When your husband lies and hides things from you constantly in a relationship, it is cause for significant concern as it may be a marker of a problem within your relationship.
In every form of partnership, the best way to improve your relationship is to be trustworthy and trust your love interest. That means keeping the line of communication open and being honest all the time. However, there are many marriages where the husband keeps secrets and lies.
Often, you hear a wife say, “My husband hides things from me and lies.” Or “My husband keeps lying to me.” When this happens, the wife has had enough of her lying husband.
This situation usually starts from lying about small things. For example, your husband may lie about liking your mode of dressing or your taste in music. These “little lies” begin real lies in a relationship. The effect of lying in a relationship is that it becomes a habit.
As such, many wives ask, “Why does my husband lie to me about everything?” You may even see some partners wondering whether they confront their spouse or end things. All these questions are valid, and you deserve the best of answers.
In this article, we will be dissecting the reasons your husband lies and hides things from you or why your husband lies about everything. Also, you will learn the effects of lying in a relationship and what lies do to a marriage. Keep reading to find out more.
What does it mean if your husband lies to you
Before seeking solutions to lying in a relationship, many wives want to know what it means when their husbands lie about everything. Well, your husband may lie to you to protect you from the truth. For example, if your husband realizes that telling something will hurt your feelings, he may withhold the truth.
Similarly, your husband lies and hides things from you to protect your relationship. In young marriages, a husband might not tell you the truth about certain things because he feels it will damage the relationship. For instance, if he did something hurtful while dating, he may hold on to the truth for a while.
Yes! As weird as it is, some individuals see lies in relationships as a norm. That’s because they are not used to being in healthy relationships where you can be vulnerable with your partner. Also, your husband lies because he is used to doing so.
Nonetheless, lying in a relationship should never be encouraged. Remember, the best of relationships are where partners trust each other without a doubt. You need to see your spouse as an equal and someone with feelings. If your husband lies, it may be to protect you from the truth or hide something.
Reasons your husband lies and hides things from you
Another question some married women ask is, “Why does my husband keep lying to me?” There are many reasons your husband lies and hides things from you.
First, it may start from harmless lies or what some call “white lies.” Some men lie to protect you from the truth or because they enjoy it. Mostly, lying husbands do so to protect their marriages.
For example, in the case of a cheating husband, no wife will be calm about it, knowing her husband just broke their marriage vows. With this awareness, your husband may never reveal the truth about his actions. Instead, he may start lying about small things.
Generally, when it comes to lying in a relationship, some false statements are more understandable than others. For instance, your husband may lie about going to the gym or that he likes a particular meal you prepared to make you feel better.
What lying does to a relationship can be irreparable. While some falsehoods are harmless, they may affect the relationship in the long haul. These “small lies” are signs of significant problems in the future. Thus, you must pay attention to them and seek fast solutions.
Should you stay with your lying husband
After identifying some signs of lying husbands, wives often want to know the next step. As such, they ask, “Should I stay with my lying husband?” Indeed, your decision to stay or leave a lying husband depends on you and other things.
If you and your husband have come a long way in your partnership, you might want to slow down. Also, if it feels like your husband’s lies are harmless, you may stay. Nevertheless, it is best not to decide without confronting your husband and knowing why he lies.
Furthermore, it is essential to state that there is no excuse for lying in a healthy relationship. Your partner deserves to know the truth at all times. That is one of the things that makes the relationship thrive.
Make it your duty to discover why your husband lies and hides things from you and communicate about it. From there, you can decide if your lying husband is worth staying with or not. Whichever step you take after finding out about your lying husband depends solely on you.
Therefore, don’t feel guilty for your action. After all, only you know the effect of lying in the relationship.
There are various troublesome reasons why people lie to the people they love. However, it can become a problem when it casts a shadow over the trust in your relationship, it becomes a habit or is a symptom of underlying problems in the relationship.
Here are some reasons why husbands lie to their spouses. Read along and analyze whether one of them can shed light on your situation with your husband.
1. To protect your feelings
One of the common reasons your husband lies is to protect you. As unbelievable as it sounds, your husband may be lying to you to make you feel better. In this case, he has the best intention in mind, but his approach to light is unacceptable to many.
