How Much Time Should Couples Spend Together

It might be difficult for a relationship to grow and blossom when partners ignore quality time. They might have good intentions to spend time with each other, but they could have tight schedules preventing them from doing so. This is why some struggle to spend quality time with their partners.

Dionne Eleanor, Relationship & Empowerment Mentor, says

Quality time is not about how much you spend together but how deeply you connect in that time.

In this piece, you will learn about some answers to the question of how much time should couples spend together. Also, you will be able to apply some tips on how to spend quality time with your partner.

Why is quality time so important in a relationship?

Sometimes, when a relationship starts, both parties are always committed to making it work by spending much time together. However, as the demands of life become more challenging, it can affect the quality time between both parties. 

Dionne Eleanor adds,

Investing time in your relationship is investing in your happiness.

This is why couples need to be more intentional about creating quality time to make their relationship work. Here are some of the reasons why quality time is essential in a relationship.

1. It improves intimacy

Dionne Eleanor points out,

Intimacy flourishes when time is dedicated to understanding one another.

Spending quality time with your partner helps you know more about them. You will gain more insight into their character and personality, which will help you understand them when unfavorable situations arise. 

Sometimes, one of the reasons why couples find it hard to resolve conflicts is because they don’t really know each other.

If you know your partner well, you can even make excuses for them when they do something you don’t like. Similarly, you will get to spend more time with them improving your romance and sex life in general.

To understand more about the connection between quality time and intimacy, read this research by Jasara N. Hogan titled ‘Time Spent Together in Intimate Relationships’. This study reveals the implications for Relationship Functioning. 

2. It helps to improve communication

You and your partner can achieve this by spending quality time with each other to enhance communication in your relationship. When you are with your partner, you will be able to discuss some of your thoughts and ideas, some of which can make the relationship better. 

If you intend to stay with your partner long-term, spending quality time with them will help you bond better.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship

3. You create beautiful memories

Another benefit of couples spending time together in a relationship is that it is a good chance to create beautiful memories. You and your partner can engage in fun activities you will always look back on and smile.

Memories are the treasures of a shared life; they deepen love.

, Dionne Eleanor adds here

Sometimes, one of the ways to resolve conflicts in relationships is to reminisce on the good times spent with your partner. Doing this might give you a more constructive approach when resolving conflicts, and it would help you understand the question of how much time should couples spend together.

4. It builds trust

If you are not spending enough time together in a relationship, it might be hard for your partner to trust you. They might begin to think that someone else in the picture is taking your attention.

It is crucial to spend enough quality time with your partner so that they can see how committed you are to the relationship. 

When there is no trust, it might be hard to steer it in the right direction because one party does not believe the other person truly loves and cares about them.

In Claire Robin’s book titled How to Build Trust in a Relationship, you will learn how to make trust the backbone of your relationship. This book is an eye-opener for anyone who wants their relationship to thrive. 

5. It helps to relieve stress

Life can be stressful, and navigating it alone might be challenging sometimes. However, moving through life with someone you love may get easier. Spending quality time with your partner can help you to feel less stressed.

You can share your burdens with them, and they will show you their unflinching support. You and your partner can leverage quality time to keep your mind off some things stressing you.

Related Reading: 10 Ways to Have Stress-reducing Conversations With Your Partner

How much time should couples spend together

The importance of spending quality time with your partner cannot be overstated. However, no clear-cut rule gives a specific time on how much time couples should spend together. The amount of time depends on both partners and their schedules.

Both parties should be willing to make things work and compromise on some occasions to spare some quality time to be with one another. The absence of quality time in a relationship may end the union faster than it started because much time hasn’t been invested in making the love life function effectively.

10 ways to spend some quality time with your partner

When you spend quality couple time with your partner, you are showing them that they matter to you and you value each second spent with them. Understanding how much time couples should spend together begins with knowing how to go about it. 

Here are some ways to spend relationship quality time with your spouse.

1. Go for social gatherings together

We live in a fast-paced world where people find it hard to create time for the people they love. When it comes to how much time should couples spend together, you can spend a couple of hours attending a social event.

You might not have to attend all the social events in your schedule. However, select a few to allow you to enjoy your partner’s presence. You and your partner may not have all the time to discuss, but it feels good creating social moments and memories with the love of your life.

2. Work out together

Another way to spend quality time in a relationship with your partner is to hit the gym together or exercise at home. When you work out with your partner, the two of you are likely to be more consistent because you will encourage each other to keep up.

