Gaslighting is a severe issue. If you are worried that it is happening to you, it is essential that you look into it and either remove yourself from the situation, or get someone else involved, and if you feel safe to confront the person about it, just do it.
Gaslighting happens when someone tries to make you doubt your reality. It is a form of emotional abuse, and though we often associate it with romantic partners, anyone can gaslight you; a parent, a friend, or even a boss. Make sure that you take time to heal, perhaps through therapy or through time and distance. Find what you need to be healthy.
Take this 'Am I being gaslighted?' quiz to have a clearer picture.
1. Do you wonder if you are good enough?
A. I know I’m great
B. Sometimes I feel a bit insecure but ultimately I feel I’m good
C. I constantly am thinking about this; I feel super insecure; I never used to question my worth this much
2. Do you often feel guilty or responsible for the other person's behavior or emotions?
A. Yes, I constantly blame myself for how they act or feel.
B. Sometimes, I find myself questioning if I caused their actions.
C. No, I believe everyone is responsible for their own behavior and emotions.
3. Has this person isolated you from friends or family?
A. Yes, I rarely see my friends or family anymore.
B. Sometimes, they encourage me to spend more time with them instead.
C. No, I still have a healthy social life outside of this person.
4. Do you feel like you have changed since they came into your life?
A. Definitely. I feel sadder; more anxious. I feel like I am having less fun
B. Yes, I’m so much happier. I feel great and at ease, and totally secure in myself
C. I don’t think I have changed that much; I mean I changed of course, but there's nothing overwhelming about it
5. Do you feel drained and exhausted after spending time with this person?
A. Yes, their presence makes me feel emotionally exhausted.
B. At times, I feel drained, but it's not constant.
C. No, I feel energized and happy after spending time with them.
6. Do you have trouble making decisions when this person is involved?
A. Yes
B. At times
C. Not at all
7. Has this person told you that you are too emotional, or you are overreacting?
A. Yes
B. At times
C. Rarely
8. Do you avoid telling your family and friends about this person to avoid trouble?
A. All the time
B. Sometimes
C. Not really
9. Do you feel confused or think you are crazy?
A. Yes
B. At times
C. Not really
10. Do you withhold information from this person to avoid a troubling situation?
A. Yes
B. Mostly
C. Never
11. Do you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you didn't do or that aren't your fault?
A. Yes, I apologize even when I know I didn't do anything wrong.
B. Sometimes, I find myself saying sorry to avoid conflict.
C. No, I only apologize when I genuinely make a mistake.
12. Have you noticed a change in your self-esteem since being in this relationship?
A. Yes, I feel my self-esteem has significantly decreased.
B. At times, I feel less confident, but it's not constant.
C. No, my self-esteem remains stable and healthy.
13. Are you constantly questioning yourself?
A. Yes, I don’t feel stable in my opinions at all
B. I definitely question myself about some things
C. No, I feel pretty certain
14. Does this person often say you are crazy or too sensitive?
A. No, never
B. Yes, every time I critique them they say I am too sensitive or that I am imagining things
C. At times they have commented I was being hypersensitive
15. Would you say this person is hypocritical (more so than most)?
A. Yeah, they constantly are holding me to standards they don’t hold themselves to
B. Actually, they are less hypocritical than most people
C. They are a bit hypocritical but that doesn't feel very uncomfortable.
16. Do they blame you for things they did?
A. No, why would they do that?
B. Sometimes it seems like that is happening, but just occasional little things
C. They do try to tell me that I did all these things and when I think back to it, it seems like they actually did them
17. Do they dominate any conversation you two have?
A. Yes, I barely get to speak at times
B. They are a bit dominant, but I feel like I get to talk sometimes.
C. Not at all, they are a pretty good listener
18. How often do you apologize to them?
A. When I do something wrong I apologize, but I don’t think it happens too often
B. I find myself apologizing to them a lot; they constantly make me feel like I did something bad, so I have to apologize to make things better
C. I guess I apologize more than average, it’s not constant though
19. What do your friends think?
A. Well, they don’t approve, sometimes I mentioned things and it felt like they were freaking out, so now I either avoid talking about it or I lie.
B. They don’t love it, but we can still discuss it.
C. They think everything seems pretty normal and I tell them almost everything
20. Do they put you down?
A. No, they are really kind actually.
B. Occasionally they do; just in minor ways
C. They do. Sometimes even right after they have complimented me, they put me down in public and privately
