It is often said that humans cannot thrive in solitude of mind, body and spirit. Therefore engaging in happy relationships is an important part of a fulfilling life. Being in relationships is a necessary part of healthy and successful living.
A marriage today might have been a relationship yesterday. The couple starts off dating, courting and then getting engaged to each other before finally getting married. Getting married to your loved one may look like a dream come true, whereas in some situations it may end up being a challenge to one’s body, mind, spirit and soul. Many people hide their dark emotions and feelings in their marriage and fear to reveal that they are living an unhappy married life.
Love is the very basis, the bedrock and the foundation of marriage. Without it, a marriage is lifeless, unhealthy and should be put to an end. Marriage is a relationship that is meant to be enjoyed not endured. If you’re not exactly blissful and happy in your marriage, you are not alone. “Only 60 percent of people are happy in their unions” according to the National Opinion Research Center.
Marriages require efforts
It might be extremely difficult to tell if you are in an unhappy marriage, especially for those who have been married for a very long time. It takes a lot of effort to build a happy marriage but it takes only a little recklessness and carelessness to make the marriage unhappy and unhealthy.
The major cause of an unhappy marriage is often incompatibility. This means you are not willing to accept your partner for whosoever he or she is but rather you want to change his or personalities to suit your lifestyle. NO! It shouldn’t be done in a relationship at all. You should rather accept your partner for who he or she is or else you are heading for an unhappy marriage. Also, compatibility is something you have to work towards. It is not possible to achieve it all at once. So the most important thing required for a happy marriage is the readiness and grit to make it work. Compatibility is not a ready-made thing; rather it’s a process. You have to work on the compatibility between you and your partner continuously. And if you are not ready to adjust, then marriage is not meant for you.
Lack of intimacy
Another cause of unhappy marriage is lack of intimacy among the couple. Intimacy is that feeling that grows between the couple in a slow and steady manner. The attraction to each other is considered as a measure for it. Once you start loving your partner,intimacy will develop on its own between the couple and it will act as a connection on your marriage life. So lack of intimacy among couples is one of the reasons for unhappy marriages.
Also watch: How to Find Happiness in Your Marriage
Also, infidelity goes a long way in making sure a marriage is unhappy, unhealthy and toxic. It is a clear indicator of an unhappy marriage if you don’t trust your partner anymore. You are heading for an unhappy marriage once you start doubting the words and actions of your partner. If your partner just changes the truth when they don’t like the way a conversation is going, it is an indicator that you are engaged in a marriage with a partner who is not trustworthy. When your partner shifts the blame for his or her actions to someone else or some sort of flimsy situations, it shows you are already in or you are heading for an unhappy marriage. Once you get married and start living together as a married couple, being honest to one another is one of the most important factors which decide the future of your marriage. Therefore, it is the duty for each couple to maintain the trustworthiness and honesty to each other. If either you or your partner starts to lose the trust in the other one, then it will surely lead to unhappy marriage life.
Many often keep an affair outside home, be it a mistress or a mister outside the marriage. The happiness of keeping an extra marital affair only remains until it is a secret. Once the secret gets exposed, you are totally lost in your married life and you are heading for an unhappy marriage experience.
Having unrealistic expectations
Lastly, having high expectations is also a major cause of unhappy marriages today. We have a lot of expectations when getting married or even being in a relationship and thinking about our partner and try to plan out things, keeping in mind the criteria, desires and expectations you have in mind. It is good to have some expectation, desires and fantasies in a marriage but you should never expect too much from your partner, as it may not go as planned thereby leading you to disappointment.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.