20 Best Relationship Books for Couples to Read Starting Today
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Key Takeaways
Building a healthy and happy relationship requires work and compromise.
Past relationship failures, bad habits, and poor judgment will often stand in the way of experiencing the true bliss that comes with genuine love.
You may need to change your behavioral patterns and to do so, you’ll need a bit of assistance in a form of relationship self-help books.
Looking for good relationship books and need to narrow your choices of best relationship books?
Some books are much better than others and the following list of best books on relationships will acquaint you with some of the top reads.
1. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Gary D. Chapman’s work is one of the best relationship books.
He develops an interesting concept – we speak different languages in love, which keeps us from understanding each other.
There are several love languages identified through the book and examples are provided to illustrate each of the concepts. A journal and a questionnaire also rank among the useful tools that Dr. Chapman has envisioned to increase understanding and self-awareness.
2. The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
For a long time, The Relationship Cure by John Gottman has ranked most popular among best-selling relationship books. There’s a simple reason why – Gottman is a scientist who bases his conclusions on evidence.
Through his work, Gottman even claims that predicting the success of a relationship is possible. Ranked as one of the best relationship books it features a five-step program aiming to improve all kinds of relationships. The success it had in helping people pushes this book as one of the top books on healthy relationships.
3. Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship
Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship by Sarah Mirk is based on interviews that the author conducted with an array of people from all parts of the world on successful relationships. Each chapter consists of an interview, as well as a list of relationship tips based on the experience of the interviewee.
It’s also interesting to point out that the interviewees hold quite interesting views of relationships. From single individuals to those in open or polygamous relationships, everyone has their fair share of information to contribute.
4. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel is perceived as quite controversial, but her work focuses on several arguments worth exploring. Her written achievements are among the best relationship books.
Mating in Captivity is probably Perel’s most prominent work. It explores marriage and relationship problems that stem from couples being together for long periods and eventually getting used to each other.
The author tries to answer questions like why do people stop connecting romantically, why do they quit communicating in a few years.
Through examples, Perel demonstrates what it takes to keep a relationship fresh making this book one of the most important relationship books for couples.
5. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
This book by John Gray has turned into an absolute classic as far as relationships are concerned.
Some see it as a cliché, but the book does have a lot to offer. It shouldn’t come as a surprise it is one of the best-selling relationship books.
The book focuses predominantly on gender and the main differences between men and women.
Building a successful relationship should focus on understanding and overcoming these differences. While this may sound like a severe generalization, the book does offer some interesting food for thought.
6. He’s Just Not That Into You
Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo’s masterpiece has found its place among best relationship advice books.
It focuses on male signals and how these are being interpreted by women. While this may seem like a book that’s tailored predominantly to single women, men and people in a relationship could also benefit from the information.
Knowing that a guy doesn’t like you too much will help you foster healthy relationships and get out of those that simply don’t have the potential to grow in the future.
Men can also learn how to stop sending false signals that may mislead ladies.
7. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Another success of John Gottman based on research and clinical experience.
Filled with worksheets and exercises, this book is one the best relationship help books. It can aid you in becoming aware of and change your habits so you can enjoy a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
The seven principles for making marriage work are a culmination of his many years of exploration and work in the field of relationships.
Together with his colleagues he interviewed hundreds of couples and followed up annually to see how their relationships progressed, for up to 20 years.
His studies were conducted on more than 3000 couples.
8. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller offer a scientific explanation for the differences in the way people journey through relationships.
For some this experience is effortless, while others bend over backward to make them work. Their research relies on Bowlby’s attachment theory.
Levine and Heller offer help in understanding what are the attachment styles of you and your partner. Once you have identified them you can use their advice to build a stronger more lasting connection. A video can help you understand the terms a bit better:
9. Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt’s creation is one of the best books about love with 4 million copies sold.
In this best-seller, the focus is on sharing practical steps you can take to improve your relationship. They base their guidelines on Gestalt, Behavioral therapy, social learning theory, and Neuroscience.
There is another interesting fact that makes this one of the best relationship books for couples. It was written by a husband and wife.
Since the authors are married, you will enjoy hearing both perspectives in learning how to become more positive in daily interactions. Additionally, if you are looking for some free material check out their website for special offers or search for “relationship books free”.
10. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs
With 2.1 million copies sold, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’s book is one of the best-selling self-help books for relationships.
He postulates that the driving needs of men and women are different as are the ways they perceive love. Women need to be loved unconditionally, while for men respect seems to be the core need, he argues.
As one of the best relationship books, it is rooted in the biblical passage Ephesians 5:33: “But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands.”
11. Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
This great Christian book is in the category of best books about relationships selling in over 1 million copies. Gary Thomas invites you to consider becoming closer to God through your marriage. He brings up a possibility that God intended the marriage to be holy and a doorway to becoming closer to him.
