25+ Signs He Won’t Leave His Wife for You

Dating is a great thing! 

Scratch that. Love is a beautiful thing. It swoops in when you least expect it and takes you off your feet.

Love/dating can feel surreal until you discover that you are dating a married man. This discovery may leave a huge question in your mind; “Will he leave his wife for me?” You may look for signs he won’t leave his wife for you.

If you are currently in this position and wondering what your next steps should be, this article would reveal something interesting. This article will show you the telltale signs he won’t leave his wife for you.

If he manifests these signs in the relationship, you may want to take a few steps back and truly assess your situation. This way, you can decide the best course of action for yourself. 

Ultimately, dating a married person isn’t a good choice. The right thing to do is to end the relationship once you find he’s married, but knowing he shows the following signs can make it easier to do the right thing.

3 possible reasons he won’t let you go 

Ending a relationship with a married man who wants to have you on the side may be a vital step toward getting yourself together. Once you’ve seen the signs he won’t leave his wife for you, it is only logical that you begin looking for ways to exit the relationship.

He may put up some kind of resistance when you try to do this. Here are a few reasons why he won’t let you go either.

1. Comfort and relief from a toxic marriage

If he is indeed in a toxic marriage, there’s every possibility that you are how he lets off steam. If he comes to you to feel better, he may not be inclined toward letting you go either.

2. Validation and the feel-good effect 

If he is a narcissist, it is possible that he just keeps you around for the sake of having you there. If this is the case, he may not let you go anytime soon, even though you’ve clearly seen many of the signs he won’t leave his wife for you.

3. He likes you and enjoys having you around 

This may be the most genuine reason why he may not want to let you go immediately. If he truly loves you and likes being with you, he may want to push back when you try to end the relationship with him. 

Will a married man leave his wife for another woman?

Against your better judgment, you may have seen yourself falling and falling hard for a married man. Often, when this happens, you may not know that your male partner was married at the start of the relationship.

However, when those cards get played in the open, you may find yourself at a loss for what to do.

Most times, two scenarios may play out in your mind.

1. A part of you insists that you shouldn’t be in the relationship. This part of the mind hinges on morality and argues that being in these kinds of relationships is not only stressful but can create long-term challenges for both yourself and your married male partner. It’s also simply unethical. 
2. Another part of you may want to turn a blind eye to all the telltale signs you may have seen so far and just ride the waves of this relationship you are enjoying. After all, you’re probably shocked to learn that he’s married and you’ve already fallen in love. 

If you’re coming to terms with calling the relationship quits, it’s helpful to look for signs that he won’t leave his wife for you. Furthermore, if you see signs he is still sleeping with his wife, you can be sure that he isn’t willing to leave her. 

If you are looking out for the signs he will not leave his wife, we will be discussing a number of them in this article. But there isn’t exactly a one-way answer to this question; “will he leave his wife for me?”

25+ signs he won’t leave his wife for you

If you have been dating a married man who has promised that he would leave his wife to be with you, but he hasn’t followed through with his promise, you may want to pay closer attention to a few things.

Here are a few signs he won’t leave his wife, at least not for you.

1. He has told you so

If he has let it slip during your conversations with him that he wouldn’t leave his wife for you, the chances that he will are quite slim. Again, if he hasn’t ever brought up the topic of leaving his wife, he may not want to do that. 

2. He wants you only because of the physical aspects of things 

If the totality of your relationship with him is physical (you only have sex when he’s with you and never get around to just spending time together or doing things that intimate couples do), you may want to come to terms with the fact that he may not leave his wife. 

He’s probably using you to fulfill his impulsive gratifications.

3. He talks about his wife and family – a lot! 

Take a cue from how he talks about his wife and current family. Does he talk about them a lot when you are together? Does he talk about them in a fond way (maybe with a cute smile on his face and with soft, loving tones)?

If your answer to this question is a big ‘yes,’ that may be a sign that this guy loves his wife.’ 

4. He spends more time with her than he does with you

If he spends more time with her (significantly more time with them) than he does with you, it could also be a sign he won’t leave his wife for you. This cue is rather subtle, and you may not notice it if you don’t keep your eyes open.

5. He keeps postponing the divorce 

Does he tell you that he filed for divorce, but it’s not actually true? This is one of the most evident signs he won’t leave his wife for you.

It could even suggest that they may be working their way through their challenges, and he may even want to get back together with her for good (if they were separated in the first place).

It’s not unusual for a cheating man to lie about being separated or going through a divorce because he knows you’d never pursue him if you knew the truth. 

6. There will always be a valid excuse 

When you try to keep your feet on the ground and ask him when he would facilitate things (the divorce with his wife/coming to be with you fully), you may most likely get an excuse from him.

Many times, the excuse he’ll give may be valid. Underlying those excuses, however, could be the desire to stall and buy some time.

