Marriage Intimacy Tips to Help You Both Come Closer

What is intimacy in a relationship? What is intimacy in a marriage? Is it only physical in nature, or can it also be found in platonic relationships?

Many of us hear intimacy and immediately think of sex. Sex is a significant factor in developing intimacy in marriage, but non-sexual intimacy in relationships is equally significant.

In fact, when there are marriage intimacy problems present, the way to fix those issues is addressing both non-sexual and sexual intimacy in a relationship.

Doing so is a well-rounded approach that results in a very refreshing outcome that gives the marriage a new life.

The inability of people in relationships to understand intimacy without sex is many times the cause of a lack of intimacy in marriage. 

There are many different levels of intimacy that a couple can attain in their marriage, and sex is only one such level. Building intimacy in your marriage or restoring intimacy in marriage requires you to experience different levels of intimacy.

Through this article, we urge you to try different forms of intimacy and make your marriage stronger than ever.

Also, if you feel a strong need for intimacy in your marriage or are wondering how to fix intimacy problems in a marriage, find some great tips to improve marriage intimacy below.

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Non-sexual marriage intimacy tips

1. Create an intimate space

Improved marital intimacy begins by creating an intimate space. Married couples, especially those with children, do not get the amount of privacy desired.

Couples want to be alone every once in a while to wind down and appreciate each other’s company. They want to talk without editing themselves, take in each other’s energy, and perhaps, cuddle without being disturbed.

Even if creating that intimate space requires work, do it. Get up early in the morning if you have to stay up late on the weekends to spend quality time or head back home during lunch hour to enjoy a quiet house and a quick bite together. Be creative.

2. Be open with your love

There is no reason to hide your love and warmth from family, friends, or your children. Closeness is lovely and keeps the intimacy alive! Never be afraid to show affection.

Hug, hold hands, put your arm around your spouse, give each other that unique look, and exchange smiles. Compliments are also very impactful. Display of love sends a positive message to anyone that witnesses them.

3. Have a discussion about needs

Couples must discuss individual needs at some point. When the two of you are alone and relaxing, start an open conversation about what each other requirements are to remain happy and fulfilled in the relationship along with ways those needs can be met.

Such a discussion will open eyes by helping couples understand one another. Some individuals crave quality time; others want more affection, while some need a little more support.

Along with learning what each other’s needs are, couples benefit from communicating openly and honestly. Discussing the relationship and showing interest in the happiness of your spouse increases intimacy.

You may never know if you don’t talk about it. You can start the conversation by asking, “Is there anything I can do to make you happier in this marriage?” or “Do you have any emotional needs I am not fulfilling?”

Sexual marriage intimacy tips

Marriage intimacy problems usually surround what is or isn’t happening in the bedroom. So how to improve marriage intimacy?

The non-sexual tips discussed will improve your sex life since partners are better able to connect physically when both are mentally and emotionally fulfilled.

Addressing the non-sexual portion is the way to start, but there are additional steps to take on how to increase intimacy in marriage. Find them below:

1. Commit to a challenge

Those wanting to know how to improve marital intimacy should start by doing the opposite of what is not working. Those with this issue are likely not connecting as much as they should physically.

Challenge one another to have sex “x” amount of times for the duration of 1 or 2 weeks. This encourages partners to make a conscious effort. Remember that this doesn’t require full-on date nights.

Just get romantic and enjoy each other. Also, do not be afraid to initiate. It is very healthy for the person that almost never begins to start. It will make your spouse feel desired.

2. Visit an adult store

If the thought of this makes you blush in embarrassment, there is the option to visit an online adult shop with your spouse. Look around, see what interests you, and possibly place an order.

Deliveries are sent in unmarked parcels, so no one will know the contents but you. Doing something a little out of the ordinary can add fire and excitement to a marriage.

You are not only taking part in something a little risqué together, but browsing around the shop may inspire new ideas. That is the great thing about being married.

You can go on naughty adventures while maintaining a safe, secure space.

3. Don’t forget the eye contact

Eye contact significantly improves sexual intimacy. It makes many feel vulnerable and exposed, but vulnerability and exposure are not bad. Both actually promote intimacy.

That initial urge to look away is natural, but making eye contact will connect you and your spouse on a deeply intimate level. It strengthens the emotional connection between partners, boosts confidence, and builds trust.

Of course, you want to work up to this, but try making eye contact during sex. Watching your spouse experience pleasure is arousing. Those uncomfortable with the idea must take things slow.

Start with short gazes until you get comfortable and then hold eye contact longer when the time feels right.

Final thoughts 

It has often been questioned that how important is intimacy in a relationship, or can a relationship survive without intimacy?

Well, intimacy is what strengthens the connection that you share with another person. It is the building block for creating a healthy relationship that only enhances the trust you have in your partner. 

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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