The reality of being a mother can be starkly different from what you had thought it would be like. And that’s life.
For many females, putting that pressure on themselves by trying to figure out how to be the perfect mom often sets them up for disappointment and failure.
The concept of being a perfect mother or a perfect parent doesn’t exist!
Mothers struggle when they welcome a child into their lives. Introducing a child to the world and into your life can be a challenging and even overwhelming experience.
A big part of being a better mother or trying to figure out how to balance motherhood and marriage is to accept that the reality of becoming a primary caregiver to a child can be different from your idea of the same.
Apart from being challenging and overwhelming at times, figuring out the dynamics of marriage and motherhood is also important to effectively adjust to motherhood if you’re married.
There are several helpful tips covered in the following sections that can help you understand and balance being a wife and mother,
Here are some ways that you can consider for adjusting and accepting motherhood:
Motherhood can be an extremely emotional experience
The confusion, burden of new responsibilities, the sound of your crying infant, sleeplessness, and fatigue can make you feel many strong emotions.
But instead of repressing these intense feelings, which will eventually impact you adversely, consider allowing yourself to feel all these big emotions and express them.
Baby blues are real
Baby blues is the term used to refer to the period right after delivery where your hormone secretion drops significantly. You may experience mood swings, bouts of crying, strong negative feelings directed at your baby, headaches, and so on.
But don’t be too critical or harsh on yourself. This happens to a considerable percentage of new mommies! Talk to your physician if you’re experiencing this as well as your spouse or partner. It should typically subside after a few days.
Accept help for various household responsibilities
Chores around your home that you and your partner could get done quickly might feel overwhelming in the early days of motherhood.
If you’re primarily in charge of caring for your child, then consider delegating more household responsibilities to your partner or others who offer to help. Also, consider making to-do lists to help you stay organized.
Another critical question that arises when it comes to learning how to balance motherhood and marriage is that does this role of being a mother come naturally?
The answer is that it may or may not come easily or naturally. But the important thing to remember is that even your instincts or adjustment to motherhood doesn’t come effortlessly or naturally. It is most definitely not an indication that you can’t be a good mom.
Not every female can feel like a caring and nurturing parent from the get-go. And it’s okay!
Motherhood is a time characterized by constant demands that are ever-changing.
So yes, adjusting to motherhood won’t necessarily come naturally to mothers. It takes work. And most importantly, time.
A big part of motherhood and marriage is to accept that you may not always be jazzed about being a parent. It’s okay.
Don’t feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed or not having naturally solid maternal instincts. Remember, you’re human!
Nurturing and taking responsibility for your child means that you’re giving to another human being without any expectations of receiving anything.
You become less judgmental
The significant difference between the reality and expectations of motherhood naturally makes people less judgmental.
Your intuitive abilities grow
In the process of constantly nurturing and protecting your child, your intuition grows. This helps you greatly in every aspect of life as you grow as a mother.
You understand your inner child better
A significant component of being a mother or a parent is to spend a significant amount of time entertaining or soothing your child with children’s songs, tv shows, toys, cuddles, being goofy or silly, and so on. These activities help you understand and reconnect with your inner child!
Balancing marriage and motherhood: 15 effective tips
Let’s now get into learning about how to balance motherhood and marriage. To prevent losing yourself in motherhood and marriage and establish balance in marriage, consider implementing these 15 tips.
15 effective tips for learning how to balance motherhood and marriage have been delineated as follows:
Prioritization is key
When it’s about balancing motherhood, prioritizing the needs or requirements (including work), your child, your partner, and your house (with your partner) are essential. Remember that priorities can vary regularly.
If you’re having doubts about whether you both are spending enough time together, talk to him. Tell him if you think your spouse can dedicate more time to nurturing the child. If you need help, ask him.
If you’re at home all the time for your baby, it might feel pointless to dress up. But remember: dressing up is about yourself. So, when you wish to dress up, you’re doing it to feel good! It’s for yourself! So, don’t hold back.
Besides feeling good, dressing up can also help you feel like you have a greater sense of control over everything! You’ll feel confident.
7. Get enough sleep
Feeling fatigued is a part of motherhood. Without being well-rested, you’re more likely to feel irritable and snap at your spouse over little things. Even if you both manage to go out for a date, you won’t be able to enjoy that time if you’re feeling exhausted. So, prioritize sleep.
Another important aspect of figuring out how to balance motherhood and marriage is to focus on your health. Exercising regularly doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go to a gym or a Pilates class every day. No.
It’s about being physically active in whatever way you can or want to be. It can be by playing with your child, dancing, going for walks with your spouse, doing yoga, and so on.
Confidence in yourself, your health, and your appearance are crucial aspects of successfully balancing being a mother and wife.
Unfortunately, mom guilt is an inevitable part of motherhood and parenthood in general. Whether you’re a housewife or have a career, it’s important to ditch the guilt. Accept help from loved ones or babysitters and nannies for your child.
There’s nothing inappropriate or wrong with getting help. You and your beloved can utilize that time to make some special memories of your own!
10. Establish proper bedtimes for your kids
Rekindling sexual and physical intimacy with your spouse is important for implementing how to balance motherhood and marriage. And one of the most effective ways to do that is by establishing a fixed bedtime for your child or children.
When they’re off to sleep, you both can use that time to spend with each other.
Another easy way to establish a balance between relationship and parenthood is to sit down with your beloved and decide a time of the day where you can be together without any interruption from your child.
Use that time (the duration is not necessary) as your quality time with your spouse. This can mean having a cup of tea or coffee before work or a quick stroll during the day etc.
12. Weekend getaways are helpful
If you can have loved ones watching your child for a weekend, plan a romantic trip with your spouse! Rekindle that passion and intimacy!
Encouraging your child to play outside will also provide you with the chance to get out of your home. Playing outside regularly will also provide you and your spouse the opportunity to go for a walk or be silly or have fun together!
14. Self-care is necessary
The importance of self-care as a mom is incomparable. Self-care can be anything that soothes you and makes you happy.
Whether it’s getting a haircut, taking a nap, playing an instrument, journaling, painting, and so on, self-care for mothers is essential to help you feel refreshed and energized.
Play-dates regularly help your child make friends and provide you and your spouse to interact and become friends with other parents. This is another fantastic way to have fun with your spouse and establish a balance between motherhood and your marriage.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.