Let’s face it, being a mum has its ups and downs. Parenting is difficult, with the constant feeling and worry that you might be failing your kids, considering they take after you and what you show them, from your attitude towards your goals, behavior, and views.
Well, this is absolutely normal, and chances are you’re doing a fantastic job as a mother.
As parents, we tend to get so caught up in holding ourselves to high standards and comparing our parenting skills to outward measurable signs of our success.
But the truth is, just because you haven’t nailed how to be a helicopter or tiger mom, doesn’t mean you’re messing up this whole parenting thing.
Remember, that no one shoe fits all when it comes to being an amazing mother—what might work for one mother may not necessarily work for you and how you want to raise your child.
So, what are the signs you’re doing a good job as a mom with effective parenting skills?
6 signs you are doing good as a parent
When it comes to being a good mother, the simple fact that you dragged yourself out of bed at odd hours of the night to fix a science project for your kids or the mere reason you’re here reading this shows you care if you’re a good mother or not, which serves as one of the signs you’re a better mom than you think.
Some of them might even seem as surprising signs you’re doing a great job, mom. Read on to find out the signs you’re parenting right:
1. Your child displays a range of emotions
If your child can freely express their feelings in front of you, it shows that they feel emotionally safe in your presence.
The fact that your child is free in your presence should convey the message that you’ve nurtured an encouraging and supportive relationship with your kids, which shows them that you love and value them.
2. Your child confides in you
There is nothing more reassuring that you’re a good mum than when your child comes to you when facing a challenge.
The fact that your child does this shows that you’ve established a secure relationship that encourages them to come to you for help with their problems, petty or not.
One of the advantages of building a stable connection with your child is that it ultimately enhances their emotional intelligence (EI).
EI is not an innate skill, but a learned skill and the more you encourage your kids to vent out their frustrations, it provides you with a platform to teach them how to empathize, label and validate their emotions.
This is only possible if you relate to your kids when they share their problems and help them to identify as well as understand what they are feeling.
However, your kids cannot confide in you if open communication doesn’t already exist. If anything, for your child to confide in you, they shouldn’t be afraid of your reaction, which can only be achieved through open communication.
3. Your child displays necessary life skills
Basic life skills stem from personality—your kids’ ability to share and care, build relationships, display good manners, be optimistic or display high emotional intelligence, which is a result of the environment you provide your child with.
For instance, if your child shows attributes such as sharing and caring, it means that these are values you’ve instilled or taught them to be okay. Remember, kids, pick up their attitudes and behavior from what they see.
The way your kids relate with other people shows that you’ve actually put effort into teaching them how to interact with others, which is a very essential skill.
4. You encourage effort, not perfection
As parents, we want the best for our kids, which is absolutely okay. However, overemphasizing on achievement rather than effort draws a wedge between you and your child in the long haul.
The same goes for feedback, always provide positive and non-labeling feedback. This way, you get to correct mistakes instead of crushing your child’s spirit by calling them names.
Additionally, having a discussion with your child about how they should have reacted or handled a specific situation is an effective parenting skill that reinforces a distinction between what is wrong and what is right.
If you are praising your child for the process (effort and hard work) that leads to achievement, then you are doing a good job. Because according to research, over 90% of parents are more concerned with perfection rather than effort.
5. Your priorities are right
You’re doing an excellent job as a mum if you’ve ever left your house without taking a shower because your child needed to go to school or went to the supermarket to do grocery shopping and felt like you were on vacation.
All these boil down to the sacrifices you’ve made to be the most exceptional parent your kids will ever need. It’s not an easy job wanting to shape the life of your little angels and it not taking a toll on you.
So, enjoy those good days where you feel like the universe is on your side. And for the bad days hang in there, you’re doing a terrific job!
6. You establish boundaries
Children tend to get out of control without proper limits in place. Being able to set boundaries that guide them makes them feel treasured and loved.
These limitations can include bedtime routines, good manners, restricting them to age-appropriate events, tv programs, and so on.
Being a good mom isn’t about being perfect, it’s all about the confusion, frustration, and nervousness that comes with being a mother.
And it’s absolutely okay to overthink things or question whether you’ve taken a page from an excellent parenting book and are actually implementing them. In fact, all these are the signs you’re a good mom.