Whether you have been with your partner for six months or six years (or more!), romance is important in a relationship. It is the vital fuel that keeps a relationship moving forward. It keeps a relationship lively, exciting and meaningful. Romantic gestures by your partner make you feel desired, loved and cared for; they remind you that your partner has not only chosen you but appreciates your presence in their life.
What are some ways to include romance in your relationship?
After a few years of married life, it is not uncommon for the romance and the excitement of the relationship to decreasing to a slow sizzle. However, a little effort can bring back the fresh spark of romance that you once enjoyed. Once you realize the importance of romance in a relationship you can implement these suggestions that can help you rekindle that wonderful feeling of romance.
1. Plan date nights
After a week of long days at your workplace, the thought of getting dressed up and leaving your house (and the children) to go to a nice restaurant can seem like an enormous effort. But if you do this, you will feel young, alive and as if you are regaining your identity as a sexual being. Having dinner with your spouse in a romantic setting can greatly benefit your relationship, as it provides you with one-on-one time with each other where you can focus on one of the most important facets of your life – your couple.
2. Change your bedroom routine
For many long-term married couples, sex can become a bit ho-hum. You know what to do to turn each other on, and time is short, so you go through the steps just to “get the job done.” This attitude, while expedient, can be very damaging to your relationship. You each need to feel desired and attractive, so spend time upping the romantic part of your lovemaking. Go back to all the preliminaries that you so enjoyed at the beginning of your relationship. Seduce each other slowly. Use your words to express what you like, where you like it, why you like it, and how well your partner does this or that. Change your intimacy pattern. Introduce new things – positions, sex toys, the sharing of fantasies, role-playing.
3. Don’t neglect your appearance
Long-married couples have the gift of feeling secure in their relationships. This is one of the great things about being married – you don’t feel the need to impress your partner each time you see each other. Remember those early dates where you spend hours in front of your closet, pulling out and trying on various outfits?
Remember the attention you gave to your physical look, with trips to the hairdresser, a splurge at the makeup counter, the purchasing of pretty underwear? When was the last time you indulged in any of that? Bring some romance back into your relationship by going back, at least a bit, to those dating days. Pay attention to your appearance. It will bring back some excitement into your relationship (especially if you show up at your next date night with some lacy lingerie under your new dress).
4. Participate in a common hobby
When it seems like everything has become very boring and monotonous in your relationship, research a new hobby, sport or challenge that neither of you has tried before. Train for a 10K race (walking or running), dedicate some time each evening to working on a jigsaw puzzle together, play a video game together, practice couples yoga. The goal is to have more fun together and draw you closer.
5. Surprise each other with small gifts or gestures
These don’t need to be flashy or expensive. Just a little love note on a post-it near his briefcase, or a surprise pizza delivered to her office when you know she is rushed at lunchtime and can’t get out, these small things can pack a huge romantic punch because they say “I’m thinking of you.”
That’s right, flirt with your spouse. You forgot about that lost art, right? There are few things more romantic than some sexy flirting. Flirt with each other as you brush your teeth together in the evenings. (Maybe a little bottom-pinching, or a sly hand grazing his sensitive areas?) Flirt when you are settling in to watch your favorite show – place your hand on their thigh and give it a little squeeze. Flirt with a text exchange during the day…”Can’t wait to be next to you in bed tonight!” All of these will help you understand the importance of romance in a relationship and remember what it was like to be in the fresh bloom of love when romance was high and you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Bring it back!
7. Tell your spouse why you love them
There are many ways you can communicate your love to your partner, in addition to the simple “I love you.” How about “I love how you take such good care of all of us”, or “I love your sexy smell” or “I appreciate that you remember to take out the recycling each week.” The point is to communicate to your partner that you see them, you appreciate them, and you never take them for granted.
When both partners remember to keep the romantic part alive in the relationship, to make each other happy and feeling loved, this translates into a lasting and satisfying relationship. Importance of romance in a relationship cannot be emphasized enough. Couples that make efforts to keep the romance alive get rewarded with happy and fulfiling relationships.