Saving your troubled marriage is certainly not easy as a couple goes through endless ebbs and flows. Despite what many people may think; domestic violence, emotional abuse and infidelity are a reality and a big cause for divorce among couples.
Abusive behaviour can be in any form; emotional, physical or financial. It can affect the wellbeing of your marriage, your mental state and can impact your life deeply. This article explains different types of abuse and how women should tackle them. Should you save your marriage? Read on.
1. Physical abuse
Domestic violence or physical abuse is often done when your husband tries to control you. He clearly has an anger issue and uses violence as a means to control his partner and solve issues, on his terms. If you’re husband is abusive he will try to threaten you, arouse fear in you and always try to wear you down. This can result in depression and destroy your self-esteem.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, the first step is to recognize it at its earliest stage. Do not stand it at all and take measures for your safety. Communication is important and so is involving a marriage counselor (if you think the issue can be solved with therapy). If it does not, then do NOT think twice and get out of the marriage. It’s important that a woman respects her life, her worth and her sanity.
2. Verbal abuse
Does your husband yell at you or treat you badly in front of his friends and family? Does he use foul language and belittle you? Does he blame you for his own abusive behavior? These are signs of verbal abuse.
Sit with your spouse and correct him then and there to stop this treatment. Use I statements, instead of you, and communicate how this deeply affects your relationship – and all of its other aspects. It could be that your husband grew in an atmosphere where verbal abuse was tolerated or just how men spoke. Set the right tone at home and be a positive influence on him. Seek marriage counseling, if you must.
3. Financial abuse
Forced career choices, tracking on every single penny, having forced families (so the woman can’t work) no separate accounts are only a few signs that tell you’re in a financially abusive marriage. This is a serious concern for women who are dependent on their husbands.
Most women ignore or don’t even realise this form of abuse. Seek help of trusted family friends and counselors immediately. Stand up for yourself and ensure you are independent in some way or the other, keep a separate bank account (that only you access). If nothing works & your partner is way too controlling, then leave. Such marriages can never succeed or become equitable since so much of it is about power and control.
4. Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse includes extreme moodiness, yelling, rejection, refusing to communicate, making mean jokes, making everything your fault and being generally unkind to your spouse. This can be as shattering as physical abuse.
How can you save your marriage then? Seek immediate professional help; go for marriage counseling as your spouse needs to reflect on his actions & change his treatment towards you. If not, then know that you deserve better. Try your best to help him and the situation but if it does not work out at all, then it’s wise to move on!