5 Signs You are a Dominant Partner in a Controlling Relationship

With the passage of time, it may seem like you are losing control of your relationship while your partner is the one controlling the relationship. The dominance of one partner can be healthy if it doesn’t take a toxic turn. 

However, it can create a major imbalance and get suffocating if your partner is way too dominant.

But don’t you stress over it?

What is a dominating relationship?

A dominating relationship is where one partner is controlling the other partner because of their dominant personality.

Such a person tries to control every aspect of the relationship, which also includes how the other person reacts or feels.

Are you a dominant partner in a controlling relationship?

So, what is the meaning of a dominating person? What does dominant mean in a relationship?  

Well, being dominant is a personality trait of having a decisive role in the relationship. The dominant partner in relationships holds control, and they sanction most of the ongoings of the relationship. 

A marriage or relationship is never 50/50. It is always 100/100, with both partners going the extra mile to help it last. Having a dominant role in a relationship comes with a lot of responsibility. 

Related Reading: How to Get Out of a Controlling Relationship

5 types of dominant relationships

There are various types of dominant relationships based on who holds power in the relationship. Know them below:

• Dominants and subordinates

In a submissive and dominant marriage or relationship, there is always one dominant partner holding charge of things in the relationship while the other partner is the submissive one. Here, the roles are defined, and there is no relaxation of roles.

• Master & slave relationship

In this type of relationship, one partner consensually submits to the other partner. This is different from the dominant and subordinate relationship because of the intense level of command by the dominant partner. The slave doesn’t voice an opinion in such relationships.

Related Reading: 4 Glaring Benefits of Dominant-Subordinate Relationships

• Male-led relationship

In such relationships, the dominant partner is the man. Here, the woman plays a submissive role, and the man defines the relationship.

• Female-led relationship

As opposed to the male-led vanilla relationship, the female is the dominant partner or the leader of the relationship. She makes most of the decisions in the relationship and sets goals.

• Equals

In this kind of relationship, both parties hold equal power. They both make decisions and run the relationship. Being equal is one of the signs of a healthy relationship, and it leads to a long-lasting commitment. 

5 symptoms of a dominant partner in a relationship 

Read on, as this article will guide you towards dominance in relationships. Below are some signs of dominance in a relationship:

1. They are independent

You may not know this, but independence is the fundamental sign that shows your partner that they do not control you. They don’t depend on their partner to take them for groceries or to complete other daily needs. 

Instead, they go out by themselves and get things done. This way, the partner will know that they are able enough to do the chores without them.

Also, they go out with your friend circle whenever it is feasible and do not require their partner’s permission for that.

Related Reading: Why Is It Important to Be Independent in a Relationship?

2. They seek what they deserve

This is one crucial tip to having a dominant personality in relationships. Never, I repeat, never settle for anything less than what you deserve. 

If you think something is not going the way you want, walk away. It is the right thing to do and show the partner that you need to be treated only the right way.

3. They do not stay quiet

Didn’t like something your partner did? Tell them! Being dominant in a relationship means confronting your companion. This is the way to go. Also, if there is a doubt about something, clear it up and be honest with them.

Restrain from bottling up your emotions and feelings inside. Moreover, if you want something, ask them straight away and do not hesitate.

Also Try: Quiz: Are You a Dominant or Submissive Partner?

4. They act confident

A dominating personality is upright and confident. They speak up for themselves. They do not let their partner have control over them. If something goes wrong, they disclose it and show their partner that they are as equally powerful as them.

They never stay under their foot but climb up their heads. They do not hesitate to speak up about your needs. Also, do not hold back in any argument. Express your opinions freely.

5. They do not always stay available

They go out and enjoy life. They do not hang up on their friends only because their partner wants them with them.

They show dominance by letting them know that life does not only revolve around this relationship, but they have a life outside of it too. They do not always need a partner in order to have fun. Some time alone is also vital.

How to deal with a dominating partner?

At times, it can get extremely difficult to live with a dominant partner. Check out these steps on how to deal with a dominant partner:

1. Maintain your boundaries

Keeping boundaries is a crucial act in a relationship. One of the ways to tackle a dominant partner in a relationship is that you do not always give in to your partner’s demands because this will make you seem needy to your partner. 

For this, first, you need to know your own limits. Then, never let your partner cross any of it. They should know that they will not get off easily with you.

Related Reading: 15 Must-Have Healthy Boundaries In Marriage

2. Stay strong

Never let your emotions carry you away. Speak up for what is best for you. It is important not always to take the emotional path but to stay firm and talk the matter out like a mature adult. This way, your partner will realize that you cannot be controlled emotionally.

3. Stand with your words

As the saying goes, 

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Never backtrack from your words.

To handle a dominant partner, do what you said. If you promised something, fulfill it. Your partner must be aware that you are honest with what you say. You will appear as the weak one if you do not stay firm in your words.

4. Be honest

Finally, you need to be completely fair to your partner. If anything goes wrong at your end, tell them and apologize.

In the video below, Jennah Dohms shares the need for true transparency and accountability. It leads to strength, and if we all practice this, it reduces the fear of the future.

Do not hold it back as they may then find you hard to trust. Also, this may prevent your partner from having any advantages over you. So, always have the upper hand in your relationship.

Related Reading: 11 Secrets to Enhance Transparency in a Relationship

Wrapping up

Being a dominant partner or being with such a partner can be tiresome, and it is fairly obvious. So, check for the signs of a dominant partner and make sure you create the right balance in the relationship with both partners having a say.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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