In general, there is an idea that men are rough and tough, and emotional events do not affect them like women. Then why do guys go cold after a breakup? Well, the reality is different than you assume.
Men also suffer adversely after emotional events. Like women, men are also human beings and have their emotional consciousness. Breakups surely hurt the emotional well-being of men.
But, the truth is men often deal with breakups differently. In reality, men experience more emotional pain after a breakup. They also need more time to move on from heartbreak.
Since many guys are not comfortable displaying their emotions, they become avoidant. Loss of a relationship is often a common cause of why men go cold suddenly.
Some men turn cold towards their ex-partners even though they maintain cordial relationships with even their competitors. It is not common in modern days. Some men may also become irritated, depressed, or mentally anxious to curb their pain. Here is a detailed account of why do guys go cold after breakup.
Can a person become cold after heartbreak?
Well, heartbreak can be disastrous for anyone. Men are more prone to become cold-hearted after a breakup.
But why do guys get cold after breakup? You can call this a defense mechanism of human psychology. Losing A relationship is like giving a piece of your emotion away.
Men often forge deep bonds with their partners. The habit of sharing every moment with someone special often makes a human happy.
But, the loss causes the person to go through trauma and mental anguish. This can be too much for some people. Such pain can cause different health issues, including anxiety, loss of appetite, hypertension, and even strain on their heart and brain.
A man’s subconscious mind may block certain emotional triggers while battling his repulsive emotions, mental anguish, and pain after the heartbreak. This causes a person to be withdrawn and emotionless for a certain time.
Men often go through such phases to ensure they can move on and start life anew. Modernresearch shows that heartbreak can change both men’s and women’s lifestyles and satisfaction criteria.
For some men, the bitter breakup experience may be why do guys get cold after breakup. The experience can also compel a man to close his emotions to protect himself from such issues in the future.
Well, there are different reasons why do guys go cold after breakup including:
1. He is in the process of moving on
You have seen your ex getting cold whenever you two bump into each other after the breakup. The truth is he is going through a process of moving on.
He was closely tied with you as a man, and the breakup left him shattered. But, after so much trauma, he is finally letting it go.
The whole emotionless phase is a process of moving on from the past relationship. He is busy figuring out new things in his life. You are no longer a part of his present life.
Hence, he does not show any emotion for you and just passes by.
2. He is self-reflecting
So, what do guys do after a breakup? They often go through a long thought process.
He is left alone after the end of an intimate relationship. He probably does not understand what caused the breakup. He is in a deep thought process and is presently reflecting on his behavior.
He may even consider how his partner is moving on with the breakup. Some men also start to self-reflect after the painful breakup. He is asking himself questions to get honest answers about his life.
The process of self-reflection often causes a man to become emotionally withdrawn.
3. He holds grudges against you
Men may start becoming cold-hearted after breakup. Often the breakup causes them to develop bitter feelings for their ex-partner. The pain and anguish of being left alone become unbearable for them.
At this time, they start to have negative feelings about the relationship. Some men may also hold their partners responsible. It often happens when the woman leaves a relationship for better career opportunities or other personal differences.
There are high chances that his partner is a villainess in his eyes, and he has become a cold-hearted person due to being left alone.
4. He doesn’t love you anymore
So, your ex does not show any emotions for you. Probably he has already moved on. Men often tend to move on faster than women despite being emotionally intense.
The man who was once madly in love with you finally has moved on. He now understands that you will not come back to your life and does not hold any feelings for you. He has let you go and will never show the same emotion as before.
6. For him staying friends after a breakup is not a thing
While some people prefer to maintain an amicable relationship with their ex-partner, many don’t.
Such men feel that maintaining a friendship after a breakup is impossible. This thought puts an emotional strain on his well-being. He had feelings for you, and maintaining a friendship may be too much for him.
On top of that, these men do not want their exes in their life to further complicate any situation. Hence, if your ex-boyfriend is avoidant after breaking up, he is not into a casual friendship.
7. He is focusing on a better life
Often, people tend to focus on making their life better after a breakup. It happens to those who were involved in a toxic relationship.
The breakup has set them free. They are now open to looking for new opportunities in their career, personal life, or pursuing their dreams of achieving something they earlier were unable to do.
Instead of lamenting, he now wants to embrace life. Such men will not display any emotion for their ex-partners and prefer to remain happily single. This is also a common cause why guys get cold after heartbreak.
8. He was the reason behind the breakup
So, why do guys get cold after the breakup? Probably he was at fault and does not want to face you.
Often, men who cannot offer sustainable emotional support to their partners become cold after a breakup. They understand their faults and their inability to maintain a healthy relationship.
Such men will prefer to remain cold and emotionless towards their ex-partner. It is their way of apologizing and keeping their distance.
9. He is in a new relationship
Your ex does not want to recognize you at any social event when you two meet. Probably your ex-boyfriend is avoidant because of his new relationship.
He may have moved on and found someone who can keep him happy and satisfied in a healthy relationship. Such men do not want any extra drama and complications in their life.
Their exes are no more important to such men, and they prefer to stay away from their exes. He has someone to give importance to and prefers it that way!
For men who are emotionally avoidant, becoming cold-hearted after the breakup is more common in real life. They were always emotionally reclusive and introverted.
Such men never show their emotions even during their relationship. After the relationship, has ended, their ex becomes a distant memory in their life. They will maintain a cold and distant behavior even if they meet their ex after breaking up.
11. He still loves you
He has let you go but still wants you to be back in his life. He loves you deeply and still is in pain as you leave him. This is why do men go cold suddenly after a breakup.
He still deeply cares for your well-being and checks on you indirectly. But they may not display their feelings in front of you. Instead, they maintain a façade while they encounter you in life.
12. It is his way of winning you back
Why do guys get cold after heartbreak? Probably they want their partner back. Some men often try to manipulate their ex-partner by keeping an emotionless face emotionally. They think this technique will be enough to restart the relationship.
Check out this video to understand whether your guy wants you back:
Do all guys become cold after a breakup?
No, not every guy gets emotional and cold after a heartbreak. Some even prefer to maintain a cordial relationship with their exes, especially if they share a child or professional relationship. Despite being heartbroken, such men understand that a relationship may not work out and embrace the fact.
But, on the flip side, many men often get cold and emotionless after a breakup.
It depends on the person and his psychology. In general, men who engage in constructive things like pursuing a hobby, better career opportunities, or getting a busy move on faster. Such men may even enter a new relationship as they reach that emotional level again.
But men who are too emotional may take longer to move on. They may lament and remain depressed and sad for months before finally letting it go.
There are different reasons why do guys get cold after breakup. They are also emotional beings and may be pained due to the heartbreak and breakup. Each man uses different coping techniques to cope with the loss. While some move on faster, others may need some time.
But, while breaking up, you need to ensure that the breakup with your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband remains amicable and neat. A messy breakup will cause more mental anguish for both of you. Try to do it compassionately and discuss it together to ensure he understands your feelings.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.