressed and most of the time, they are all valid reasons. Once you understand the cause of the problem, then it’s time to plan what you will need to do with your life.
Related Reading: Signs of an Unhappy Marriage
Try to mend it and give it a chance
So, how to get out of an unhappy marriage when you are afraid and uncertain of your future?
Well, the important thing to remember here is to have a solid plan. We are not talking about daydreaming a plan or imagining how you can break to your spouse that you want a divorce.
You need to plan this ahead of time, but make sure that you are making the right decision — you still have to do one thing.
Why do you think it’s important to still try to mend the relationship?
This is because you don’t want to have any regrets when you finally end your relationship no matter how many years you have been together. First, talk to your spouse and pour your heart into the conversation. Explain what happened and point out that you still want to save your marriage if he or she is willing to compromise and get marriage counseling.
If your spouse agrees, then you still might get a chance to fix your marriage. However, there are some exemptions to this rule.
If you are married to an abuser or someone who has a personality or psychological disorders, talking isn’t the best step to take. You might need to skip some steps if your safety is at stake.
Related Reading: How to Deal With an Unhappy Marriage
8 Steps on how to get out of an unhappy marriage
If you have done all your best and you are firmly decided to get out of your marriage, then here are some of the steps that you can start taking into consideration.
1. Make a plan
Write it and make sure that you will be ready for what’s to come. If needed you can write each scenario and what you can do about it. You can also write down everything about your spouse, especially when there is abuse involved.
Create a timeline when abuse is present because you will need it along with proof. This is the most important step when you are contemplating how to get out of an unhappy marriage.
2. Save money
Start saving money and slowly learn to be independent, especially when you have been in a long unhappy marriage. You have to start believing in yourself again and start making plans alone.
It is not too late to start a new life of hope.
Thinking about how to get out of an unhappy marriage? Start by saving money. This is one of the most important steps towards building a future which does not include your partner.
Related Reading: How to Be Independent While Married?
3. Stay firm
When it’s time to tell your spouse, make sure that you are firm. Don’t let your spouse threaten you into backing out or even using force and abuse to teach you a lesson.
Remember, it’s now or never. This is your first and last chance.
4. Stop protecting your spouse
Now that you have made up your mind, it’s just right to stop protecting your spouse. Tell someone and ask for their love, support and just to be there when you start the divorce proceedings.
In any event that you might feel abused or threatened, you may need to ask for a restraining order and let someone you fully trust know about important details.
Related Reading: Reasons to Leave a Marriage and Start Life Afresh
5. Don’t hesitate to seek help
This is essential, especially when you are a victim of abuse. Reach out to a community or groups who offer help and are experienced in dealing with relationship problems.
Remember that seeking the support of a therapist can be a great help.
6. Avoid communications with your partner
Cut all communications with your partner, aside from divorce negotiations.
You are no longer required to be withstanding abuse and control or to just hear hurtful words from him or her. Don’t be affected with promises even if your spouse begs or even threatens you.
Related Reading: How to Communicate With Your Spouse During Separation
7. Expect challenges
While waiting for the divorce to be finalized, expect challenges such as financial problems and living alone again, but guess what, this might be the most uplifting feeling you will have since you were married.
Starting a new life and getting a chance to be happy again is just exciting.
8. Be hopeful
Lastly, be hopeful because no matter how hard the transition may be, no matter how tiring the process of divorce is, it’s definitely still better than living with someone who doesn’t make you happy anymore.
Remember, this is your ticket to a whole new life.
Also Try: Should I Separate From My Husband Quiz
Getting out of an unhappy marriage can be challenging and cumbersome
Just thinking how to get out of an unhappy marriage may look challenging and tiresome at the same time.
After all, divorce is not a joke and will require time and money but you know what? Even if leaving an unhappy and toxic marriage may seem tremendously difficult, it’s all worth the risk and the chance of uncertainty because we all want to be happy and we all deserve to find the one person who we can spend our lives together.
In time, once you are healed and you can say that you are whole again – that person will come to your life.
So, thinking about how to get out of an unhappy marriage? Trust me! It is not that difficult.