13 Pros & Cons of Sex Before Marriage

When it comes to physical intimacy before marriage, faith has a lot to say about what boundaries an individual should set. Certain beliefs suggest or expect that you keep yourself pure before the big day. 

There are also a lot of people who seem to be in favor of engaging in physical intimacy before marriage.  

What are premarital sex’s advantages and disadvantages? Is having sex before marriage good or bad? 

So if you are somebody who is not influenced by a particular faith and who has a neutral perspective on physical intimacy before marriage, you might want to explore sex before marriage pros and cons. 

This article also covers the reasons why some people save themselves for the big day and why others prefer to explore their sexuality before marriage.

Is sex before marriage a sin?

Whether sex before marriage is considered a sin varies based on cultural, religious, and personal beliefs. Some view it as important to wait, while others see it as a personal choice. It’s crucial to align actions with your values and respect your partner’s perspective.

Open communication, understanding, and mutual consent are essential for any intimate relationship.

Does sex before marriage affect the relationship?

Having sex before marriage can impact a relationship in various ways. It can deepen emotional intimacy and bring couples closer. However, it might also lead to complex emotions like guilt or regret if personal values conflict. Communicating openly about expectations and feelings is essential.

According to marriage & family therapist Lisa Seid:

Whether or not you believe in sex before marriage, sexual connection can be a vital part of a healthy marriage, so make sure you’re at least communicating about this prior. It will help set you up for success when you finally take that step physically.

If both partners share similar beliefs, it might strengthen their connection. If not, differing views could lead to misunderstandings. Remember, the impact depends on individual values and communication. Being on the same page, respecting each other’s feelings, and making decisions that align with your relationship’s needs are key.

Let’s move on to learn some pros and cons of sex before marriage.

13 pros of sex before marriage

Why is sex before marriage good? There are various benefits of having sex before marriage. Here are 13 of them:

1. Establishing sexual identity

Exploration is the biggest benefit of what can you do sexually before marriage.

If we do not explore our sexual side, we cannot grow naturally and develop into it, and that means that we cannot truly understand where our sexual identity lies. 

Many people do not discover their sexual orientation until they have sex and realize that they are perhaps not naturally attracted sexually to the opposite sex. It is an important thing to figure out before marriage!

2. Developing sexual experience

You are considering marriage and settling down; you wouldn’t marry somebody who is too childlike or naive in life. Understanding sexual things to do before marriage helps you prepare for the future.

It makes sense to explore ourselves sexually so that by the time things start to get real. You’ll be confident enough in yourself and in your understanding of your sexual side without having to go through the pain of practicing all of this on the person who you consider to be the real deal!

3. Assessing sexual compatibility

Let’s face it, marriage requires more than physical intimacy alone. Physical intimacy is an essential component of a marriage that requires effort and attention. 

Avoiding physical intimacy in marriage because of an issue with a lack of sexual attraction will potentially create a distance in your marriage that can be difficult to come back from in some situations. Discovering your sexual compatibility beforehand can help to avoid such problems.

4. Identifying sexual problems

There are myriad sexual problems that can occur. Some might be fleeting, and others might require time and effort to resolve, while others could be permanent. When you get intimate before marriage, you can learn more about your and your partner’s sexual wellness.

It would make more sense to see how you work through such problems before marriage so that you don’t spend your married life dealing with such issues instead of enjoying a beautiful relationship.

5. Better understanding with partner

Once you get into a relationship and make a choice of sex before marriage, your understanding with your partner becomes better. The efforts put into marriage are done beforehand, as sex plays an important drive in helping you both know each other better.

6. Better communication of feelings

With sex before marriage, you are able to communicate your feelings better. This is because sex also connects two people on an emotional level. So, this helps you both interact in a better way and shed all the inhibitions.

7. Higher happiness rate

A relationship that involves sex witnesses higher levels of happiness. The partners feel content with each other, and there’s an added advantage of relationship fulfillment. Naturally, a relationship that lacks sex invites more fights in the relationship as there is no coping mechanism.

Therefore, the quality and quantity of physical relationships before marriage correlate with the happiness of the couple.

8. Generally reduced levels of stress

One of the benefits of premarital sex is that partners have less stress and arguments in the relationship. They reach a level of understanding and security that allows them to worry less about the relationship.

Overall, this makes the relationship healthier and stronger.

9. Better intimacy with the partner

It’s not unusual to be in a relationship and to be physically attracted to your partner but then to end up being completely turned off when things become physically intimate. 

Perhaps biology is telling us that we are not intimate; who knows? But as strange and frustrating as it may seem, that problem occurs more frequently than you might assume.  

If you are physically intimate with your partner before marriage, you’ll know soon enough whether you are attracted to each other sexually so that you can make a well-educated decision about whether to marry or not. 

10. Better health

One of the biggest benefits of sex before marriage!

One of the reasons to have sex before marriage is that it is known that sex leads to better health, and even if you have a delayed marriage, your sex life is healthy, it can contribute to overall good health and fewer mental and physical problems.

11. Shared experience

Having sexual experiences before marriage can create shared memories that contribute to the relationship’s depth. These experiences become stories and moments that are unique to the couple, reinforcing their connection and sense of intimacy. 

Over time, these shared experiences can serve as a reminder of the journey they’ve undertaken together, fostering a stronger bond.