Watch how he reacts whenever the subject of future plans comes up. Does he always reach out for an excuse? That could be a sign that “he won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go.”

7. The emotional connection just isn’t there 

Does it feel as though there’s a big wall separating you from him emotionally (when you spend time together)? How does he react to you when you aren’t physical?

Have you ever tried broaching personal subjects like your life plans and ambitions with him? How did he react to these? If he seemed distant, that’s the only sign you need. 

If he always recoils and puts up an emotional wall between both of you, or if there’s a communication gap, it may be a sign that he isn’t yet prepared to leave his wife – at least not for you.  

8. He doesn’t prioritize you

If you take a critical look at the relationship and discover that everything is a priority (especially his wife), while he doesn’t place much value on you, it could be a sign that he won’t leave his wife.

Does his wife, career, job, family, and friends take more time and priority than you do? You may want to cut your losses and move on with your life before you get hurt.

9. He has children with his wife 

Will he leave his wife? Will he leave his wife when he already has children with her? Although it may be a difficult pill to swallow, the chances that he would do this are quite slim.

Having children with her is not a guarantee that he would stay with her, but it makes the relationship somewhat more difficult to walk out of.

Since they have children together, every responsible couple would think about the effects of their breakup/separation/divorce on their children. They may even be open to working things out for their family to remain one big and happy family.

If he has children with his wife, you may want to take that as a sign he won’t leave his wife.

10. You’re not his first external fling 

If he has a history of having affairs with people he’s not married to, it is a sign that breaking off with the married man would be your best course of action. Take some time to reflect on how he must have ended the last affair he had.

He may have made these promises to his past lover without keeping them. If this is the case, you may want to start looking for ways to cut your losses so you don’t get hurt when the chips are down.

11. You aren’t his only lover at the moment 

One of the biggest red flags that would show you that he wouldn’t end up with you is if he has affairs with other people at the moment.

Having other people aside from his wife and yourself indicates that he isn’t likely to leave his wife and end up with you. Serial cheating is probably his pattern, and he’s used to getting away with it. 

12. He would choose his wife over you

One of the signs he won’t leave his wife is that he would choose her over you, any day and at any time.

If both of you (his wife and yourself) have the same needs simultaneously, you will find him solving the problem for his wife first. He may come back to help you solve yours, or he may not.

If this happens a significant number of times, you may want to start thinking of breaking it off with the married man.  

13. Lies and disappointment characterize your relationship 

Lying and deceit can tear almost all relationships apart with the speed of light.

As a result, no relationship will blossom on a bed of lies. If he makes a habit of telling you lies, even for the small things, it could be a sign that he doesn’t want to settle with you.

Consider calling the relationship off and cutting your losses if you notice that he has a habit of telling lies. Please do not try to make excuses for him.

14. His future plans mainly involve his wife and current family 

As much as he may try to run away from conversations about any future with you, one sign he won’t leave his wife is that he talks about a future that still includes them.

Does he talk about relocating with his family? Setting up a business for his wife? Taking vacations with them?

Does he talk about the long-term plans they have made? If yes, ending your relationship with the married man may be your best bet. 

15. Your relationship is mostly a secret

Another sign that you may soon get dumped by a married man is that your relationship with him is mostly a secret. Take some time to carry out a simple analysis.

Do the people that matter in his life know about you? Do his friends and close allies know that he’s together with you, or are all the times you’ve spent with him during those few moments that he sneaks out and up to you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to the latter, you might want to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship.

16. He still acts like a married man

Does he still hang out with his family (and wife especially)? Take them to public events and show them off to the people he meets? Does he go with them on vacations but spend little to no time with you? Yes?

That may be a sign he won’t leave his wife and family just yet. 

17. Ask him, ‘Why?’

This point may seem a bit unrelated, but if you’re asking the ‘will he leave his wife for me’ question, you must ask him ‘why.’

What does he say when you ask him why he wants to leave his wife? Does he have any tangible reasons for this? Here’s the thing. There’s every possibility that he will come up with many reasons why he wants out of his marriage when you ask him.

The excuses may range from ‘no longer being happy in the marriage’ to ‘news about how evil his wife is.’

While there are many sides to this coin, it is necessary to spend some time with yourself after these conversations with him. For the best results, do not rush into making any decisions until you have thought things through.

18. Explicit admission

When a married man explicitly states that he won’t leave his wife for you, it’s a stark acknowledgment of his priorities. It indicates a clear understanding on his part that he doesn’t envision a future commitment with you, providing a blunt but crucial perspective on the relationship’s limits.

19. Physical focus

A relationship centered on physical intimacy rather than emotional connection suggests that he may see you as a temporary escape rather than a potential life partner. If meaningful activities and shared experiences are lacking, it may underscore his focus on momentary gratification.

