19 Practical Tips for Dealing With a Narcissist

They charm, they criticize, they confuse—and somehow, they always make it about them. If you’ve found yourself second-guessing, apologizing too much, or walking on eggshells, it’s no surprise. 

Dealing with a narcissist can feel like being trapped in a loop where your feelings don’t quite land and logic seems to slide off the surface. You try to stay calm… they push buttons. You offer kindness… they twist it.

It’s exhausting, right? 

Still, you keep hoping things might shift—just a little. Maybe they will; maybe they won’t. Either way, there are ways to protect your energy and breathe a little easier.

What is a narcissistic personality disorder?

We call someone a narcissist—or someone who possesses narcissistic tendencies—when that person substitutes a “false personality” that they present to the outside world to cover up deep childhood traumas and hurt. 

Narcissists often come across as excessively charming, with a “big” personality—very extroverted and always wanting to be the center of attention. When self-love reaches an extreme level, narcissism can develop into a full-blown personality disorder. 

For example: A person with NPD might dominate a social setting with flashy stories and attention-seeking behavior. But later, if someone else is recognized or praised, they may become defensive or withdrawn—because, deep down, they feel “not good enough” and fear being outshone.

How to spot a narcissist: 7 clear signs you’re dealing with one

Recognizing narcissistic behavior early can save you from confusion, emotional exhaustion, and self-doubt. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or colleague, dealing with a narcissist often means navigating manipulation, charm, and control. 

Understanding how to deal with a narcissist begins with noticing the subtle signs—those patterns that may seem small at first but reveal a deeper, persistent dynamic.

1. Praise is what they require all the time

Their hunger for praise is endless. And most importantly, this praise is only for them, and they want nobody to expect the same from them.

As a matter of fact, if sometimes they do not hear the same heart-winning compliments, then they get angry and frustrated.

• Example: You congratulate a coworker in front of them, and instead of joining in, they sulk or change the subject to something they achieved weeks ago.

2. Excessive sense of self-admiration

They do not understand the fact that others also have a heart, and everybody possesses some value. Narcissists never feel for others; they indeed want themselves to be treated as superior to others.

• Example: In a group celebration, they expect all praise to be directed at them, even when the achievement was a team effort.

3. A sense of superiority

Irrespective of whether they have achieved anything or not they possess a certain sense of superiority that always surrounds them. They want themselves to be recognized as having a more prominent status than the rest around.

• Example: They insist on getting special treatment at events, even if they’ve done nothing notable.

4. They exaggerate their achievements

Furthermore, if they have a talent for something that has even allowed them to achieve what they desired; so these accomplishments are always exaggerated by narcissists.

• Example: Winning a local award becomes “being nationally recognized” in their version of the story.

5. Focused on beauty and power

A preoccupation with thoughts about beauty, power, brilliance, ideal life partner is another significant characteristic of such people.

It may be difficult to notice at times because many people are attracted to these things but people who have experience of dealing with a narcissist know that their preoccupation is at a different level altogether.

• Example: They constantly talk about their looks or connections to influential people to impress others.

6. Jealous tendencies

They are always envious of others and also think that others envy them as they are perfect beings possessing beauty with brains. 

This makes dealing with a narcissist pretty difficult since they think that people are just out to get them when they point out their narcissistic tendencies.

• Example: When a friend gets promoted, they dismiss it as luck or politics and assume others are envious of their own “potential.

7. Can’t accept criticism

They react to any sort of criticism against them with extreme arrogance. Their fragile ego can’t handle being questioned or corrected, even constructively.

• Example: If you gently suggest they interrupted someone, they might accuse you of being jealous or disrespectful.

19 practical tips for dealing with a narcissist

Being close to someone who constantly seeks praise, twists conversations, or ignores your feelings can leave you feeling drained and confused. But you don’t have to stay powerless. 

When you’re dealing with a narcissist, it helps to have a clear, steady approach—one that protects your energy while making space for firm boundaries and self-respect. These practical tips are here to guide you through the chaos with more confidence and calm.

1. Set your boundaries in a calm manner

The best way to deal with a narcissist is to be kind but firm. If your narcissist is abusing you verbally, set your boundary by saying in a calm voice, “It is difficult for me to listen to you when you talk like this.”