For example, your husband may praise your cooking skills to make you happy, knowing how you might feel if you learned you don’t cook well.
2. He doesn’t want to bother you
Another reason your husband lies and hides things from you is because he feels he shouldn’t disturb you. It happens when your husband deals with personal issues in the office or with his family.
Your husband may feel sharing the truth with you might make you uncomfortable and starts worrying. Such a husband lies only to protect your peace. While it’s normal to feel angry, know that he only wants the best for you.
3. Lying is easy
Well, your husband keeps secrets and lies because it is the most convenient thing to do. Look at it in this way: Which will be better? A lying husband detailing how giving another woman a lift turned to an exchange of numbers and meetups later or saying she is nobody?
Of course, it is easier to say she is a nobody. Therefore, some men lie because it is the easiest thing to do. Usually, this isn’t a habit developed overnight. Anyone who lies unprovoked has been doing it for a long time.
4. He doesn’t respect you
Unfortunately, your husband lies in a relationship because he doesn’t respect you enough. In a typical relationship, the partners should be open to each other. You shouldn’t learn some things about your partner from others.
Your husband keeps secrets and lies because he may not feel you deserve the simple courtesy of knowing the truth. It hurts when someone you love doesn’t regard you enough to let you know the truth. However, it is a sign that you need to reassess your role in the relationship.
If your husband lies conveniently, there is only one explanation for that – he is a consistent liar. Lying is a common immoral act, so if your husband lies about everything, it means he is a serial liar. Everyone lies at one point or the other but knows where to draw the line.
6. He wants to end the relationship
The fact is if your husband lies to you constantly, he doesn’t care about your feelings. If he doesn’t care about your feelings, he has no value for the relationship. At this point, there is one logical explanation – your husband wants to break up with you.
Sadly, some individuals aren’t bold enough to end a relationship, so they don’t look like the bad person. They lie to their partners consistently to provoke them to react.
7. Your husband is scared of you
While it’s not your fault that your husband lies, you may still be the architect of their falsehoods. Although most of us were taught about honesty as children, we have lied to protect ourselves from our parents’ or guidance’s reactions. Well, some adults still exhibit this.
If your reactions to things in the past haven’t been pleasant, your husband may lie to you. This scenario may be entirely to protect yourself, your husband, or another person. If you often overreact to situations without thinking, your husband may lie to you.
8. You are better off with the lie
A typical relationship isn’t easy to pull off as it comes with its baggage, ups, and downs. We all go into it expecting the best, but you may find yourself in certain situations. Such a situation might mean you do not know certain truths about your partner.
People can be sometimes selfish, and if they know the truth will end the relationship, they won’t bother telling you. While lying isn’t encouraged in any relationship, it does happen in some homes.
9. Your husband lies to avoid argument
Lying about small things can sometimes be a defense mechanism for your husband. Most men hate arguments and so lies about little things. In other words, if your husband hates arguments or disagreements of any sort, the easiest thing for him would be to lie and keep secrets from you.
If your husband starts lying about minor things, he may be avoiding a fight.
A typical example of such a situation is when he hangs out late with his friends. If you had fought him for late coming when hanging out with his friends, he would lie the next time such happens. Here, he is simply saving everyone from stress.
11. To make you appreciate them
Your husband may be lying about small things in a relationship to make you appreciate him more. For instance, he can lie about the price of a gift he buys for you to make you appreciate him more.
If telling you the truth about some issues makes your husband feel bad, he will naturally resort to lying. Again, deception becomes easy for some people. For instance, your husband may lie that he won an award at his workplace to make himself feel valued and appreciated.
13. To get a reward from you
If your partner knows lying to you might make you see them in a good light, then they can sprinkle in some white lies.
Once your husband knows you will be happier if they tell you about something that will make you give them more care and attention, they might not feel wrong lying to you.
14. It isn’t the right time
Your husband can start lying about things because the time is not right.
In this case, they will eventually tell you the truth, probably in a few days, weeks or months. However, telling you the truth at the moment might cause some issues. So, they believe it is best to avoid them by telling you a lie.
