How to Lose Feelings for Someone: 17 Mindful Suggestions

Sometimes, letting go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. – Spiritual leader and author Eckhart Tolle

Although the numbers aren’t precise for men, this suggests that you may have to figure out how to lose feelings for someone a few times in your life. 

Letting go of someone you deeply care about can feel gut-wrenching. You find yourself replaying memories, holding on to every last hope, and feeling lost in a mix of love and longing. 

Whether you’ve broken up or are trying to move on from unrequited love, losing feelings for someone can be an overwhelming challenge. You might wonder, “How long does it take to get over someone?” or even question if it’s possible at all.

Can you lose feelings for someone you love?

It’s a debatable topic. If you have broken up recently, you’re probably asking yourself if it is possible to move on from someone you loved wholeheartedly. 

The simple answer is “yes, you can.” While it is difficult to let go and get over someone you love finally, it is not impossible. 

Your recovery timeline, process, and story may differ from others, but you can get over an ex and still experience the best love has to offer you in the future. 

When is it important to let go of someone you love?

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face. But sometimes, it’s also the most important one. 

If love is no longer bringing you joy but instead leaves you feeling lost or overwhelmed, it might be time to take a step back. Let’s break down when letting go is truly necessary and how you can begin to heal.

When love becomes a source of pain

A relationship should uplift and inspire you, not leave you feeling drained or anxious. If you constantly feel neglected or like you’re losing yourself trying to make things work, it’s time to consider how to lose feelings for someone you love. Love shouldn’t feel like a burden.

When hope is holding you back

Are you clinging to the idea that things might change, even though deep down you know they won’t? Learning how to stop having feelings for someone often begins when you recognize that hoping for change is keeping you from moving forward. Love yourself enough to walk away.

Choosing yourself again

Losing interest in someone you once loved doesn’t mean failure. Instead, it’s an opportunity to rediscover yourself, create new experiences, and make room for someone who values you as you deserve. Letting go can be the start of something new.

How to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you 

There’s nothing more depressing than being hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way you do. 

Staying awake all night, pining for the attention, love, and fellowship of someone who is probably having a good time with another person, is painful. If you have ever been there, you know that it is not an experience you would want to have again. 

Here’s the sad thing. You can’t wish your feelings away. To eliminate them, you must be strategic and follow the right steps. Here are some effective tips to help you stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back. 

It would help if you had your energies intact to get your life back on track.  

Is there any bright side to losing feelings and letting someone go?

Losing feelings and letting go of someone you love is rarely easy, but there’s a surprising silver lining. 

It opens doors to new possibilities, deeper self-discovery, and a chance to find true happiness again. It can be one of the most liberating things you’ll ever do.

• Learning how to lose feelings for someone means releasing the burden of constant worry and heartache. You regain emotional clarity and finally feel lighter.
• When you figure out how to lose interest in someone you love, you start focusing on your needs, desires, and passions again. It’s a chance to reconnect with who you truly are.
• Letting go allows room for healthier relationships. Knowing how to stop feelings for someone can help you create space for a love that reciprocates your effort and makes you feel valued.
• Moving on builds emotional strength. You learn how to face challenging emotions, adapt, and become a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.

17 tips on how to lose feelings for someone you love 

Now that you are seriously trying to figure out how to lose feelings for someone, here are some powerful tips for setting you on the right path. 

1. Understand that it may take time 

Think back to the time when you fell in love at first. It took time for you to realize that you had fallen for them, and it also took some more time to accept them into your life. 

With that in mind, it may not be practical to think that your feelings will vanish overnight just because you said your final goodbyes. 

Letting go for real may take time. Getting over a breakup almost immediately might be a sign that you weren’t that much into the relationship after all. 

2. Identify and acknowledge your feelings 

On your journey to suppressing your feelings for someone, you may be tempted to stuff your life with many other things and activities to avoid the pain associated with accepting your emotions. 

