Parenting in itself is a big challenge despite shared responsibilities; it is worse in case of single parenting. You have to deal with guilt, negative emotions, fear, and doubt at the same time, the family responsibilities wait for your attention. When you are in custody of the children, who judge you for the separation;, depression is inevitable when you allow the stress to overwhelm you. However, statistics prove that 30 percent of most marriages end up in divorce resulting in single parenting cases. Even if you have mutual consent to co-parent some facts never change. Look at this-
You had a shoulder to lean on while you were married; now you have no one to lean on. Naturally, you need a companion to just tap your back to assure you that “all is well, we are in this together.” Now you have to deal with it on your own. Your friends and family will not give you the company that your spouse gives you. You have to make your own decisions and deal with their consequences. The society also starts judging you for not being tolerant enough that your marriage did not last. Whom will you turn to for help? This is a factual reality most single parents have to cope with in single parenting.
Loneliness is real
Do you know there is a level of companionship you can only get from your spouse? What is your urge for intimacy? Where do you get the body warmth during the cold nights? Hey! Wake up to the fact that this is the reality of single parenting. Your children or family will never be a substitute to your spouse. As you seek to socialize with your peers, at the end of the day, you come back home to the sad reality of an empty house.
Family burden is overwhelming
You have to run two families with the same income, your ex-spouse may only handle what is necessary within his or her means. You may need to change your lifestyle which the children will have to deal with. Before they accept the bitter truth, they will throw tantrums and project their anger on you as if to blame you for giving up the good life they enjoyed when the financial basket was manageable.
At times, you are forced to work for longer hours to cater for the deficit. You may break down because it is too much for you to handle. You are forced to cut on your visits to the salons, massage parlors, and just having fun with friends. On the other hand, you may have the money but you need someone you are accountable to, to have a good financial management plan. That is the time you realize that you were better off with your partner than being alone.
Children are adversely affected
Some couples opt to stay in unhappy marriages for fear of subjecting their children to emotional distress. How will you handle your daughter or son who jumps simultaneously on the dad’s shoulder and mom’s laps? This child is emotionally affected. At the same time, seeing you in sorrow all the time is not good for them either. That is the dilemma parents face prior to single parenting. The negative emotions in children affect their personality development which further leads to low self-esteem issues, isolation, bitterness, and resentment.
There is a lot of emotional overload
Despite the challenges in the marriage, your spouse had a strength that complemented your failures. There are things that never bothered you simply because of his or her presence. It also gave you a sense of security among your peers. Before you heal, bitterness and resentment define you. You have to provide a shoulder for your kids to cry on when you yourself require it more than them. They notice your sorrow and struggles, even if they try to empathize with you, it also drains them. The emotional instability becomes a cycle- what a sad family!
It is difficult to instill discipline in children
Parenting all alone may give wrong impression to the children. You have no option but to use dictatorship in instilling discipline which is not sustainable.
It is evident, try as must as possible to have the interest of the children at heart. If you have to part ways, work on the emotional fulfillment of the kids without looking at your own selfish interests. These facts negatively affect the children.