Everyone in life is interested in getting their heart’s desires fulfilled and satisfied, and sometimes, the fastest way to bring this dream to reality is if you chase it. The same goes for relationships.
You chase your dream man until he becomes yours, and then what next? Is it right to chase him even in your relationship?
A relationship is not supposed to work in one direction. So if this is your story, stop chasing him and see what happens when you stop chasing a man. The whole process of halting your chase may be difficult, but this would save you from going through heartbreak in the future.
Before exploring what happens when you stop chasing a man, let’s look at why you should not chase a man in the first place.
Reasons why you should not chase a man
There are various reasons why you should stop chasing a man. Note that the reason given below only applies if you do all the chasing in your relationship.
There is no balance to it
Imagine that your relationship was Lady Justice’s scale with everything you put into it on one side and everything you received on the other side. But, of course, with you doing all the chasing, that would be one lopsided scale. No one will likely want to take such injustice.
Your relationship can never be balanced! You do all the chasing and never get chased; you give all the love and attention and never get some in return. Eventually, it would tell on you and most likely affect your mental health.
A relationship is meant to be between two people, a joint effort at building something beautiful, not a one-man show where only one person does all the work. So, you can change your approach to getting a guy you like and see what happens when you stop chasing a man.
When a man wants you, he makes efforts and can even go the extra mile to get your attention. So if he isn’t doing any of this, he’s probably not into you.
He’s simply enjoying the attention you give him without feeling anything for you.
The real you is slowly fading
To make him see you, you lose yourself and start doing things that you normally wouldn’t do or shouldn’t do. You become desperate for his attention, and chasing someone that doesn’t care for you will eventually make the real you fade away.
Desperation isn’t a good look on you or anybody. It gives the other party more power over you.
Chasing him takes its toll on you
You begin to wonder if you aren’t good enough for him or if you aren’t doing enough, or you start to think there is something you are getting wrong. This is bad for your mental, emotional, and eventually physical health. Your self-esteem diminishes, and your confidence with it.
So stop chasing him and see what happens to your mental health and confidence.
Men like to feel accomplished
Men naturally like to be heroes. They like to feel good about their achievements, and when you chase them, they might lose interest. Eventually, a man would lose interest in you because you came “too easy.”
You might be wondering what comes next when you stop chasing a man; does he even feel it? Does it count for something? Let’s see.
When you stop chasing a man, the results are not always so smooth. The odds might not always fall in your favor, but the end product of this action is good. So, it’s normal if this question is on your mind, if I stop chasing him, will he notice?
The answer to that is a strong ‘yes.’
Whether he enjoyed it or not, he would notice a change towards him. If he sincerely wants you, he’d try to change things. But now, the table has been turned because he is doing the chasing this time. He’d still feel the difference if he never cared for you, but he wouldn’t be coming after you.
A man who wants you and loves you is not easily deterred, but a man who is just using you would soon get tired and move on to another unsuspecting prey. So, stand your ground and make him chase you instead.
Now that you have stopped chasing him, what happens?
15 things that happen when the chase is over
When a change occurs, it triggers something into action, whether good or bad. In this case, it is good or good. It is a win-win situation for you. Whatever the outcome is, you are better for it.
1. He starts to miss you
What happens when you stop chasing a man? He starts to miss you.
No more frequent random calls or text messages to catch his attention, and he starts to miss them. He will figure out he enjoyed the attention you gave him and the feeling that somebody out there cared for him.
Don’t chase him and watch him start missing your presence and impact in his life.
2. He values you
When you stop chasing a guy and start caring for yourself, he begins to see your worth and starts valuing you.
He gets a firsthand experience of how you should be treated and realize you will settle for nothing less.
Stop chasing him, and if he cares, he’ll chase you. He knows he doesn’t want to lose you. So, he respects you and chases you instead.
He will step up and start treating you better. He wouldn’t want to lose you and realize he enjoyed spending time with you.
4. You get more you-time
Getting more time for yourself is what happens when you stop chasing a man. With him no longer at the center of your focus, you can now focus on building yourself and your career or interests. So, you stop chasing him and divert your energy into something more productive.
You get to value yourself more and pursue other interests.
When you chase a guy and pour everything into a relationship when the other party is barely interested in you, you give them control. You no longer control your life, and you’re only interested in pleasing them to your detriment.
You gain control of your life when you stop the chase and start to focus on yourself.
13. You get to find out his true feelings for you
Stop chasing a guy, and his reaction will let you know if he cares for you. This will save you a lot of time guessing the nature of his feelings.
Getting to know his true feelings is one of the benefits of halting your chase.
Chasing a guy will take its toll on you. It will affect your self-worth, and the guy won’t feel obligated to respect you because he is sure you won’t walk away.
When you stop chasing him, you’re admitting to yourself and the world that you deserve better and nothing less.
15. He will enjoy the thrill of chasing you
Men love the thrill of a chase! So if he is interested in you, he will show you by showering you with love and attention. His goal is to make you his, and he will take all the necessary steps to achieve this. Not bad, right?
How to go from chasing to being chased
Are you curious about how to stop chasing a guy who isn’t interested in you? How to not chase a man and make him interested in you include;
Get busy with other parts of your life and stop being readily available when he comes knocking
Flirt a little! This should be done in the subtlest manner possible
Keep him guessing at what’s going on with you
Devote time to developing yourself and being a better person. He will notice the change and want you
Steer clear off your phone, make him wonder why you haven’t replied to him or called back
To stop chasing a man may be simple in theory but harder in practice. But when you think about what happens when you stop chasing a man, its benefits should propel you to halt your chase.
If this is still difficult or you feel like you might relapse, it would be advisable to have someone accountable to talk to or schedule sessions with a therapist or a counselor. With this, you are on a journey to a better relationship and emotional life.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.