The question of how much time should couples spend together can be answered from the context of spending a few hours in the gym together. This workout time will allow you to be with your partner amidst your busy schedule.

Related Reading: 9 Benefits of Working out with Your Partner

3. Organize date nights regularly

Couples are more likely to experience happiness and fulfillment when they spend enough time with each other. You can achieve this by having regular date nights. One of the hacks to building a solid and healthy relationship is to create time for date nights in your schedule.

You can discuss with your partner to pick a routine that works, but ensure it is regular. With date nights from time to time, you can understand more about how much time should couples spend together.

4. Go to bed at the same time

While this might be quite impossible for some couples to achieve, you and your partner can make this work. You may have different schedules preventing you from going to bed together, but it is important to make it a habit. 

When it comes to how much time should couples spend together, you and your partner can go to bed arm in arm and reconnect with each other before you sleep. Going to bed with your partner creates a sense of affection and security when you’re in each other’s arms.

5. Plan a getaway

While you and your partner work hard to meet your career or business goals, it is important to take time for breaks. This means that you have to create a work-life balance where you can pay good attention to your relationship.

You and your partner can plan a getaway where you would focus on each other and shut out any work-related duties. 

Before going on such outings, ensure you have done proper delegation of work or completed your tasks so that you won’t have to treat deliverables while having a nice time with your partner.

6. Go on a movie-watching spree

When it comes to how much time should couples spend together, you may be able to understand more by undergoing a movie marathon with your spouse. You can list some of the movies the two of you have always wanted to watch.

Seeing movies together will help you bond better and create interesting memories. You will spend time discussing what happened in the movie, and you may be surprised to see your partner beyond your present knowledge of them.

7. Get intimate with each other

You can spend quality time with your partner when intimate with them. One of the crucial hacks to happiness and success in relationships is when couples pay attention to their sexual life. 

It is essential not to allow work and other pressures of life to affect the intimate time meant for you and your partner.

While you schedule time for other important activities, ensure that you create time for intimacy. When you are intimate with your partner, the feel-good hormones are released, which makes you and your partner happy with each other.

Related Reading: How to Establish Emotional Connection During Sex: 10 Tips

8. Engage in new things together

On how much time should couples spend together, you may have a broader perspective when you do new things together. If you or your partner have any interest or hobby on your bucket list that you’ve wanted to try, you can do it together. 

You might reconsider doing some hobbies alone by including your partner because it is another opportunity to spend quality time together.

9. Prepare meals together

When it comes to couple spending time together, cooking meals together is another avenue. You and your partner can work towards preparing meals together and having an in-house date. Doing this promotes collaboration, teamwork, and bonding between the two of you. 

After preparing meals together, there is a good chance that the two of you will begin to look forward to the next one.

10. Be interested in what your partner is saying

One of the mistakes that couples make when having conversations is they only hear what each other is saying; they barely listen. When your partner has something to say, ensure you listen to them and are interested in the conversation.  

Be sure to pick up the important nuances of the discussion so that you can use them to ask salient questions or make good contributions. When your partner notices that you are interested in what they have to say, they respect and love you more. 

It also makes them more open and honest with you.

Watch this video on how to really listen to your spouse: 

Some more questions

In this FAQ section, we will explore how much time couples should spend together for a healthy and happy relationship, taking into account individual preferences and circumstances.

• How many nights a week should couples spend together

Couples are expected to spend most of their nights together. However, either of them might have some urgent commitments which could prevent them from spending each night together. 

Also, when it comes to how much time do couples spend together on average, both parties should be willing to go all out and create enough time for both of them.

• How much alone time is healthy in a relationship? 

Even though some couples may desire to be with each other all through the relationship, it is quite impossible. Couples may need to take some time apart to be invested in themselves. 

Sometimes, you may have to give your partner some space so that you can think and engage in some of your interests or hobbies. However, be careful not to neglect your partner for a long time to avoid sabotaging your love life.

Rachel J.H Smith in her study titled It’s About Time, delved into the connection between stress and quality time in relationships. The research examined how quality time plays a pivotal role in reducing stress in couple relationships. 

Quality time for a quality relationship

After reading through this piece on how much time should couples spend together, you now see that quality time is essential to a successful relationship. 

Here, Dionne Eleanor mentions

Love is a journey, and time is the vehicle that takes you there.

If you don’t know how to spend quality time with your partner, you can explore some of the ideas in this article or modify them to suit your taste and schedule. You can also consider going for couples therapy or marital counseling to keep your relationship or marriage on the right track.