In this book, the author offers not only means of becoming happier but also becoming more aware of God’s presence, and fueling the spiritual life by all the behavior of the couple.
Compared to other books about relationships this author provides insights from Scripture, Christian wisdom, and examples in today’s marriages.
12. I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships
Michael S. Sorensen offers means that can help you deepen the connection and improve relationships in your life. In this 3-hour, conversational read, he talks about the importance of validation and how to use it to better all relationships in your life.
Validation, he talks about, is defined as the recognition of emotions. When people feel heard and understood they are more likely to listen to you and become more open to finding a solution.
Therefore, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that happily married couples validate each other 87% of the time, compared to divorced couples who did this 33% of the time.
13. Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship
This bestseller, written by Neil Rosenthal, illustrates how to recognize the cracks in the relationship when they first appear. Also, it describes actionable strategies in resolving them depending on how big of a gap has already been created.
Author Neil Rosenthal bases the theory and practical guidelines on his 37+ years in private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Starts with a quiz on ways you are potentially sabotaging your relationship, along with exercises on expanding the connection you have and what to do to increase romantic intelligence.
14. The Science of Happily Ever After, What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love
Dr. Tashiro provides an entertaining and witty manner framework for singles in pursuit of soulmates.
What if you had only 3 wishes? What characteristics of your partner would you choose? The first thing to leading a happy life is a smart choice of partner.
Since our decision-making skills are flawed when affected by emotions, Dr.Tashiro explains how to choose wisely through accessible tips. He shows through insightful real-life stories how to get your happily ever after.
15. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
There is a good reason why Esther’s name is twice on our list of books about love and relationships.
She provides a daring new perspective on modern relationships opening discussions about topics so universal, but so poorly researched such as infidelity.
She has traveled the world working with couples hurt by infidelity and worked with them towards using that experience to overcome it as a couple and individuals.
Offering ways to deal with the heartbreak following adultery she helps people heal and find a way to overcome the hurt.
You can even hear the stories from actual anonymous couples she worked within her Audible Original podcast Where Should We Begin? This is by far, the best relationship book for couples dealing with infidelity.
16. Anxiety in Relationship
Do you feel there are 3 people in your relationship – your partner, you, and your anxiety?
Fear and anxiety affect your relationships through the strategies you employ to avoid what you fear the most.
Oftentimes we provoke what we worry about the most. This book helps you uncover your limiting beliefs, move past them, and break up with anxiety.
This book is helpful for singles too, as it provides a framework for reclaiming your confidence and establishing a different connection in the future. Employing different strategies is possible and this book offers lessons and exercises to get you there.
17. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
There has been a lot of research done in a desire to develop Viagra for women, however, the result is lacking. The pill can’t exist since women’s sexuality is closely tied to many important factors. The most important one is how she feels about what happens in bed.
Self-image, stress, trust are crucial for women to achieve full sexual expression. Dr. Emily Nagoski helps you understand those factors so you can enjoy intense pleasure.
“This is the best book I have ever read about sexual desire and why some couples just stop having sex, and what they can do about it. Come As You Are is an absolutely necessary guide for all couples who want to understand the ups and downs in their own sex life. It is a must-read!”
—John Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
18. No More Fighting: The Relationship Book for Couples
Looking for books on communication in relationships and how to end fights?
In this book, the author offers guidance on how to move past common problems and tackle issues that spark the fights.
Additionally, he provides instructions on how to communicate effectively during fights and to hear each other so they don’t escalate.
Through illustrated real-life examples, weekly exercise, and motivational stories this book will lead you through understanding each other better, fighting better and fairer, and addressing the most important issues in your relationship. The author offers a framework that will help you accomplish all of the above in just 20 minutes per week.
19. The Art of Loving
Erich Fromm, a psychoanalyst, and social psychologist offers a perspective of love as an activity/attitude, rather than just a feeling. In this bestseller, he encourages the capacity for love and helps people develop it on a deeper level.
The author argues that learning to love, like other arts, demands a commitment to growth and happiness, and a commitment to give rather than receiving.
20. The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
Being married to a person with ADHD can be challenging and oftentimes feel lonely. You agree on something, but they never follow through.
You have to remind them and it is labeled as nagging. This book found its place among the best relationship books due to the guidelines in understanding the struggles of ADHD of your partner and discovering ways to make it less disruptive.
Based on years of personal experience and research, this book illustrates the patterns each couple with an ADHD partner finds themselves in at some point.
Through descriptions of actual couples, it portrays their solutions to ADHD struggle. Additionally, there are worksheets and exercises to help you navigate through issues and improve communication.
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