20. Excessive mention of family

Continually praising his wife and family with fondness during your time together signals a deep emotional attachment to his current life. Such positive references indicate a strong bond, making it less likely for him to sever ties and commit to a new relationship.

21. Time allocation

If he consistently spends more time with his existing family than with you, it indicates a hesitancy to prioritize building a connection with you. This time imbalance reflects a reluctance to invest in a future together, revealing potential reservations about leaving his current marriage.

22. Deferred divorce

Multiple delays in the divorce process, especially if claims about filing are untrue, suggest a lack of commitment to follow through on promises. This delay tactic may indicate an unwillingness to take the necessary steps toward a separation, maintaining the status quo.

23. Persistent excuses

Regularly providing seemingly valid excuses when questioned about future plans reveals a potential desire to stall. These excuses, while possibly legitimate, might mask an underlying reluctance to commit, creating a prolonged state of uncertainty.

24. Emotional distance

Emotional walls and disinterest in personal discussions showcase a reluctance to connect on a deeper, more meaningful level. This is one of the possible signs he won’t divorce his wife.

If he consistently appears distant or unresponsive when discussions extend beyond the physical realm, it suggests he may not be emotionally prepared to leave his current marriage.

25. Low priority

Consistently ranking lower in his list of priorities compared to his existing commitment – whether to his wife, career, or social circles – implies that he does not value a potential future with you enough to make the necessary adjustments. 

If you are looking for signs he will leave his wife for you, assess whether he treats you as a priority. A lack of prioritization signals a potential reluctance to leave his current marriage for a more committed relationship.

26. Children in the equation

If he has children with his wife, the complexities of shared parenthood may significantly influence his decision-making. While not an absolute barrier, having children together can create emotional ties that make leaving the marriage more challenging. 

Responsible parents often prioritize stability for their children, making it less likely for them to disrupt family dynamics, even if the marriage is strained. Acknowledging the impact on children can be a critical factor influencing his reluctance to leave his wife for a new relationship.

Watch this video to learn more about how divorce affects the mental health of children:

Why is it important to know the signs he won’t leave his wife for you?

Recognizing signs that he won’t leave his wife is crucial for emotional well-being and realistic expectations. If he avoids discussions about a future, prioritizes his family over your relationship, or maintains secrecy, it signals his commitment to the existing marriage.

Will a man leave his wife for you? Looking for the right signs can give you insight into how he will act. 

Understanding these signs prevents investing in an unfulfilling relationship and allows you to make informed decisions about your own happiness. It protects against potential heartbreak, fostering self-respect and enabling the pursuit of connections with individuals genuinely available for a committed partnership. 

Awareness of these signs empowers you to navigate relationships wisely and prioritize your emotional health.

What are the risks of staying in a relationship with a man who won’t leave his wife?

Staying in a relationship with a married man unwilling to leave his wife poses significant emotional, psychological, and practical risks. Emotional distress often arises from the secrecy and the impossibility of establishing a genuine, committed connection. The inherent instability can lead to anxiety, guilt, and low self-esteem. 

Additionally, such relationships can perpetuate a cycle of deception, eroding trust. The lack of a clear future can hinder personal growth and long-term planning. Social stigma and judgment may also affect mental well-being. 

Ultimately, the absence of commitment jeopardizes emotional fulfillment, and the toll on mental health may outweigh any perceived benefits.

What to do when he won’t leave his wife

There may not be an easy answer to this. However, your next course of action after you’ve seen the signs he won’t leave his wife for you would be to call it quits.

To be successful with this, you must know what to say when breaking up with a married man, make him see things from your perspective, and endeavor to step away from the picture before you get too deep into the relationship.

This may be a hard decision, but it will pay off in the long run. After all, as Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen, a doctoral-level social worker and psychology expert, explains,

The chances of having a successful relationship when it begins as an affair are slim to none. This man belongs to his wife and family and not to you. 

FAQs

Navigating relationships with married individuals involves complex considerations. Questions about waiting for commitment, unexpected pregnancies, and legal rights underscore the challenges inherent in such situations.

• How long should I wait for him to leave his wife?

Patience varies but set realistic boundaries. If commitment remains uncertain after a reasonable period, reevaluate your needs and the sustainability of the relationship. 

• What should I do if I’m pregnant by a married man?

Open communication is vital. Discuss options together, considering the well-being of all involved. Seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities regarding the child.

• What are the legal rights of a mistress?

Legal rights for mistresses are limited. Focus on personal well-being and consult legal counsel for advice tailored to your specific circumstances. Keep expectations realistic, as laws primarily protect the rights of married couples.

The bottom line 

Do you want to avoid getting dumped by a married man? Breaking it off with a married man isn’t the most straightforward task you can carry out, especially if you have strong feelings for him.

However, you must take a stand when it is evident he won’t get a divorce. This article has discussed the telltale signs he won’t leave his wife for you.

If you see these, you may have to cut your losses and walk out ASAP.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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