Do you always feel, that you are doing all the work in your relationship? Are always walking on eggshells and doing the things they want?
Do your texts go unanswered and you get calls only when they need you? If your answer to these questions is ‘yes’, then, there is a good chance, that you might be in a ‘one-sided’ relationship.
Hold on a minute! Don’t panic.
The most important thing to realise, is that you have already put in massive amounts of effort, into making something work for you two. At this point, you need to understand your happiness matter too. I know they have been mean to you and forced you to think that their happiness is the only important thing in the world.
You don’t need a magic formula to fix your situation. It is the time to drop that unhealthy baggage and take a step towards your happiness.
This is how you do it:
1. Acceptance and grief
You must realize, that there is nothing special between you two, and it would never be so. Unless, they share the same sentiments, you host for them.
Accept, that whatever has happened until now, has hurt you a lot and it is not your fault at all.
It is time for you to move on.
Make sure you grieve. You just lost someone, who you thought was important. Heartache needs time to heal, cry a little, laugh some more, and vent it all out.
2. The talk
It is considered healthy to have a conversation about your feelings and clearing up your position. After you have accepted the status of your relationship, you need to tell the person – ‘no more’.
There is a possibility, that this could be an awkward conversation to have, but, it is simply a way, to reassure yourself of your importance.
3. Choose your battles
Talking about the emotional upheaval you face, can be excruciating.
So, make sure you focus on one problem at a time. Start with asking yourself, why you feel what you feel, and take it on from there.
But remember, the key is to choose what you decide to tackle. Make sure you don’t bring in past fights while discussing your current hurt and pain.
4. Put on your armor
Make sure you have a support system and a sense of belief in yourself.
You need to understand that, whatever has happened, is not your wrongdoing. Yet, people tend to be hurtful, when they don’t want to admit they are wrong. Hence, they will do a lot of hurtful things, after you decide to cut them out of your life.
Take all of it head-on, with a level head and smile. It doesn’t hurt to have a friend.
5. Distance and strategy
Make sure you keep an adequate amount of space between you and the person, socially. This will create a barrier, keeping you away from unwanted complications.
There is no need for a relapse.
You gave away, a lot of attention and efforts for that person, now, you need to divert the same into constructive things. This will keep you engaged and away from thinking about them, way too much.
6. This is the war you simply cannot lose
It is not easy, but that does not mean you should give up! It’s your life.
You deserve to be happy. There will be a lot of emotions coming your way. Make sure you take them head-on. This is the war you simply cannot lose. Appreciate every single person that keeps your company in this difficult time.
Every time you feel depressed, talk. Do something that makes you smile. Concentrate on buildings other relationship. More importantly, focus on yourself.
Bit by bit, all the hurt will chip away and you’ll emerge out of this mess, as a new person, a better person; your war will be won.