Gaslighting is a severe issue. If you are worried that it is happening to you, it is essential that you look into it and either remove yourself from the situation, get someone else involved, and if you feel safe to confront the person about it.
Gaslighting happens when someone tries to make you doubt your reality. It is a form of emotional abuse, and though we often associate it with romantic partners, anyone can gaslight you, a parent, a friend, or a boss. Make sure that you take time to heal, perhaps through therapy, or through time and distance. Find what you need to be healthy.
Take this Am I Being Gaslighted Quiz to have a clearer picture.
1. Do you wonder if you are good enough?
A. I know I’m great
B. Sometimes I feel a bit insecure, a bit more than I used to, but ultimately I feel I’m good.
C. I constantly am thinking about this, I feel super insecure, I never used to question my worth this much
2. Do you feel like you have changed since they came into your life?
A. Definitely, I feel sadder, more anxious, I feel like I am having less fun.
B. I don’t think I have changed that much, I mean I change of course, but nothing that is overwhelming.
C. Yes, I’m so much happier, I feel great, I feel at ease and feel totally secure in myself.
3. Do you have trouble making decisions when this person is involved?
B. At times
C. Not at all
4. Has this person told you that you are too sensitive or you are overreacting?
B. At times
5. Do you avoid telling your family and friends about this person to avoid trouble?
A. All the time
C. Not really
6. Do you feel confused or think you are crazy?
B. At times
C. Not really
7. Do you withhold information from the person to avoid a troubling situation?
8. Are you constantly questioning yourself?
A. Yes, I don’t feel stable in my opinions at all
B. I definitely question myself about some things
C. No, I feel pretty certain
9. Does this person often say you are crazy or too sensitive?
A. No, never
B. Yes, every time I critique them they say I am too sensitive or that I am imagining things
C. At times they have commented I was being hypersensitive
10. Would you say this person is hypocritical (more so than most)?
A. Yeah, they constantly are holding me to standards they don’t hold themselves to
B. Actually, they are less hypocritical than most people
C. They are a bit hypocritical for sure.
11. Do they blame you for things they did?
A. No, why would they do that?
B. Sometimes it seems like that is happening, but just occasional little things
C. They do try to tell me that I did all these things and when I think back to it, it seems like they actually did them
12. Do they dominate any conversation you two have?
A. Yes, I barely get to speak it seems like
B. They are a bit dominant, but I feel like I get to talk sometimes.
C. Not at all, they are a pretty good listener
13. How often do you apologize to them?
A. When I do something, wrong I apologize, but I don’t think it happens too often
B. I find myself apologizing to them a lot, they constantly make me feel like I did something bad, so I have to apologize to make things better
C. I guess I apologize more than average, it’s not constant though
14. What do your friends think?
A. Well, they don’t approve, sometimes I mentioned things and it felt like they were freaking out, so now I either avoid talking about it or I lie.
B. They don’t love it, but we can still discuss it.
C. They think everything seems pretty normal and I tell them like everything
15. Do they put you down?
A. No, they are really kind actually.
B. Occasionally they do, just in small ways
C. They do, sometimes even right after they have complimented me, they put me down in public and privately, it can be really wearing