Admitting you are hurt and in pain doesn’t make you less human. Instead, it is a sign of strength and a token of your willingness to get out of that sullen emotional state as soon as possible. 

Don’t rush into a work frenzy or start looking for a rebound because you’re hurting. More often than not, those can end you in more trouble. 

3. Don’t put all the blame on yourself 

It is easy to put all the blame on yourself when someone you loved just walked out of your life. So, you may begin to say things like, “he wouldn’t have left if only I were slimmer,” or “she would have loved me if I were richer.” 

These are limiting statements and can have long-term adverse effects on your self-esteem. Instead of looking at it from that sullen perspective, consider making a list of why you think your ex left you and rise to the challenge instead. 

If you think they took a walk because they don’t think you’re posh enough, take it upon yourself to improve your social skills. If you think they left because you’re poor, work on fixing your finances. 

In any case, remember that their exit wasn’t all your fault. They left because they wanted to. 

4. This is the time for self-care 

Self-care prioritizes your mental, physical, emotional, and all-around health. When you are in self-care mode, the only thing that truly matters is making yourself happy and surrounding yourself with positive energy. 

While practicing self-care, you should take yourself out of places that remind you of your ex. According to Christiana Njoku, a Licensed Professional Counselor, 

Taking care of yourself and maintaining a positive vibe is the best gift you can give to yourself, even in a relationship. It is one way to show you prioritize your peace of mind. 

While practicing self-care, you should take yourself out of places that remind you of your ex. 

If you can move out of the house (or have them move out if you live together), see your favorite movie at the cinema, eat at your favorite restaurant (even if you think the bills are a bit high), or take that trip you have always wanted to go on. 

When you care for yourself, you pamper yourself. You allow yourself to heal from the pain and emotional trauma you might have experienced as a result of figuring out how to lose feelings for the one you loved. Practicing self-care is an important part of letting go of the past. 

5. As much as possible, avoid rebounds 

More often than not, rebounds will crash and burn in no time as they aren’t formed on the deep bonds of loyalty, trust, and love that determine the strength of other relationships. 

When you jump into a rebound relationship, you tend to project your pain and insecurities onto your new partner. Hence, you may be cynical, judgmental, or unable to connect with them as much as they want to connect with you. 

These emotional challenges can cause the relationship to be more like a roller-coaster of toxicity. As you figure out how to lose feelings for someone, please take “romantic relationships off your to-do list for sometime. 

6. Instead, focus on forming strong platonic friendships 

Away from your relationship life, there are other powerful friendships you must build if you’ll live a successful life. One way to stop having feelings for someone is to nurture other valuable relationships in your life. 

Can you remember all those close friends you went MIA on when you started seeing your last heartthrob? This may be a good time to schedule a meeting with them and catch up. 

The important people in your world will play a major role in helping you heal from all the emotional trauma you may be dealing with. Surround yourself with the right people, close friends and family alike.  

7. If necessary, consider talking to them about your decision 

“Talk to them about your decision to pull away from them?” you may be asking. 

Yes. Consider doing this. 

Considering that you were in a relationship with them, there’s every possibility that they may feel the same way you feel about them. 

Pulling back suddenly may leave them hurt and confused. To prevent this, consider talking to them about your feelings and telling them why you have taken your stand.

8. Stop stalking them 

One of the things that would come up when you decide to get rid of feelings for someone is the sudden desire to be abreast of everything going on in their lives.

Under the guise of looking for the newest stories from your favorite travel blogs, you’ll find yourself scrolling through their Instagram page or almost dialing their number on a warm Tuesday morning, even when you know you should be working. 

As you try to lose feelings for someone and let them go once and for all, resist the temptation to stalk them. No matter how interesting their lives suddenly look, focus on taking care of yourself first. 

Stalking them will only leave you with a feeling of wistfulness you don’t need now. 

