Scratch that. Love is a beautiful thing. It swoops in when you least expect it and takes you off your feet.
Love/dating can feel surreal until you discover that you are dating a married man. This discovery may leave a huge question in your mind; “Will he leave his wife for me?” You may look for signs he won’t leave his wife for you.
If you are currently in this position and wondering what your next steps should be, this article would reveal something interesting. This article will show you the telltale signs he won’t leave his wife for you.
If he manifests these signs in the relationship, you may want to take a few steps back and truly assess your situation. This way, you can decide the best course of action for yourself.
Will a married man ever leave his wife for another woman?
Against your better judgment, you may have seen yourself falling and falling hard for a married man. Usually, you may not know that your male partner is married at the start of these relationships.
However, when those cards get played in the open, you may find yourself at a loss for what to do.
Most times, two scenarios may play out in your mind.
A part of you insists that you shouldn’t be in the relationship. This part of the mind hinges on morality and argues that being in these kinds of relationships is not only stressful but can create long-term challenges for both yourself and your married male partner.
Another part of you may want to turn blind eyes to all the dangers/telltale signs you may have seen so far, and just ride the waves of this relationship you are enjoying.
However, before deciding to call the relationship quits, you must look for signs that he won’t leave his wife for you.
But there isn’t exactly a one-way answer for this question; “will he leave his wife for me?”
20 signs he won’t leave his wife for you
If you have been dating a married man who has promised that he would leave his wife to be with you but hasn’t followed through with his promise, you may want to pay closer attention to a few things.
Here are a few signs he won’t leave his wife, at least not for you.
1. He has told you so
If he has let it slip during your conversations with him that he wouldn’t leave his wife for you, chances that he will are quite slim. Again, if he hasn’t ever brought up the topic of leaving his wife, he may not want to do that.
2. He wants you only because of the physical aspects of things
If the totality of your relationship with him is physical (you only have sex when he’s with you, and never get around to just spending time together or doing things that intimate couples do), you may want to come to terms with the fact that he may not leave his wife.
Take a cue from how he talks about his wife and current family. Does he talk about them a lot when you are together? Does he talk about them in a fond way (maybe with a cute smile on his face and with soft, loving tones)?
4. He spends more time with her than he does with you
If he spends more time with her (significantly more time with them) than he does with you, it could also be a sign he won’t leave his wife for you. This cue is rather subtle, and you may not notice it if you don’t keep your eyes open.
If he always recoils and puts up an emotional wall between both of you, or if there’s a communication gap, it may be a sign that he isn’t yet prepared to leave his wife – at least not for you.
8. He doesn’t prioritize you
If you take a critical look at the relationship and discover that everything is a priority (especially his wife), while he doesn’t place much value on you, it could be a sign that he won’t leave his wife.
Does his wife, career, job, family, and friends take more time and priority than you do? You may want to cut your losses and move on with your life before you get hurt.
9. He has children with his wife
Will he leave his wife? Will he leave his wife when he has children with her already? Although it may be a difficult pill to swallow, the chances that he would do this are quite slim.
Having children with her is not a guarantee that he would stay with her, but it makes the relationship somewhat more difficult to walk out of.
If he has children with his wife, you may want to take that as a sign he won’t leave his wife.
10. You’re not his first external fling
If he has a history of having affairs with people he’s not married to, it is a sign that breaking off with the married man would be your best course of action. Take some time to reflect on how he must have ended the last affair he had.
He may have made these promises to his past lover without keeping them. If this is the case, you may want to start looking for ways to cut your losses, so you don’t get hurt when the chips are down.
11. You aren’t his only lover at the moment
One of the biggest red flags that would show you that he wouldn’t end up with you is if he has affairs with other people at the moment.
Having other people aside from his wife and yourself indicates that he isn’t likely to leave his wife and end up with you.
In love with a married man? Will he ever leave his wife for me? Watch this video.
12. He would choose his wife over you
One of the signs he won’t leave his wife is that he would choose her over you, any day and at any time.
If both of you (his wife and yourself) have the same need simultaneously, you will find him solving the problem for his wife first. He may come back to help you solve yours, or he may not.
If this happens a significant number of times, you may want to start thinking of breaking it off with the married man.
13. Lies and disappointment characterize your relationship
Lying and deceit can tear almost all relationships apart with the speed of light.
As a result, no relationship would blossom on a bed of lies. If he makes a habit of telling you lies, even for the small things, it could be a sign that he doesn’t want to settle with you.
Consider calling the relationship off and cutting your losses if you notice that he has a habit of telling lies. Please, do not try to make excuses for him.
14. His future plans mainly involve his wife and current family
As much as he may try to run away from conversations about any future with you, one sign he won’t leave his wife is that he talks about a future that still includes them.
Does he talk about relocating with his family? Setting up a business for his wife? Taking vacations with them?
Does he talk about the long-term plans they have made? If yes, ending your relationship with the married man may be your best bet.
15. Your relationship is mostly a secret
Another sign that you may soon get dumped by a married man is that your relationship with him is mostly a secret. Take some time to carry out a simple analysis.
Do the people that matter in his life know about you? Do his friends and close allies know that he’s together with you, or are all the times you’ve spent with him those few moments that he sneaks out and up to you?
If you answered ‘yes’ to the latter, you might want to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship.
Does he still hang out with his family (and wife especially)? Take them to public events and show them off to the people he meets? Does he go with them on vacations but spend little to no time with you? Yes?
That may be a sign he won’t leave his wife and family just yet.
17. Ask him ‘why?’
This point may seem a bit unrelated, but if you’re asking the ‘will he leave his wife for me’ question, you must ask him ‘why.’
What does he say when you ask him why he wants to leave his wife? Does he have any tangible reasons for this? Here’s the thing. There’s every possibility that he will come up with many reasons why he wants out of his marriage when you ask him.
The excuses may range from ‘no longer being happy in the marriage’ to ‘news about how evil his wife is.’
While there are many sides to this coin, it is necessary to spend some time with yourself after these conversations with him. For the best results, do not rush into making any decisions until you have thought things through.
Ending a relationship with a married man who wants to have you on the side may be a vital step toward getting yourself together. Once you’ve seen the signs he won’t leave his wife for you, it is only logical that you begin looking for how to exit the relationship.
He may put up some kind of resistance when you try to do this. Here are a few reasons why he won’t let you go either.
1. Comfort and relief from a toxic marriage
If he is indeed in a toxic marriage, there’s every possibility that you are how he lets off steam. If he comes to you to feel better, he may not be inclined toward letting you go either.
2. Validation and the feel-good effect
If he is a narcissist, it is possible that he just keeps you around for the sake of having you there. If this is the case, he may not let you go anytime soon, even though you’ve clearly seen many of the signs he won’t leave his wife for you.
3. He likes you and enjoys having you around
This may be the most genuine reason why he may not want to let you go immediately. If he truly loves you and likes being with you, he may want to push back when you try to end the relationship with him.
What to do when he won’t leave his wife
There may not be an easy answer to this. However, your next course of action after you’ve seen the signs he won’t leave his wife for you would be to call it quits.
To be successful with this, you must know what to say when breaking up with a married man, make him see things from your perspective, and endeavor to step away from the picture before you get too deep into the relationship.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.