In this way, you are protecting yourself from the abuse when dealing with a narcissist, all while teaching them that changing their attitude will allow you back into the conversation.

• How to start: Begin by clearly stating what behavior is not acceptable, using a calm and firm tone.

2. Understand that their actions come from a place of emptiness

Don’t get upset or blame yourself, especially when dealing with a narcissist. They aren’t doing this on purpose; it is the disorder that is showing itself.

• How to start: Remind yourself that narcissistic behavior is often rooted in deep insecurity and emotional voids.

3. When they criticize you to build themselves up, let it go

For your own peace of mind, don’t wait for them to apologize when dealing with a narcissist. And if the narcissist does apologize to you for the abuse, you need to be aware that the apology is not sincere. They are merely setting you up to hurt you again.

• How to start: Stay emotionally detached and remind yourself not to take their insults personally.

4. Detach from them

You may have to stay in contact with the narcissist because you have children together. To save your sanity, practice detachment in your communications with them. The best way to deal with a narcissistic husband or wife is not to hold long, detailed conversations.

• How to start: Focus only on necessary communication, especially when co-parenting or working together.

5. Pursue your own happiness

Do not count on the narcissists to do what they promise to do for you. They are only making promises to keep you entangled in the relationship. Instead, create your own happiness. Your focus should be on how to handle a narcissist and not finding a ‘happily-ever-after’ with them.

• How to start: Invest in your own goals, hobbies, and relationships that bring you joy.

6. Never show narcissists how their behavior affects you

Narcissists thrive on knowing that they emotionally influence others. For most people, knowing they are hurting someone makes them feel bad. Do not let them see your reaction to these behaviors. The best way to deal with situations like these is to ignore them.

• How to start: Maintain a neutral reaction and avoid giving them the emotional fuel they seek.

7. Be prepared to continually remind them of your boundaries

Typically, the narcissists will respect them for a while, but soon they will test your limits again and again. They are seeking a weakness so they can slip through the crack and denigrate you again.

It will be hard for you to have to keep “drawing the line in the sand, “but it is essential to show the narcissist you mean business.

• How to start: Keep reinforcing your limits consistently when dealing with a narcissist.

8. Forgive yourself for falling under their spell

And forgive them. Part of dealing with a narcissist involves letting go of the resentment they invoke in you. This resentment takes up valuable real estate in your soul, and that is what they want. You don’t need it.

• How to start: Let go of resentment, but keep the lessons to protect yourself from repeat patterns.

9. Let it go

Practice self-talk techniques to help you release your anger towards this flawed person. Remember that you cannot change a narcissist. They have developed this adaptive behavior due to something hurtful in their childhood. It has nothing to do with you.

• How to start: Use self-talk or journaling to release your frustration toward the narcissist’s behavior.

10. Be polite

Begin by talking to them politely instead of reacting to their behavior angrily. Listen to what they think and feel, and then gradually find a solution to it. Never fight or force them to do anything that is against their mindset.

• How to start: Start with a respectful tone, but clearly express your needs without backing down.

11. Question them

Narcissists are always conscious about their looks, their attitude, and their overall personality, but they may look awkward to others. So it’s important for us to ask them questions. 

Such questions will surely make them wonder about their behavior. Because they always want to look good, they will try to change themselves, but gradually.

• How to start: Ask reflective questions that make them pause and evaluate their behavior.

12. Opt for a ‘NO’ to many of their questions

Every time such people get approval for what they say, they get more spoiled, which makes living with a narcissist an uphill task at times. They believe that only they are correct, while others are against them. The best way to respond to a narcissist is to answer negatively. 

• How to start: Respond firmly with logic when they seek constant validation or agreement.

13. Develop empathy for others

While dealing with a narcissist, it must be taught to them that it’s okay to be an ordinary person. Empathy for others is necessary for building relationships with them. In addition to this, understanding others is vital; a narcissist must learn to walk in someone else’s shoes.

• How to start: Model empathy in your own interactions to subtly influence their awareness.

14. There’s no shame in visiting a psychologist

The answer to who we are is perceived through others’ eyes. Hence, if you get to pinpoint your narcissistic characteristics, then visit a psychologist who has the right experience in dealing with a narcissistic personality disorder. Discuss your problems and get rid of them.

