“Toxic is very relative perception. In fact, it may be less about having a ‘toxic partner’ and more about conflicting survival strategies in the wake of broken or inconsistent childhood relationships,” – McAllister
Here are some warning signs of a toxic person.
1. Toxic people talk more than they listen
A toxic person in a relationship is the one that wants to be heard, they are the ones that want people to listen to them. But as a toxic spouse, they are not calm enough to listen to the thoughts and ideas of the other partner in the relationship.
One of the major signs of toxic people is that they are unable to hold a normal conversation. Their inability and lack of willingness to have open communication are both emotionally draining and detrimental to the relationship.
You might want to give your partner the benefit of doubt, but these are all signs of a toxic person, even if you are in absolute denial.
So, a big red flag to always avoid is when someone talks way more than they listen or if they don’t really listen at all.
2. A toxic person or partner lies to you
Toxic people don’t tell the truth to your face rather they take pleasure in telling lies to you.
They are the ones that will act like things are good but deep down in them; they know they are lying to you.
One of the alarming signs of a toxic person is that they will look you straight in the eye and lie to you without any remorse.
Toxic people do not only lie blatantly but they also:
Create variations from the truth
They are also habitual of omitting critical facts
They cannot be trusted or relied upon for advice or for opinions on the decision you make
Being in toxic relationships can impair your growth and make you second-guess yourself, that’s why it is crucial that you should avoid them if you notice any of these signs of a toxic person.
3. They talk bad or ill of others
Do you know someone that talks badly or gossip about others behind their back?
It is a big red flag when you have someone that talks bad about others at their backs. Toxic people are also insecure people that only make themselves feel better by talking bad about other people when they are not there.
You should be certain that whosoever talks bad or negative about other people at their backs, are going to talk badly about you behind your back.
In summary, toxic people are backbiters and if you notice such warning signs of a toxic person, remember, they should be avoided totally.
4. They don’t take responsibility for their actions
They seem to always blame their own mistakes on others or the situation.
A lack of personal responsibility is a big sign of toxicity.
A toxic person says “he caused It”, “she is the reason I couldn’t meet up”, due to my elder brother’s grandson sickness”, and so on.
Be cautious, toxic people can be quite convincing and persuading.
5. They are selfish
Toxic persons are too busy thinking of what will benefit them alone and rarely showing concern for others.
They don’t care about your wellbeing.
They are selfish and self-concerned. All they think about Is – me, myself and I alone.
Toxic people really don’t have any concern for your feelings and feel no need to take how you feel or how you will feel into consideration. And worryingly, this often demonstrates itself in control.
They care about how they feel, what they want to do, what their needs are, and will happily manipulate and use you to make sure their needs and wants are met.
6. They are dramatic
When you are in a relationship with a toxic person, there is always drama and confusion involved.
Toxic people enjoy the attention and sympathy they get from you that’s why they dramatize some ill-luck stories like they were jumped, their clothes were lost by the dry cleaner, their best friend runs off with their husband and other unfortunate stories.
You will often find that a toxic person thrives on being dramatic, and will dwell and emphasize excessively on any negative experience that befalls them.
They always enjoy the attention, empathy and sympathy they get from you and you should try by all means to avoid them if you notice any of these toxic girlfriend signs or toxic relationship habits in your boyfriend or friend.
It is vital to protect yourself from the heartache or breakage that ensues when you are with someone who engages in toxic behavior. Cutting off people with toxic partner signs is an act of self-preservation.
7. They are negative
One of the big red flags of a toxic person is the negativity in them which can be expressed by the way they think, the way they talk, the way they handle situations and the energy around them.
Toxic people should however not be confused with realists as we all know realists have been falsely tagged with negativity.
Here the negativity involves many factors such as being overly sarcastic, constantly complaining and bugging, whining, and most of all, judging people and situations.
They are pessimists; they don’t see a solution or any opportunity around them.
8. They are always right, never wrong
They always see themselves as the master of all, the one who knows all therefore they don’t admit they are wrong. They don’t admit they have made mistakes rather they look for unrealistic proofs and fake evidence to prove you wrong.
If someone can simply not accept the fact that they are not right all the time, no matter how much evidence or proof you have against them, then it is one of the key signs of a toxic person.
Also, watch this video on dealing with toxic people:
How to detect a toxic marriage
What is a toxic marriage?
Do you look around and find couples in a happy and healthy marriage, while wondering why your marriage is deteriorating your mental being, health, and happiness? This could be because you are married to a toxic person, or your marriage has turned toxic over time.
So, how can you tell if you have a toxic husband or a toxic wife?
Here some signs of a toxic marriage that you must look at closely, as living with a toxic personality is exhausting and chips away at the feeling of wellbeing and happiness.
Signs of a toxic husband or wife include:
Giving backhanded compliments where insults are disguised in the form of confusing compliments, that make you feel bad about yourself or raise self-doubt.
A toxic spouse is extremely controlling. The power dynamics are imbalanced in a toxic relationship.
They are physically, mentally or financially abusive.
They are constantly making negative remarks about you or intentionally saying hurtful things.
They isolate you from your friends, family and other people who are a part of your larger social network.
Your relationship lacks a fair division of labor.
A toxic partner can easily cheat on you.
It is difficult to end a long-standing relationship or marriage with your partner, but it is also important to seek help to protect yourself.
You deserve to be happy and ending a toxic marriage with an unsupportive and manipulative spouse is crucial to your well-being. If your partner is unwilling to seek timely professional intervention, call it quits before it chips away at your soul.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.