The relationship between a narcissistic individual and another person can seem very confusing, especially for the ones that are in it. After the fairytale ends, both people can feel trapped in a psychological warzone of abuse. Sometimes, the narcissistic individual may play the victim, or the victim might feel like they are being dominant. Take this 'Am I Narcissistic or a Victim' quiz to determine which category you are in.
1. How does your friends treat you?
A. They follow me. I’m mostly like a leader to them
B. They treat me nicely. We gel up quite well
C. I’m the shy one in my group
2. How important is money to you?
A. Life is nothing without money
B. Very important but not everything revolves around money
C. I’m very modest when it comes to money
3. Do you ever reflect on your shortcomings?
A. No, I don’t find any in myself
B. Sometimes
C. Often
4. How do you feel when your partner compliments you?
A. I hardly care. They do that all the time
B. I feel good and say thankyou
C. I feel delighted because it’s very rare
5. If something bad happens because of you or your actions, how do you feel?
A. I feel usual. Mistakes happen. No big deal about it
B. I would feel bad and will apologies for my actions
C. I would feel guilty and afraid of what people would think of me
6. How do you feel when you are with your partner?
A. I feel safe and know that even if we fight, we will talk it out eventually.
B. I am constantly on the alert, feeling drained and worried.
C. I feel pretty okay, as I make sure that I am in control so nothing can get me off guard.
7. What is your attitude towards their family and friends?
A. I am trying to get to know them and keep a good tone of voice.
B. I am careful with them as my partner is constantly watching over my conduct with them.
C. I don’t care about them and don’t want them messing up our lives.
8. When you and this person go out in public-
A. We mostly have a good time with other people, no drama.
B. I finally get the chance to complain about them in front of other people.
C. They make offensive comments about me in front of other people and then laugh it off.
9. When in an argument, do you tend to second-guess yourself?
A. Rarely, as I am very aware of my position.
B. Actually, I do that all the time.
C. Of course not; I’m always right.
10. Do you sometimes put the other person’s needs before your own?
A. I am more important than others - so my needs always come first.
B. We both do that for the other and still respect our own needs.
C. I do that all the time - I may even be forgetting to take care of myself in the process.
11. When they fail at something, you-
A. I support them through the bad stuff and then motivate them to keep moving on.
B. I try to console them, although they have never done it for me.
C. I tell them that they are not good enough and they should not expect anything different.
12. If they tell you that what you’re doing is not good or you are being a certain way, you-
A. I feel guilty and worthless. I will do everything to fix things.
B. How can they say such a thing? It’s not me; it’s them that are being like this.
C. I recognize my fault. I think of ways to do better next time and think objectively.
13. Does the phrase ‘You are too sensitive’ sound familiar to you?
A. Yes, they love saying that to me when I stand up for myself.
B. I recognize it but not in my relationships with people.
C. Of course, I use it all the time.
14. How about denying that something ever happened?
A. Most of the time, I recall a completely different situation.
B. If one of us is tired or distracted, yes.
C. They refuse to admit that they have said or done something, so they say I am the crazy one.
15. In a situation when you feel your personal space and rights have been violated, you-
A. Freeze completely and rarely say something to defend yourself.
B. Stand up for yourself and exert healthy boundaries.
C. You can always twist it and become the powerful side.
