10 Ways to Compromise in a Marriage While Keeping It Healthy

Sometimes, it feels like balancing your needs and your partner’s can be a bit tricky, doesn’t it?

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that compromise in a marriage means one person always gives in, but is that really the case?

What if there’s a way to meet halfway, where both of you feel heard, understood, and respected?

Relationships aren’t about winning or losing but about finding that sweet spot where both of you can grow together.

So, how do you handle those moments when you don’t see eye to eye?

Maybe it’s about giving a little but also staying true to yourself—without losing sight of the bond you share!

What does compromise mean in a marriage?​

Compromise is a controversial word in itself. Since it is a little vague, it might lack boundaries. Some people might also feel that compromising in a relationship or marriage is not right because it can lead one person to do what their partner wants all the time.

However, compromises in a marriage are not about being at the receiving end all the time.

So, what is compromise in a marriage?

Marriage is about compromise, but that does not mean it has to be one-sided. It is made up of things like trust, compromise, mutual respect, and more. Marriage and compromise may go hand in hand since compromise can be linked to your partner’s happiness and well-being.

Compromising is a necessary part of the success of a marriage.

For two people working together as a team, each member must give and take. Once you commit to a relationship, you must consider the wants, needs, and happiness of your spouse.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, points out,

Why is compromise important in a marriage? 5 reasons

While some may believe that compromising is not part of a healthy relationship or marriage, others may argue that it is indispensable to be with someone for the rest of your life.

Here are 5 reasons why to compromise in a marriage​ , asserting that marriage is somehow about compromise in a healthy way.

1. It helps find a middle ground

Marriage compromise is all about coming to a middle ground with things. It is not unusual for partners to want to do things differently. However, finding a compromise helps you take both perspectives or opinions into consideration and find a way that works for both of you.

Some people complain that “marriage is about compromise,” but if you don’t compromise, you might not agree on anything in your marriage. This leads to denoting a negative meaning of “marriage is about compromise.”

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, states,

2. Helps you keep an open mind

Compromising in relationships or marriages also has a positive impact on your interpersonal or even professional relationships.

It helps you see other people’s perspectives, understand where they are coming from, and form your opinion or decision with more information at your disposal.

3. Helps you change positively

Marriage is about compromise since compromising in your marriage helps you look at things in a different light, and it can help you incorporate healthy and positive changes in your life overall. 

You are likely to make a lot of space for changes and different opinions in your life and your mind, which can turn your life around.

4. Improves communication

Communication is a very important pillar of a healthy relationship or marriage. Compromising in a marriage helps you improve effective communication, which has a positive impact overall.

You can tell your partner what you are willing to do for them – but at the same time, you can draw healthy boundaries that you can tell them about, and they are likely to understand. Such communication can improve your marriage exponentially.

5. You let go of control

Once you make your relationship a priority, you can realize the meaning of “marriage is about compromise.” One thing that really helps in marriages and relationships is letting go of control.

While you should have everything managed and organized for peace in your marriage, it is important not to hold control too tightly.

Compromising can help you let go of such control and feel more liberated in your relationships and life.

What are the common challenges of compromise?

Compromise in a marriage can be tough, right?

Sometimes, it feels like no matter how much you try, it’s hard to find a balance where both of you are satisfied. It can be especially challenging when one person feels like they’re giving up more than the other; it starts to feel unfair.

Then there’s the fear of losing yourself in the process—how do you stay true to your needs while meeting halfway?

And let’s not forget how communication can get twisted, making things even more complicated.

It’s a lot to juggle, but it’s all part of learning how to grow together, isn’t it?

10 practical tips on how to compromise in a marriage

Now that you have an understanding of why compromise is important in a marriage, where should you draw the line when it comes to compromise in a marriage?

Here are 10 tips on how to compromise in a marriage without harming yourself or your relationship.

1. Communicate your wants and needs

Make use of the “I” statement to fully communicate with your spouse and tell them what you want and need in your relationship.

For example, you may say, “I want to live in the city because it is closer to my work area,” or “I want to have kids because I am ready and financially stable.”

It is crucial that you speak about what you want without making any assumptions about your spouse’s wants and needs. You must also avoid attacking your spouse with demands.

2. Have a listening ear

How do you compromise with your spouse?

First, listen.

Once you have expressed your desires and explained why that is important to you, give your spouse a chance to respond. Do not interrupt them, and allow them to speak. Try to pay full attention to what they are saying.

Once they finish responding, try to repeat what they said to show that you understand them. But try to do that without any sarcasm and make use of a steady tone. Remember that you and your spouse are discussing and not arguing.

3. Weigh your options

Deriving examples of compromise in a marriage is a thought-provoking task. When you want something, try to weigh and consider all your options. In this case, make sure to draw out all the conclusions. Take a good look at the budget you can spare and the cost.

Make sure to consider options as an individual as well as a couple. However, remember, in the end, you will have to make the decision as a pair and not as if you are single.