15. You don’t want the truth
If your husband lies and hides things from you, it could be that you don’t want the truth. Quite a several people will want their partner to be honest with them about certain things. If you had given your partner the impression that you would prefer a lie if the truth hurts, he might start lying.
16. To show he is brave
Generally, men don’t like to appear weak in front of their partners. So, your husband can start lying about small things in the relationship to put on a brave face. For instance, he may tell you he is fine after the death of his friend when he is hurting a lot.
17. He doesn’t feel he is lying
It may seem like everyone understands what it means to lie. However, this isn’t always true. Your husband lies and hides things from you because he doesn’t see them as they are. He believes lying about small things or omitting some details isn’t such a big deal.
18. He doesn’t love you
Partners who love each other deeply aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. They share things, experiences, and events without holding back because they see themselves as the same. If your husband doesn’t love you enough, lying becomes an easy task.
Do you often realize, “My husband lies to me about little things.” If this is your situation, your husband lies and hides things from you to avoid you getting disappointed. Wives often hold their husbands in some regard, and anything that threatens this may break their hearts.
20. They don’t trust you
You may hear some women say, “my husband hides things from me and lies.” In these scenarios, you may be the reason. The truth is your husband keeps secrets and lies because they don’t see you as a safe place for truth. That may be a result of some of your actions in the past.
Lying about some things could signify that your husband is protecting someone. For instance, your husband may lie to protect a family member or friend. Although honestly is still the best policy, if the other person has asked your husband to keep a secret, they may lie to you.
23. Your husband has things to hide
Your husband keeps secrets and lies because he has done something awful. This reason is why many spouses lie to their wives unprovoked. The truth may or may not come out, but they feel safe lying to you.
24. Your husband is cheating on you
One common reason your husband lies to you is that they are having an affair. Even if they have no regard for you, cheating will always be a secret at first. Your husband will feel pressure to lie to protect themselves and to keep the act going.
To learn some signs that your husband is cheating on you, watch this video:
25. Your husband is ashamed
Your husband lies and hides things from you because he is ashamed of his behavior. This could be anything from cheating or hurting another person. Whichever the reason, your husband will prefer falsehood to save his face.
What to do when your husband lies to you
Now that you know the lying husband signs, it is natural to seek a way out. Some women’s first instinct is to leave the marriage. But before deciding whether to leave or stay, you should try strategies to save your marriage.
To begin with, gather some evidence and be sure that your partner truly lies to you. That must have been after he has lied consistently. After this, have an honest conversation with your husband.
Perhaps the first and easy step you can take when your husband lies is to talk to him. Let him know you are aware of his constant lies. Ask why he acts that way. Try your best to stay calm and listen to him when he responds.
Your husband will be caught unawares and may have no choice but to be truthful. Don’t forget to make him feel it is acceptable to tell you anything. That way, he won’t hold anything back from you.
If your husband still sounds defensive, doesn’t take responsibility, or doesn’t accept the lies or hides things from you, it might be time to reassess your position in the relationship.
How to deal with a lying husband
Some women want to know how to deal with a lying husband. Indeed, we have all told some white lies or ordinary lies in the past. Thus it’s understandable if your husband lies and hides things from you once in a while. What is unacceptable is a husband that lies about everything?
Be honest with yourself
If your husband lies about little things in a relationship, you need to ask yourself if you are the cause. If you lie to yourself, overreact, or make your husband feel low, he won’t stop lying to you.
So, look inward and consider if your actions are the cause of his lies. Then, adjust accordingly, so your partner can be more truthful.
Always tell them the truth
As the saying goes, “Be the change you seek.” If you want the truth from your husband, you should lead by example. Don’t make your husband question you every time you speak. Also, be more vulnerable and open so that he can reciprocate.
Lying about little things in a relationship is the beginning of significant deceits. The effects of lying in a relationship or marriage can be devastating. When your husband lies and hides things from you, it makes you question their actions.
It is pretty unhealthy for the relationship, so it is best to seek solutions. You can communicate with your husband about your feelings and why they act like that. If this proves futile, you may seek the help of professionals, like a therapist or marriage counselor. Also, try reading experts’ books that dwell on marriage issues.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.