Gaslighting is a term that has become more common in the pop psychology world. It essentially describes a manipulation that occurs in abusive relationships, in which the abuser makes the victim question their own reality. One person may deny making a statement they did make, or they might convince the other person that they are “crazy” or too sensitive.If you don’t have a healthy relationship with your parents or have suffered from emotional abuse, the “Are My Parents Gaslighting Me?” quiz can provide you with some insight.
1. How would your parents react if you caught them in a lie?
A. They would probably make an excuse.
B. They would apologize.
C. They would say that I was making things up.
2. If your parents don’t disagree with something you do, how would they respond?
A. Leave me to make my own decisions. I am an adult.
B. Tell me that everyone thinks I am making bad choices, even if it wasn’t true.
C. They might make me feel guilty for going against their wishes, even though I am an adult.
3. You politely confront your parents about something they said that was incredibly hurtful. How do they respond?
A. They would start yelling and rant about how I am crazy and needed to develop a thicker skin.
B. They would listen to what I have to say and express that they didn’t mean to hurt me.
C. They shrug it off, and I don’t feel heard.
4. You become upset with your parents because they show up at your house unannounced when you’re in the middle of a virtual meeting for work. How do they respond to your being upset?
A. My parents would never come over unannounced in the first place.
B. They would shout something like, “Calm down! You’re overreacting!”
C. They might be offended and would make me feel bad for yelling.
5. You have an argument, during which one of your parents shoves you into the wall. You confront them about this incident. What would their most likely response be?
A. They would deny the whole thing. They would explain that I was acting crazy, and they had to steady me, which caused me to fall accidentally.
B. They would apologize, and I would accept it because it is extremely unlikely that my parents would push me.
C. They would acknowledge their mistake and apologize, but it might happen again.
6. Has your relationship with your parents positively or negatively affected your self-esteem?-
A. Mostly positive. We have a pretty good relationship.
B. Sometimes my interactions with them are beneficial for my self-esteem; other times they are harmful. It depends on how we are getting along.
C. My relationship with my parents is so negative that I often feel insecure that everyone may think I am crazy, unlovable, and of no value.
7. Do you ever feel confused when talking to your parents?
A. All the time. I don’t know if my parents are making things up or I am as bad as they say I am.
B. Sometimes I question if I am to blame when we aren’t getting along, but I generally don’t feel too confused.
C. No, this isn’t something I have experienced.
8. You point out to one of your parents that they were rude to you in front of others. How do they respond to you?
A. They would be caught off guard as they truly wouldn’t have realized that they were rude.
B. They shift the blame to me and talk about how rude I was as a child.
C. They might be offended and tell me that I am a child, even if I am an adult now.
9. How often do you start to question yourself and wonder if your memory of events is wrong?
A. I often feel this way and question whether I remember events differently than how they actually happened.
B. I occasionally wonder if I am too sensitive or making a bigger deal than I should out of things that have happened in the past.
C. I never feel this way.
10. You have a significant disagreement with your parents, and they say some hurtful things to you. When discussing the situation later on, how will they most likely act?
A. They apologize, explain that they didn’t mean what they said in the heat of the moment, and promise to do better next time.
B. They would deny that they ever said anything hurtful. My parents are likely to blame me for the argument.
C. They might give a half-hearted apology and make me feel guilty about the time I said some not-so-nice things to them.