• How to start: Encourage seeking help through open, non-judgmental conversations.

15. Practice self-care

It won’t do any good to invest your energies in a narcissist, as you will neither get any return nor any acknowledgment. In fact, it might even fire back. Considering narcissism is a disorder, the person will not be able to help themselves much either. 

• How to start: Block out time regularly for activities that relax and recharge you.

16. Cherish other relationships

Rather than focusing on one relationship and making it the only point and purpose of your life, it’s good to focus on other relationships, like those with friends and family. Value all your relationships and give them importance for a healthy balance.

• How to start: Reconnect with friends and family who offer mutual respect and support.

17. Stand up for yourself

Never bear anything wrong done to you. While you are dealing with a narcissist, it could be possible that a narcissist is hurting, demeaning, and dominating you wrongly due to their self-obsessive nature.

So, have enough confidence to put forth what is right and do not back down.

• How to start: Calmly call out disrespectful behavior and state how it makes you feel.

18. Know that you aren’t wrong

One way to deal with a narcissistic spouse is to stop blaming yourself for the failing relationship. It’s not your fault because the relationship is not working because love is a two-way street, and you can’t be the only one.

• How to start: Affirm your perspective when you’re gaslighted or made to feel at fault.

Watch this TED Talk by Ann Barnes, entrepreneur, who shares simple strategies for managing a narcissist with calm, clarity, and boundaries.

19. Believe actions, not promises

A narcissist might always assure you they will change or do something for you, but they could fail every time. So, don’t always go by the promises and only trust actions.

• How to start: Pay attention to patterns, not apologies, when evaluating trust.

What not to do when dealing with a narcissist?

When emotions run high, it’s easy to react in ways that actually feed the narcissist’s behavior instead of defusing it. Certain responses—like arguing, pleading, or trying to win their approval—can pull you deeper into their cycle of control.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, knowing what not to do is just as crucial as learning how to set boundaries. Avoiding these common pitfalls can save your energy, protect your self-worth, and keep you from getting emotionally entangled.

Check out the things that should be avoided while dealing with the narcissist:

• • Do not believe they will change: While hope is human, narcissists rarely change without deep, sustained therapy—and even then, growth is limited if they don’t recognize the problem.
  • Don’t behave like them to teach them a lesson: Mirroring their manipulation, silent treatment, or arrogance won’t fix anything—it only pulls you down to their level.

• Do not underestimate them: Narcissists can be calculating and persuasive. Don’t assume they won’t twist situations or manipulate others to maintain control.

• Don’t justify their behavior: Excusing their cruelty because of trauma or stress only enables the cycle and blurs your own sense of what’s acceptable.

• • Don’t expect them to apologize: Even when clearly at fault, narcissists often double down or shift blame. Waiting for a sincere apology will only lead to more frustration.
  • Don’t take their statements to heart: Their harsh words usually reflect their inner emptiness—not your worth. Protect your self-esteem by creating emotional distance.

• Don’t expect them to be loyal: Loyalty requires empathy, which narcissists often lack. They may betray, lie, or manipulate if it serves their self-interest.

FAQ

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure while dealing with a narcissist, you’re not alone. These common questions address the everyday challenges people face and offer practical, no-nonsense advice.

• How do I stay calm when dealing with a narcissist?

Focus on deep breathing, avoid reacting emotionally, and remind yourself that their behavior is about them—not you. Emotional detachment is often the best way to handle a narcissist in heated moments.

• Can a narcissist ever feel genuine empathy?

In most cases, narcissists lack true empathy, though they may mimic it when it serves them. This is why learning how to deal with a narcissist includes recognizing performance versus sincerity.

• Should I confront a narcissist about their behavior?

Only if your safety—emotional or physical—is not at risk. If you choose to confront them, stay factual and calm. When dealing with a narcissist, dramatic confrontations usually backfire.

Ending note

Dealing with a narcissist can feel like walking through a maze with no clear exit—but you’re not powerless. Whether you’re setting boundaries, detaching emotionally, or focusing on your own healing, every step you take is a move toward clarity and self-respect. 

You don’t have to match their energy, fix them, or lose yourself in the process. The best way to handle a narcissist isn’t about changing them—it’s about choosing how you respond. With the right tools and support, you can protect your peace and reclaim your power.