10 Tips on Communication During Divorce

Sometimes, you have a compelling reason to communicate with your spouse through your attorney, but making contact yourself may be more beneficial. You may spend a considerable sum of money if you have to contact your spouse for every minor issue through a family law attorney. 

However, you may need some tips for communication during a divorce. Meanwhile, it is not just about the legal proceedings in the picture. A divorce is a big deal – you and your partner are going through a transition. 

You may want to speak to each other for various reasons, but you have to ensure that you are not out of line and overstepping any boundaries in this new setup. 

Can you have a relationship while going through a divorce?

When it comes to communication during divorce, there are certain things you need to know. One of the most common questions people ask is if they can have a relationship during a divorce, whether with their spouse or someone else.

It is alright to seek comfort at the time of a divorce. However, there may be certain complications that you cannot overlook. Seeing someone new while the divorce is still going on can make things tricky for you, your spouse, and your new partner. You are not legally obligated not to date someone new if you are already separated from your spouse.

Meanwhile, if you want to know if you can have a relationship with your spouse, it is possible, but you will have to set some boundaries. Should you have no contact during divorce, or should you only communicate through a lawyer?

You must stay cordial with each other, at least. This will make the divorce easier, both monetarily and even otherwise. 

However, if you are separated already, having a romantic relationship with them during the divorce can change things. If you wish to give the relationship another chance, you should go through your attorney and figure out a way. 

Related Reading: 10 Reasons to Avoid Dating During a Divorce

Divorces can happen for various reasons. What are some of the most common ones? Watch this video to know more.

10 tips for communication during divorce

How to communicate with your spouse during the divorce? Some of the ways you can steer clear of communication pitfalls are:

1. Check your temperament

It won’t be a surprise that you and your partner end up arguing on trivial issues while you are going through the divorce. You may be thinking about how to talk to your spouse about divorce. The trick is to avoid communicating with your spouse when you’re highly upset and only speak when you’ve calmed down.

2. Say no to unnecessary communication

Refrain from responding to every communication from your spouse. Ignore trivial issues to avoid other conflicts. Establish parameters for communication during divorce and let your spouse know before time you’d only respond to the significant requests at your earliest convenience.

3. Avoid excessive social media

Avoid the use of social media when your divorce case is pending. If you can’t avoid that altogether, resist posting anything related to your relationship or divorce case to avoid getting a counter-reaction from your spouse, which would further delay the divorce proceedings.

Related Reading: The Harsh Truth About Social Media and Relationships’ Codependency

4. Avoid anger outburts

It is very natural to feel a range of emotions while going through the process. However, while establishing communication during divorce, be cautious about your tone of conversations about divorce. Try as much as possible to speak to your spouse in a friendly or civil tone and avoid shouting.

5. Decide the mode of communication

Establish boundaries, and make them clear: state your preferred modes of communication during divorce like through phone, text, or email. Specify if you only want to respond to emergency requests or whether you are comfortable with steady calls.

6. Take your time and space

Respond when you can. You don’t have to respond after every message. Taking your time will help you come up with a considerate and courteous response.

7. Don’t dig up the past

Concentrate only on the present issues. Try hard to avoid acting out based on the previous happenings, as dealing with a spouse is an emotional affair. If you want to discuss your children, concentrate only on custody issues. 

This will help you come up with a more productive result on significant issues.

Related Reading: How to Let Go of the Past: 15 Simple Steps

8. Get a mediator

A mediator is an unbiased third party who can assist both couples arrive at a mutual agreement on several issues.

9. Communicate through an attorney

There are situations when a spouse is so aggressive that it is difficult to make direct contact. In a situation like this, communicating through an attorney is recommended.

Another reason you may need to communicate to your spouse through your attorney is that you have a restraining order that prohibits all contact, like in the case of issues of domestic violence.

This research article highlights the role of a lawyer during a divorce.

Related Reading: How to Find a Good Divorce Lawyer

10. Don’t involve the family

Your family, including kids, if you have any, should be aware of the situation. Still, they should not be involved in any ugly spats you and your spouse have because of the divorce process. Do not make them a mediator or involve them in a way where they must pick sides.

This research talks about how children are affected in families during a divorce.

The bottom line

Should I talk to my spouse during the divorce? You won’t have a choice. Sooner or later, you may have to set up a communication channel with them, whether direct or indirect, to confirm the details of the divorce.

During your divorce process, the two couples in question need to conduct themselves respectfully to make the divorce process smooth and less stressful. You don’t want additional stress on yourself! You may need to consult a family law attorney to help you with communication if your spouse is acting with hostility.