So, you’re in a serious relationship with a beautiful woman and planning to get married soon. Men and marriage is a heady concoction.
Besides the natural excitement, there is also a certain level of apprehension, and sometimes you catch yourself thinking –
“How on earth am I going to pull this off?”
“I wish I had a step-by-step ‘user manual.’”
Well, the good news is that these kinds of feelings are pretty normal, and for most people, marriage involves a massive leap of faith, which will probably be the steepest learning curve of their lives.
If a man is ready to factor in this piece of wisdom and still forge ahead, they have found a definite answer to the question, “When is a man ready for marriage?”
So relax and enjoy the ride because this is your unique journey. But there are some pre-marriage tips for men that you might find helpful.
15 important pre-marriage tips for men
Start your marriage off on the right foot by following these pre-marriage tips for men.
1. Make sure she is your top priority
If you are going to get married, you need to be willing to make your woman the top priority of your life. Pre-marriage tips for men include prioritizing your partner and giving her unprecedented importance in your life.
Your marriage relationship will be more important than any other relationship you may have. This will mean setting aside time and resisting the rising tide of busyness that inevitably accompanies day-to-day life, especially after you are married.
On the list of “what are the most important things in a marriage,” you will find “Never stop dating, no matter how long you are together” figuring prominently.
Remember those unique things you did together when you first fell in love and keep doing them and more.
Regular one-on-one time together is what will keep the bond between you strong and healthy. And don’t assume that she knows how much you love her – tell her at least once daily.
As one of the crucial pre-marriage tips for men, remember to pencil in regular date nights with your spouse to keep the passion alive in your marriage.
2. Don’t underestimate a woman’s intuition
Speaking of what she knows and doesn’t know – a woman’s intuition is legendary, and it is a thing. Pre-marriage tips for men that you deserve to know is – a woman is naturally skilled at tapping into the power of her instincts.
She can’t “read your mind,” but she may feel and sense things deeply, including positive and negative things. She might often tell what is in your heart, whether you mean ill or healthy, despite the words you do or don’t use.
So if you say something with an angry or impatient tone, regardless of whether it is accurate and logical, you may find that she has wilted like a flower under the scorching sun.
Similarly, if she feels warm acceptance and approval from you, she will no doubt respond accordingly like an opening rosebud. If you find her reactions confusing, ask her and be willing to listen as she explains what kind of effect your words and behavior may be having on her.
3. Emotional safety is almost everything
Emotional safety means allowing you to experience and express your feelings without being judged and censored.
Emotions stuffed down into the basement of your heart tend to fester and surface in a very unpleasant manner later in life. So it is much better to face them and deal with them as they happen.
The wonderful thing about being in an emotionally safe relationship is that you can help each other to process your emotions – both the joyful ones and the sad and difficult ones.
So, what are some of the best bits of pre-marriage tips for men?
As the man in the relationship, you should set an excellent tone of safety and acceptance by allowing your woman to share her emotions freely.
As soon as you say, “You should not feel that way,” you will have shattered the emotional safety. So, one of the things to do before marriage for guys is learn to emotionally validate your partner’s feelings and make her feel heard and seen.
Very few come from a perfectly healthy and functional family of origin.
Most people’s relationship with their parents while growing up had some significant bumps along the way, which might leave us with lasting consequences and scars.
One of the things to know before marriage is a thorough understanding of your partner’s background. In a premarital relationship with a woman, you can learn much from observing her background.
What kind of relationship does she have with her mother? Is it a healthy relationship if they are close, or is the mother controlling and overbearing?
Think about how this may affect your relationship after you are married. Does she relate well to her father? How has her relationship with her father affected her general view of men?
5. Taking the lead is very sexy
Most women find authentic leadership in the relationship very attractive indeed.
What makes a man ready for marriage is stepping up and taking responsibility for his part of the marriage and the household.
Don’t leave all the decisions and burden of the daily chores up to her.
When you take ownership of your values and role in the relationship, she will be proud to partner with you and gladly give you her respect and love.
This kind of lead-taking is not overbearing or controlling but rather a matter of setting a great example and always looking out for her safety and wellbeing.
If you surrender your lead role in the relationship, you may find that she might become bossy as she resents the extra load she has to carry because you refuse to. This is one of the pre-marriage tips for men that every prospective husband needs to hear.
6. Be patient and forgiving
Remember this pre-marriage advice for men – nobody is perfect, not even you!
So be patient with your lady; she makes mistakes just like you do and is also learning along the way like you are.
Don’t allow your temper to flare up and lash out at her because the resultant damage caused will not be worth the split second of satisfaction you may have felt at the time.
Building her up will bring more satisfaction and blessing in your marriage than tearing her down.
Don’t hold onto grudges and bring up past mistakes. Instead, learn from them and move forward together hand in hand.
Watch this video that explains the difference between healthy and unhealthy love.
7. Let her be herself
The last thing you want is for your future wife to become a clone of yourself.