9. Work on yourself 

Now that you have detoxified and let go of the negative emotions you’ve probably had to deal with, your next focus should be on yourself. Work on improving your career by becoming a more goal-oriented person. 

Work on your finances. Work out and build a stronger physique. Gain a new perspective. 

You need to become the better version of yourself if you want to enjoy everything the future has in store for you.   

For six simple self-care tips to become a better you, watch this video:

10. Practice mindfulness and start journaling 

Journaling is one way to keep track of your thoughts, let go of steam, and jumpstart your journey back to emotional stability. 

It is okay to feel disconnected from the rest of the world for the first few weeks after you decide to move on from an ex, but this is where mindfulness and journaling come in.   

Practice meditation. It allows you to control your thoughts and be more productive. Again, journaling will help you identify negative thought patterns and set you on the right path toward complete healing. 

11. Learn a new skill 

Picking up new skills at this point is critical. 

New skills will occupy your time, give you something more productive to do (than fuss over what could have been), and help you feel more in control of your life. 

Think about all those skills you wished you had before. Now that you’re not spending much time with a partner, you probably have more time to learn new skills. Don’t hold yourself back.

12. Consider joining a support group 

It is easy to beat yourself up and feel like you are against the world until you join a support group and meet people who may be dealing with the same (or similar) challenges. 

A support group will give you the emotional strength you need to overcome a breakup. 

Their stories will inspire you to keep going until you have attained the state of healing you desire. 

13. Travel 

One thing about traveling is that it gives you something else to fuss over. When you are overwhelmed with new sights, sounds, and cultures, you may not be thinking so much about the exit of an ex from your life. 

Please list the places you’ve always wanted to visit and consider ticking them off one at a time. 

A little change of scenery can make all the difference, even if you aren’t yet ready to travel halfway across the world. 

14. Consider art 

If painting and drawing have always held some allure for you, this may be the time to explore those interests. 

Art is one powerful way to express yourself and let go of pent-up emotions. Consider enrolling in an art class for this.

15. Get professional help 

If you have tried all we have discussed and you’re still unable to lose feelings for someone, you may want to consider getting professional help. 

A therapist will help you sort through your jumbled emotions, provide a safe space to bare your heart, and guide you on your journey to healing and self-discovery.

16. Reflect on what you’ve learned

Take some time to reflect on what the relationship taught you. What did you learn about yourself, your needs, and your boundaries? 

When you understand the lessons, it becomes easier to figure out how to get rid of feelings for someone while also gaining wisdom for future relationships.

17. Set new personal goals

Focus on setting and achieving new goals that are completely unrelated to the past relationship. This can be career, fitness, or even hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. 

Redirecting your energy into personal achievements will help you move forward and create a positive vision for your future, making it easier to let go.

Letting go for a brighter tomorrow

Letting go is never easy, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. 

As tough as it might seem right now, learning how to lose feelings for someone opens up a world of new possibilities—one where you are stronger, wiser, and ready to embrace love that’s truly meant for you. 

It’s time to take the reins and build a future where your happiness isn’t tied to anyone else but you. Remember, the journey is yours, and each step forward, no matter how small, is progress. 

Continue exploring this topic

Talk to our Marriage.com AI Relationship Coach

Chat with me, ask questions and get help

Start Chatting

Marriage.com AI: Your Relationship Guide

Talk through what's on your mind.

Automated

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

How can I lose feelings for someone?

What are some mindful suggestions to let go?

AI guidance only - not therapy. In crisis? Call a helpline or Find a Therapist

Terms

Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

Marriage.com Assessment

What Help Does Your Relationship Need Most Right Now Quiz

Reviewed byJennifer Schulz, LCSW

Backed by relationship science and evidence-based psychology, this assessment helps identify the area of your relationship that deserves the most attention right now, whether things feel strong or slightly off. Research shows that even healthy relat...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Jan 23, 2026

Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

Take the Quiz Now