4. Place yourself in your partner’s shoes

Try to truly understand your spouse, no matter how difficult it is. Especially when your own needs and wants cloud your judgment.

It is important that you step out of your own mind for some time and consider your spouse’s feelings and opinions.

Think about how your partner will feel, giving in to your opinion or why they have a different opinion than you do. When solving issues, try to remain empathetic.

5. Be fair

For compromise to work properly, it is essential that you remain fair. One person cannot always be a doormat in the relationship; in other words, one spouse cannot get their way with everything. You will have to be fair with your decisions.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, states,

Whatever decision you decide to make, ask yourself, is it fair to put your partner through it?

6. Make a decision

Once you have considered your options, considered your spouse’s feelings, and decided to remain fair, stick with your decision.

If you have been honest with the decision, then finding a good solution for both of you will be no problem.

7. Find a middle ground

Finding a middle ground is synonymous with making a compromise. List out your non-negotiables in the situation, and ask your partner to do the same. You can try to compromise on things you can, and they can do the same. 

You both will find yourself coming to a middle ground already.

If there is something that is on the list of non-negotiables for both of you, you can talk about it, and maybe if things are done one person’s way this time, they can be done differently the next time.

8. To each their own

This is interesting advice when it comes to compromise in marriage. While it may not sound like that much of a compromise, here is what it means.

For instance, if the conversation concerns how the dishes are done or what time of day they are done, the task can be completed according to the person doing it.

You might prefer to do the dishes before you eat your food, while your partner might like to do them as the last chore of the night.

In this example of compromise in marriage, the two of you choose to do it in your own time, depending on whose turn it is.

9. The benefit of the doubt

Sometimes, we are unable to see the other person’s perspective clearly and, therefore, do not want to budge from our opinion.

When you cannot find a compromise, giving your partner the benefit of the doubt may not be such a bad idea. Give their way a try, maybe for a day or a week, depending on the situation. 

You may find something positive in their perspective, and if not, you can circle back to the situation and find a solution again.

10. Trust the one who has expertise

If you are the better cook, and the compromise is about something related to food, it would be a good idea to listen to you, and let you have your way. 

Similarly, if your partner is an expert on cars and the decision is about that, it would make more sense to let them have their way.

Can a marriage survive without compromise?

It’s a tough one, isn’t it?

The thing is, relationships are built on give and take; without that balance, it’s easy for resentment to creep in. If one person always gives in, or worse, if neither is willing to budge, it can feel like the bond is slowly breaking apart.

A marriage needs both partners to feel valued and heard, and compromise is a big part of that.

Without it, are both people truly happy or just holding on?

Finding a middle ground isn’t always easy, but it’s often the key to making things last.

5 things you should not compromise in marriage

“Marriage is about compromise.” – You will hear some people say in a negative tone. However, there are certain things that just cannot and should not be compromised.

While compromise is important in a relationship, as mentioned above, there are some things you cannot compromise on, even when it is about your relationship or marriage.

Here are 5 things you should not compromise on in a marriage, and draw a line when it comes to these.

• Your individuality

“Marriage is compromising?”

Not on your identity, at least. You are you for a reason. There are things about you that make you, you. They are all part of the package that you are – the person your partner fell in love with in the first place. 

Your individuality is one of the things you cannot compromise on in your marriage. 

• Your family

We all have a love-hate relationship with our families. We might not always like them, but we always love them.

The family is what stands with us through the toughest of times, and therefore, your family is one of the things you should not compromise on, even in your marriage. 

In this case, “marriage is not about compromise.”

• Your career

People may assume that their career is one of the things to compromise on in a marriage. Individuals, especially young professionals, might struggle to choose between their careers and their relationships. 

Career and relationships are both important, and one has to find the right balance between them. However, this does not mean that one should compromise one’s career for one’s marriage.

• Your friends

Your friends make up for a support system you need and want, irrespective of where you are in your marriage or relationship. Friends are a reminder of everything that is right in this world.

Ensure that your relationship or marriage does not require you to compromise on your time with your friends.

Watch this video where Steph Anya, LMFT, explains how managing friendships in adulthood can be challenging and what you can do about it:

• Your hobbies and interests

One of the things that people in marriages can end up compromising on is their hobbies or interests, apart from things they do with their partner. 

With so much to do – work, household chores, spending time with family and friends, quality time with your partner, etc. – we tend to forget about our own interests and hobbies that make us happy.

Compromising isn’t always unhealthy!

It’s easy to think that marriage is all about finding happiness for ourselves, right?

But the truth is, a healthy marriage is about both of you finding happiness together. It’s not just about one person’s needs; it’s about learning to meet each other halfway.

Compromise can make a world of difference—it helps create balance and keeps things growing. And hey, if you ever feel like you need some extra support, couples therapy might be a great option.

It’s okay to ask for help when you need it; after all, your relationship is worth investing in!