You are both unique individuals, and your woman’s individuality attracted you to her in the first place and vice versa.
So make it a point to remember this important pre-marriage tip for men – always encourage her to be herself, pursue her interests and dreams, and do the things that make her feel and look her best.
Before marriage, one thing to consider is recognizing the importance of giving her time and space to go out with her friends or just some time to be alone when she needs that.
When you give her the freedom she needs, you may be amazed at how much closer she feels to you and how it will immeasurably strengthen your relationship.
By being mindful of these pre-marriage tips for men, you will be setting a solid foundation for a healthy marriage.
These pre-marriage tips for men give you the best chance at relationship happiness and successful marriage, and they also help you enjoy a great rapport with your significant other.
8. Break your bad habits
Many men have habits that women do not exactly appreciate. These habits may include gambling, drinking, and clubbing. While they are okay if you’re single, they may be a big no-no for married men.
Gambling may become a gambling disorder, compulsive gambling, or gambling disorder. You do not want to have this if you’re in a relationship with a remarkable woman.
If you don’t get rid of these habits, tying the knot when you’re unprepared for the journey may be a time bomb. Your spouse may not appreciate you disappearing for two consecutive nights to visit a club in another city or coming home drunk often.
The explanation “I’ve been doing this my whole life” will not work. It may worsen because your spouse may think you cannot break your habits.
9. Get smart about finances
Before saying “I do,” you must ensure that your first years of marriage will be great and not remembered by unnecessary stress caused by a lack of money.
I also had this problem, and during the first two years of my marriage, I had a lot of stressful days that I could’ve avoided if I had been a bit more careful.
To make a long story short, I lived beyond my means and ignored the things like financial planning. As a result, I had many financial issues that caused a lot of stress, which, in turn, prompted some fights with my new wife.
I’m not alone. CNBC reported that almost three-quarters of Americans are experiencing financial stress, and a quarter is feeling extreme financial stress.
Financial preparation is quintessential for marriage preparation. So, please learn from this mistake and do some financial planning before marrying to ensure that the first years spent with your wife are lovely.
10. Don’t keep score
Some men tend to assess their relationships with a “bookkeeping” model. It requires them to do something nice only when their partner has done the same thing. Also, they keep score if their partner makes mistakes and remind about them, which ultimately turns marriage into a sort of competition.
It would help if you forgot about keeping score before marrying because otherwise, you’re heading for a big disappointment. Your goal is to create an environment where you and your spouse can learn about each other and love each other, not compete.
11. A key to great sex is exclusivity
According to 2017 statistics compiled by Trustify, 22 percent of married men admit cheating on their spouses. 35 percent of men say they cheated while on a business trip.
That’s a lot. There are many causes of infidelity in relationships. One of the reasons why these men choose to have affairs with other women is because they think that sexual stimulation will satisfy them.
However, sex is almost like a drug: it thrills but doesn’t satisfy. As a result, cheating becomes something that erodes sexual joy in a marriage.
Remember when preparing for a marriage that you can become a great lover if you practice sex with only one woman: your wife. Given that great sex and great relationship are connected, it’s safe to assume that it can only happen if a man’s only target of his sexual imagination and desires is his wife.
12. Plan together
You may be used to planning for life without considering other people’s needs. That’s okay while you’re single. When you marry, your wife will be counting on you to have a vision for your lives, which means you consider her needs when planning your life.
For example, let’s suppose you want to buy a car. Considering only your needs, you’ll probably buy a high-performance muscle car. But will it be beneficial for your family? What are you going to do with it if you have children? In this case, your best bet is a family car like an SUV or a minivan.
Remember: you should always plan together, whether it’s a purchase or a choice you have to make.
This may not come across as an essential pre-marriage tip for men, but it has great benefits. Imagine the relief of your wife. She might be a person who loves to cook, but everyone deserves a day off from time to time.
This could be your special thing for her. Cook a day in a week to make her feel special, and the amount of love she will shower on you would be immeasurable.
Also, cooking is a skill that will help you in life. Forex; when she gets pregnant when visiting family or gets late at work. All these scenarios will not be a problem if you know how to cook. So learn it before you say I do.
14. Learn basic cleaning skills
Hygiene and cleanliness are two essential parts of life and play a vital role in marriage. No woman wants to be your maid and do everything for you. Make sure you are not unclean and dirty all the time.
It would help if you knew a few daily chores such as operating the washing machine or doing the dishes, or how to vacuum.
15. Let go of your past
This is one of the most important pre-marriage tips of all. If you want to lead a happy and healthy life with your would-be spouse, you need to let go of any romantic past you had.
Hanging on to it might backfire in the long run. All those suppressed feelings and resentment will definitely come out, not in a good way. You might want to clear your conscious before you get married.
Just engaged or contemplating marriage? Discover how to transition smoothly into the next phase of your relationship with Marriage.com's Pre-Marriage Course. Begin your incredible journey with this guide designed by experts and lay a strong foundation for your path of togetherness - forever!
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.