Some people have a special gift to lift up your mood no matter how worried or down you may feel. In their company, every problem seems trivial. But, on the other hand, the presence of some people may feel like they have a vacuum machine that sucks up all of your energy and leaves you empty inside.
When you meet those emotional vampires, you may start wondering about what is wrong with you, why do you have so much trouble communicating with them and you try your best to work things out. But, what we all need to do is to stop pushing ourselves into negative situations and just try to trust our own instincts.
Part of being wiser is realizing when something is not good for you and respect yourself enough to keep yourself away from it. If you learn how to recognize toxic people right from the start when you meet them, you may protect yourself from some unpleasant experiences.
Here are some signs that will help you immediately recognize a toxic person and make sure you don’t engage in a toxic relationship.
1. They never share your joy
You are euphoric because you have some great news to share, but they will immediately make a negative feedback to put you down.
You got a new job, but they make a comment on how low the salary is and how they would never work for such a low payment. You let them know how great you feel about finally pursuing your dream by starting your own company, but they say that it is not going to last for a long time anyway, start-ups usually lead to bankruptcy.
2. They are always surrounded by drama
Oh, something really significant is always happening to them, and it is more important than whatever happened to you. It’s always some drama, and you are not even sure whether to believe it anymore.
A kind person who cares about you, will be mindful of your emotions and wouldn’t share every single piece of negativity that happened to them. And they will care enough to ask you back about how you feel.
3. It is never their fault
Whatever it is that they shared with you, the tragic event that happened to them earlier today, they broke their nail or their terrible boss criticized them again, you will notice that it is never their fault.
The world revolves around them, and you will recognize a toxic person has zero self-criticism while they speak. They always find a way to victimize themselves and never accept any kind of responsibility.
4. They bad-mouth other people
If you ask a toxic person about their friends or collegues, they will never have something nice to say about them; it is always some criticism, a sarcastic comment or just plain gossip. Nobody is ever good enough.
If they are speaking so negatively about other people, especially about their close friends, ask yourself what do they probably say about you when you are not around.
5. They are selfish
They don’t care about what you need, what you think about or what makes you happy; you are just there to satisfy their needs.
Even though they are really manipulative, you can recognize a selfish person by some tiny details. They interrupt you when you speak, have no idea what is your biggest dream, they try to control you or fix you, they go offline and don’t text you back, have an excuse whenever you need something, and the list goes on.
6. They lie
If someone tells you one lie, there is a high probability that they will lie again, so stay away from them immediately. Even telling “white lies” or withholding information can be a seen as a form of toxicity in relationship and we really need to be careful and mindful about the ways we allow people to communicate with us.
If someone is deliberately misleading you or telling a lie just to make themselves look better or make someone else look worse, you should probably decide if you want to be around them.
7. You don’t like spending time with them
When they call you up to meet you, and you feel like you would rather be alone or spend some time with someone else, it is a clear sign that you should stay away from that person. A bad vibe or a feeling of emptiness is good enough to tell you that something is not right.
Surround yourself with people that only want the best for you. If you meet a self-absorbed person, remember that you are just one more pair of eyes and ears to them. It is not an honest relationship.
If someone lies, makes drama out of everything, has no self-criticism and intentionally puts you down, you are better off without this person.