7 Secrets to a Successful Marriage
A successful marriage is necessary for a family to coexist peacefully. After all, an unhappy marriage doesn’t only take a heavy toll on the children but also creates an unpleasant environment in the house. A successful marriage, on the other hand, is the foundation of a happy family.
Here are the 7 secrets to a successful marriage:
1. Hang in there
Sometimes, circumstances get tough and couples do not quite know what to do. The first instinct may be to lose hope. This, subsequently, causes a considerable amount of stress and anxiety for both partners. In such situations, the very first step should be to establish the fact that no matter how hard things get, the solution will be sought together. As soon as you have decided upon that, a bond of unity forms automatically and the entire discourse takes a transition from ‘me’ and ‘you’ to ‘us’.
2. Ask for forgiveness
Pope Francis once said, “In life, we make so many errors, many mistakes…We learn to recognize our mistakes and apologize. ‘Sorry if I raised my voice today,’ ‘I’m sorry if I went without saying goodbye,’ ‘I’m sorry if I’m late,’ ‘If I have been so unresponsive this week,’ ‘If I talked too much without ever listening,’ ‘Excuse me, I forgot,’ ‘I was angry and I’m sorry I’ve taken it out on you’… This is how a Christian family grows,”. These are a few instances when we should learn to say sorry.
Married couples should never go to bed without making peace if things weren’t so great during the day. It is extremely important to sort matters out so that they don’t spill over to the next day.
3. Show gratitude
Showing gratitude is immensely important in every relationship – and even more so in a marriage. It is one of the most simple acts of kindness that costs nothing and brings lasting rewards. It is simply a matter of really looking at your partner and really feeling grateful for this person in your life – who makes life beautiful in many little and big ways. Feeling a sense of gratitude and joy is about never taking your partner for granted and celebrating your life every day.
Ideally, a couple should acknowledge things they constantly do for each other, the sacrifices they make and the compromises they agree on. This not only exudes empathy and goodwill but also strengthens the bond.
4. Let go of the past
Very often, people in relationships hold grudges from the past. This not only brings in a negative vibe in between but it also holds the two parties from moving on and progressing in life. Until and unless, a couple decides to let go of the past and forgets whatever happened, they will never be able to look forward to forming a healthy relationship.
Letting go of what has been done is extremely crucial to forming a strong and a stable relationship. This includes resolving fights at the end of the day and letting go of seemingly minor grudges that partners may have against each other.
5. Spend some time apart
Another tactic that my father always taught me was to give each other some space. Staying close to each other all the time and spending every single second of your lives together may sound like the most romantic idea, but it’s not.
It is highly recommended to take a vacation or a break every few months. My father, for instance, invites his work colleagues for a picnic outside of town every six months and encourages my mother to do the same. This not only gives both of them a break from their usual, monotonous lives but also a break from one another. Putting some distance between yourself and your partner for a few days will make you grow closer to each other.
6. Lower expectations
Sometimes, we forget that the person we are committed to, is also a human and start expecting a bit too much from them. We must not forget that they have their own busy lives and hence, they cannot provide us the attention and love we demand all time.
Moreover, being moody is part of being human and if you cannot tolerate the different mood swings your spouse experiences at different times of the month, then you really need to reevaluate how accommodating you are. Hence, the first step of a relationship is to compromise and accept that your significant other’s low phases are part and parcel of married life.
So, if your spouse is upset over an issue and doesn’t want to discuss it with you, you can consider sitting down with him/her and resolving their worries over a cup of chamomile tea.
7. Turn problems into opportunities
Many couples make the big mistake of viewing conflicts in a negative light. The very word carries a negative connotation with it and leads us to think about it in the same way. However, conflict is more important to a relationship than you think. It offers both the parties an opportunity to grow, get closer to one another and, most importantly, a chance to know each other better.
Nothing brings a couple closer than resolving conflicts. It also lets them know the behaviors they dislike in one another so they can be avoided in the future.
Sustaining a healthy relationship is not easy. Everyone has their respective inhibitions and weaknesses. The only way to a strong, lasting and healthy relationship is to be more vocal and let one another know exactly what is bothering them at all times. Vocalizing helps to resolve a number of issues that you do not even know exist!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.