Why Do Men Lie in Relationships?

The reality of lying is not really gender-specific as the title may suggest. Men and women both lie and essentially for the same reasons.

Worse, their behaviors actually end up being a catalyst to perpetuating lies of the complementary gender.

While men can’t exactly claim from that idea that it is all a woman’s fault that he lies, much of his motivation can be traced back, strangely, to his desire to appease, please or ease the mind of a woman. That is one of the answers to the question, why do men lie.

More important than why do men lie, is the severity of the lies and the quality of communications.

If a man lies about the great price of a t-shirt he bought online or the high cost of a special perfume he bought his girl that actually came from a knock-off shop, it is likely just a softening of reality.

The desire is just to appear a little bigger than the truth. This is why he will brag to his friends to exaggerate his conquests and at the same time announce to a woman that he has a lack of them to appear more serious about his relationships.

Is it really that bad?

A liar, almost inherently, will be someone who is not entirely pleased with themselves, to begin with. Adding #liar seems the more desirable alternative.

Lying may not be a horrible thing if the root of it is not ruthless manipulation.

So, why do men lie if they are nor some scheming manipulators? The so-called white lie is where telling a lie is done with what amounts to good intent.

The moment where lies become a concern is when they become more seriously motivated by fraud or compulsive and malicious motivation.

It is the escalation from innocent and harmless to more blatant, bald-faced lies that can permanently fracture the sense of trust in a relationship.

Note that the suggestion here is that there may be an escalation of lying over time. Not every man in every relationship will turn into a chronic liar falsifying a world of hidden deeds.

The mystery of why do men lie may be unraveled through this explanation. They may waver into fabrications, and learn to seek solace in them as easy solutions, or just depend on lying to get what they want.

Believe it or not, sometimes it may be the woman who coaxes the man into developing the behaviors that lead to lying. This may sound like a bitter pill of truth to swallow, but one of the reasons that suggest, why do men lie. 

This happens when they refuse to believe even the truth and it is easier to falsify a story than to divulge what actually happened.

What is the real cause of lying?

Why do men lie if they were not inherently compulsive liars? A man who was not a liar before a relationship began can morph into one over a simple desire for harmony.

So at a superficial level, why do guys lie? Keeping the peace is an eternal desire in most relationships and when a lie seems less harmful than the truth, the truth may be more likely to bend. 

Once the neutral pathway for lying is created, it is more likely that the lies will be repeated, reused and nurtured. Then the lies are defended with more lies and a perpetual barrier to the truth is erected. That’s also a twisted take why do men lie. 

The quality of communications in a relationship can play a significant role in how lying starts, as well as in how and why it perpetuates and matures.

Whether it is fibbing, real whoppers or white lies, sometimes the spouses wish to communicate empathy, when they may not be feeling it during the interaction.

Struggling to communicate effectively while trying to avoid an argument or a matter from snowballing is one of the reasons men lie to women. 

So, why do boys lie when they know there is every likelihood of being caught? Men who lie in relationships may do it to circumvent complexities arising in the interaction.

Men have a more direct way of navigating in conversation than women, so the pulse of a lie is like pulling the trigger on a gun: it is over in an instant.

For women lying is a masquerade or circumlocution, and if they enjoy the game of it and the feeling of manipulation, lies can be buried in catacombs of truth cleverly disguised or hidden below waves of truth that cover up the deception (major or minor).

The curious lesson there is that women will more likely be suspicious when a man lies because of their expertise in layering. Their nature in simple deception and sugar coating even if it is passive creates an atmosphere and precedence.

A peculiar solution to the problem of men lying may actually in some cases be to just not make a man practice.

The lies that you make him tell instead of accepting the truth may just be leading to the behaviors you prefer to avoid.

What helps in handling lying men?

All lying is certainly not nurtured. So, why men lie in relationships with their spouses?

Narcissists, in particular, will have a predisposition to lie chronically. So do guys lie about loving you and yet make you genuinely believe they do? Sadly, it is more common than you would like to believe.

Reasons men lie about little things when they are narcissists could be to present false images of themselves, confuse you, and also because it is not a lie to them. They are delusional!

Also, the answer to why do men lie to women when they are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder is because they want to hide their lack of empathy behind the facade of charm.

Though the precedent of lying should be evident even in the earlier stages of a relationship, and the repercussions potentially avoided.

Learn to recognize traits of narcissism and pathological liars, avoid them in your personal relationships, and make efforts for strong, truthful communication that does not nurture a habit of lies.

Have a keen eye for when a man lies to you.

Do all men lie? The answer lies in the negative. However, if your intuition tells you that your significant other happens to be one of the men who lie about everything, chances are there is less likelihood of you both winding up happy together in the end.

Also watch:

What to do when a man lies to you?

Not that you know why do guys lie to their wives, how do you handle the deceit?

Controlling what you can help keep lies at bay. Once you know you are dealing with a liar, play dumb, stop playing along with their fibs.

Seek details pretending you are trying to comprehend what they said, chances are they will end up fudging up and misspeak.

Call them on their lies by backing it up with the evidence.

If the lies are serious and the savvy liar is incorrigible, weigh your options and decide to stick with them by deflecting the lies with humor, and seeking third party, expert intervention in form of therapy or counseling.

However, if everything else fails, and if you feel these lies are a form of betrayal, with no scope for recovery from this kind of breach in trust, consider parting ways as the last resort.