12. Reduced curiosity

When a couple engages in sexual experiences before marriage, it can reduce curiosity and potential doubts about sexual compatibility. Exploring each other’s desires and preferences helps build a solid foundation for the physical aspect of the relationship. 

This exploration can lead to a more comfortable and satisfying intimate connection, as uncertainties are addressed earlier on.

13. Trust building

Engaging in sexual experiences before marriage requires a high level of trust and vulnerability. Sharing such an intimate aspect of oneself is a significant display of trust, showing that you’re comfortable being open and exposed to your partner. 

Trust deepens as you both respect each other’s boundaries and communicate openly about desires and limits. Over time, this trust extends beyond the bedroom and contributes to the overall strength of the relationship.

13 cons of sex before marriage

Is premarital sex bad? Check out these disadvantages of sex before marriage so that you can make the right choice whether or not it is right for you:

1. Loss of interest

Partners might lose interest in each other and grow extremely comfortable. This will kill the attraction and make the partners stray away from each other. They might want to move out on the lookout for further adventure and excitement.

2. Fear of pregnancy

There could be a constant fear of pregnancy, and this can be troublesome because, without a legal bond, a lot of countries do not allow abortion. There can be a lot of chaos in the relationship and other aspects of life.

3. Fear of STDs

If someone has multiple partners, one of the reasons why physical intimacy before marriage could be disadvantageous is because there is a fear of sexually transmitted diseases. There are more chances of adultery in relationships, and this can be scary for the other partner.

4. Lack of focus on other aspects of life

One of the problems and dangers of premarital relationships is that people can be so focused and over-invested in the relationship that they might forget to balance the other aspects of life. 

At a young age, people might lose focus on important areas in life and pay undue attention to sex and relationships, which can turn out to be bad and unhealthy.

5. Fear of breakup

There’s a constant fear of breakup in a relationship before tying the knot, and sex before marriage can worsen the situation because after being so connected to the partner, both emotionally and physically, it will be devastating to sever the relationship.

6. Single parent situation

Consequences of premarital intimacy can be accidental pregnancy and child abandonment, where one partner could have all the stress of single parenting.

Pregnancy can be a huge stress for unmarried couples, and it can cause severe damage to the relationship if there is no legality in the relationship.

To understand single-parent struggles better, check out this video:

7. Hurting religious sentiments

If either of the partners belongs to a religious setup that does not favor premarital sex, it can hurt the sentiments of the family and society. So, it can be difficult for people around either or both of you to accept the relationship.

8. Lack of maturity

There can be a lack of maturity at a young age, and the decision of premarital sex can negatively impact the lives of both partners if they don’t have enough knowledge about it. Further, it can also deviate them from other aspects of their life.

9. Moments of guilt

Establishing a sexual relationship is put on a high pedestal because of the emotional investment involved, and considering this is still not an acceptable norm in modern society, there can be moments of guilt thinking about whether or not this is the right decision.

10. Less understanding partner

There could be chances that although sex could seem great, your partner is not supportive or understanding. This can lead to intimacy with your partner from your side, while your partner might not be contributing to that level.

11. Impact on self-esteem

Engaging in premarital sex can have a profound impact on self-esteem, particularly if the experience is negative or doesn’t align with one’s expectations. Feelings of guilt, shame, or regret can weigh heavily on self-esteem and self-worth, affecting how an individual perceives themselves. 

Negative outcomes might lead to questioning personal choices and body image, impacting their overall confidence.

12. Pressure to continue

Once a sexual relationship begins, there can be an unspoken pressure to continue it. This pressure might arise from the emotional connection formed, the expectation of ongoing physical intimacy, or even from societal norms. 

Such pressure can make it challenging for individuals to express their changing feelings or desires, as they may fear disappointing or hurting their partner.

13. Emotional attachment

Engaging in sexual activity can create a strong emotional attachment, potentially clouding judgment and decision-making. This attachment can lead to intensified feelings of love and closeness, making it difficult to assess the relationship’s compatibility objectively.

If the emotional bond is primarily based on physical intimacy, it might hinder the ability to build a balanced and well-rounded connection.

FAQs

Questions about sex before marriage often arise due to personal values and concerns. Here are answers to common queries on this topic.

• Is it okay to have sex before marriage?

Whether it’s okay depends on your personal beliefs and values. Open communication with your partner about boundaries and expectations is important.

• Can sex before marriage affect the longevity of a relationship?

It can impact the relationship depending on factors like communication, mutual consent, and shared values. Openness and understanding between partners play a key role.

• What is the science behind sex before marriage?

Physiologically, sex releases oxytocin and fosters emotional bonding. However, emotional and psychological factors also influence its impact on individuals and relationships.

• Can a couple’s views on sex before marriage change over time?

Yes, perspectives can evolve due to personal growth, changing beliefs, or adapting to the partner’s views. Open dialogue and mutual respect are essential for such discussions.

• Should you have unprotected sex before your marriage?

Practicing safe sex is crucial to prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Using protection shows responsibility and care for both partners’ health and well-being.

Make an informed decision

So, is it bad to have sex before marriage? 

Every coin has two sides, and whether or not sex before marriage is the right choice depends completely on the person and the relationship with their partner. So, with the pros and cons listed above, weigh both sides and make an informed decision.