Having a crush on someone, you hope that this person reciprocates your feelings.
When you see your crush, when this person talks to you, and when they treat you special, you get butterflies in your stomach.
These feelings are fun and exciting.
But have you ever felt like having a crush on someone, and when they give you special attention, you start feeling uncomfortable?
In most cases, your feelings for this person also fade. If you have felt this, then you might be a lithromantic.
What does lithromantic mean?
One thing that makes our generation ‘cool’ is that today, we can open up with our feelings, identity, and sexuality. We are no longer confined by terms that we know don’t fit what we are.
Our growing understanding may also open some confusion as we want to learn more about new terms, especially if we can relate to them, just like the term lithromantic.
If this term is new to you, then you’re not alone. What does lithromantic mean and what are the lithromantic signs to watch out for?
What is lithromantic, many may ask.
The term lithromantic refers to an individual who feels romantic love towards someone but has no desire of having these feelings reciprocated.
It’s also known as aromantic and apromantic. This term also falls under the aromantic spectrum where a person doesn’t desire to be in a relationship.
You might have signs of being aromantic, but then, you also love, get attracted, and have a crush on someone. This sets the criteria for lithromantic, where you feel romantic feelings, but it’s more in theory rather than real life.
Why is someone a lithromantic?
The lithromantic psychology may still seem confusing. After all, you develop romantic feelings, but then, when those feelings are reciprocated, you start feeling uncomfortable and will lose any interest in developing a romantic relationship.
Is this by choice? Does lithromantic meaning depend on a situation?
Let’s put it this way: a lithromantic does not want requited love.
It might sound weird, but it’s real. While some people will do anything to be loved, a person who is lithromantic doesn’t.
Contrary to some beliefs, lithromantic people don’t necessarily have past hurt or trauma with love or relationships. While this reason is possible, not all lithromantic do this because of this reason.
One reason is that these people might find it hard to connect with someone. Instead, they are more comfortable staying in a fantasy where they are in a romantic relationship.
Some people feel emotionally unavailable after a traumatic breakup, but if you see yourself being okay and happy with no romantic relationship, then you’ve passed the lithromantic test.
You’re a lithromantic, not because you’re afraid, it’s just you don’t want to be romantically involved.
For those who are experiencing trauma or depression from past relationships, therapy can help. In this video, Les Greenberg explains how relationship difficulties can be helped by understanding the core emotion through therapies.
3. You can’t stand hopeless romantics
Romance movies, hopeless romantic friends, and just the thought of it repulses you, then you are definitely a lithromantic. Aside from having no desire to be in a romantic relationship, just the thought of it might gross you out.
No wonder once your romantic feelings are reciprocated, you will feel uncomfortable and uninterested.
4. You are afraid of romance and everything about it
Some lithromantic may not be repulsed at the thought of romance, but they do feel afraid. The thought of opening yourself to another person and being vulnerable is terrifying for you.
Though, not all people who feel this is a lithromantic. Many people feel the same way because of childhood trauma or failed relationships.
5. You prefer platonic relationships
For a lithromantic, you prefer a platonic relationship. Sometimes a lithromantic may feel sexual attraction to someone, and this happens a lot.
It would work if you’re just in a platonic relationship, and they should not reciprocate their affection and attractions. Sounds a bit complicated? It is. Lithromantics can’t take it when their attraction and affection is reciprocated, so this setup may be hard to find.
6. Your romantic feelings fade overtime
If a lithromantic tries to enter a romantic relationship, the level of romance or intimacy that they feel will definitely fade.
Some fade out completely, and others turn into platonic, sexual and physcial attractions. Many people don’t know that they are lithromantics, but notice a pattern when they enter a relationship.
7. You don’t feel comfortable with physical intimacy
If the thought of doing these with a partner and being all romantic doesn’t appeal to you, don’t fret! Lithromantics are just like that.
8. You have been attracted to fictional characters
This is not applicable to all lithromantics, but some find themselves drawn to, attracted to, and even fantasize about being in a relationship with fictional characters.
Some find themselves in love with a character in a television series, anime, or even a book character. If you’re attracted to these characters, it’s obvious that they can’t reciprocate the feelings, thus keeping the lithromantics feelings within their comfort zone.
Lithromantics may seek sexual partners rather than romantic partners. Some lithromantics prefer a no-commitment relationship because they can satisfy their desires without being open about their feelings.
While this may work for lithromantics, there’s a chance that their partners will fall hard and will want to commit. This is the end of their relationship because lithromantics choose not to cross the line from sexual to romantic.
13. You have fallen in love with people who are unavailable
Not all lithromantic will fall for unavailable people, but some do. Some lithromantics fall in love with a person who’s already married. This way, this person won’t be able to reciprocate.
While you have no intention of making the other person reciprocate their feelings, there is still a chance that you can form a sexual connection.
In these cases, it’s better not to act on your attraction.
14. You can’t really pinpoint it
Why aren’t you interested in falling in love and being in a relationship? Do you have a reason? If not, then you might be a lithromantic.
You don’t know the reason, you can’t describe it, but you know you’re not interested in a romantic relationship.
15. You don’t feel lonely being single
You’re single and have been for a long time, but it doesn’t bother you. In fact, you don’t feel lonely at all. Crushing from afar seems to be the perfect setup for you.
Can you see yourself being like this? Well, you might just be a lithromantic.
Do you think you might be a lithromantic?
If you are, then that’s okay, and there is nothing wrong with being one. You’re not weird or cold, you’re being you. There are different sexual orientations and knowing who you are is the best gift you could give to yourself.
Just as long as you are happy and comfortable, then embrace who you are and raise that lithromantic flag.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.