Did you and your partner have a big fight or have broken up, and you miss him so much now? Or have you felt that he lacks feelings for you even though you are together?
You likely have tried to rekindle things but he has been unresponsive. If you’ve tried contacting him many times, but he doesn’t respond, or he sounds different when he does, you may wonder, “I miss him, but he doesn’t miss me.”
But how can you be sure that he doesn’t feel the same way? Read on to understand the signs he doesn’t miss you.
What does it mean when he doesn’t say I miss you back?
It feels great when you tell someone you miss them and express that they feel the same. However, you could feel foolish when you tell your partner you miss him, and he doesn’t say it back. You would want to know, why doesn’t he miss me?
If your partner doesn’t respond after telling him that you miss him, it might mean that he doesn’t like you as much as you thought. He doesn’t miss you if he sees someone else.
Not saying he misses you back can also mean that he is shy. He doesn’t know how to express that he misses you, too. That’s why it’s best not to conclude and try to understand the signs he doesn’t miss you.
15 painful signs he doesn’t miss you
There are signs that will tell you he doesn’t miss you at all. Although these signs are unpleasant, knowing them will help you determine your next steps.
Observe your man’s behavior and look for these signs to be sure that he doesn’t miss you.
1. You always start the conversation
One of the obvious signs he doesn’t miss you is when you always start the conversation and initiate checking how he is. If this is the case, you can be less active in doing this and see if he’ll do something.
You may safely assume that he doesn’t miss you if he doesn’t try to contact you even after days of not communicating.
If he doesn’t call or send you a message to check how you are, you can tell yourself, “He doesn’t miss me when we’re apart.” When couples long for each other, they would want to talk to their significant other and know what they’ve been doing.
If he doesn’t try to reach out to you, it means he doesn’t want to hear from you.
3. He’s busy all the time
Although you reach out to him first, he’ll always tell you he’s doing something or show you how busy he is. Unless he’s too busy not to eat, drink, or rest, he should give time to talk with you. He won’t be too busy to talk to you if he misses you.
4. He seems to be distracted when you’re together
You can understand how much he loves and misses you and wants to be with you when he shows the right amount of attention. One of the signs he doesn’t miss you is when he’s always busy doing other things when you chat with him.
His mind is likely wandering if you always wonder if he’s there when you’re talking. He’ll excuse himself from all the distractions if he misses and respects you.
5. He doesn’t give genuine excuses
You can tell yourself, “I miss him but he doesn’t miss me,” when he gives a lot of excuses or becomes defensive when you confront him about his communication methods.
6. Long-drawn-out responses to your phone calls or messages
Another clear sign that he doesn’t miss you is when it takes him very long before he returns your phone calls or messages. This is especially true when you know he is not at the office or doing anything that requires much of his attention.
However, this doesn’t mean he should answer you when you call or send a message. If he misses you, he’ll promptly reply to you if he can.
Research conducted at Princeton University shows that men and women may have different approaches and perceptions regarding text messaging. So, factor in these differences before drawing a conclusion.
Check out this video by Relationship Expert Stephan Labossiere to learn more about why he doesn’t reply to your texts:
7. He is unresponsive to your phone calls or messages
Delayed responses to your calls and messages differ from not responding to you at all. You may continuously call or text him to check if he receives any of your calls or messages.
8. He doesn’t initiate plans
One of the signs he doesn’t miss you is when you’re always the one who thinks of date ideas or where to hang out. He wants you to deal with all the plans all the time.
It’s okay if you’re the one who wants to be creative and think of fun date ideas. However, if you feel that he is just forced to go out with you, he doesn’t find the need to be with you.
9. He always forgets special events
People who are important to you will rarely forget special events such as birthdays, anniversaries, and other special celebrations. If you often hear him apologizing for forgetting your birthday or anniversary, he likely doesn’t think of you at all.
Another red flag is when he opts to celebrate his birthday with his friends and doesn’t consider giving time to celebrate it with you.
A man who misses your presence will want to visit you. This is truer if you also visit him. Therefore, a telltale sign that he doesn’t miss you is when you’re the only one who makes time and effort to visit him, and he doesn’t mind not visiting you.
11. He doesn’t want you to visit him
When your partner misses you, he’s excited to see you or when you visit. He misses being intimate with you, but he also misses spending quality time with you because he’s longing for your company.
Do you question, “Does he miss me when we’re apart?”
If you constantly hear excuses from him for you not to come over, that means he doesn’t want to see you.
12. He wants to end conversations right away
Men can’t get enough of their partners when they miss them. Even though there are time constraints, they would want to keep the conversation going.
If you don’t see this when you’re talking with your partner, and you feel like you disturb him whenever you talk, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t miss you.
Sometimes, he may cut the conversation short while you’re talking and explain that he needs to do something and will call you again. However, if he doesn’t call back, then you have your answer.
13. Your conversations are boring
When your partner misses you, you can feel how excited he is even though you’re just talking on the phone. If he doesn’t miss you, he won’t feel excited to hear your voice. You might notice him making the conversation purposely dull so that you’ll end the call.
If you see his social media accounts showing posts of his happy moments without you, this likely means he’s having a great time without you. It doesn’t mean you should always be there when he’s having fun.
He probably doesn’t miss you if he’s not trying to reach out to you in his happy moments.
15. He never says he misses you
He’ll express it when he misses your presence. But he won’t if he doesn’t feel it. It’s as simple as that.
If you have observed over time that he does not say that he misses you, you may safely assume that he is not missing you. It tells you there may be a lack of positive attachment between you and your partner.
5 reasons why he may not miss you at all
If your partner is not missing you, there is usually a reason behind it. The reason could be his feelings towards you, the relationship or a change in his assessment of what is important to him.
Are you wondering why he doesn’t miss you at all? One of these might be the reason:
1. He’s seeing someone new
Seeing his social media accounts, you might see one of the signs he doesn’t miss you and that he might have a new partner. After a relationship ends, some men don’t like to deal with their feelings. That’s why they move and find a new partner after a breakup.
Rather than thinking about how much he misses you, he would focus his attention and energy more on a new person.
If you’re asking yourself, Why doesn’t he miss me after the breakup? One possible reason is cheating. Your relationship might have been rough, but it’s not a good reason to cheat.
One of the worst things that can happen in a relationship is cheating. Research shows that there is a high likelihood of subsequent infidelity if one has cheated in the past. Therefore, it may lead to doubts and mistrust in your relationship.
People might feel more insecure when they’ve been cheated on because they think they weren’t good enough in many aspects. They don’t want to be with someone who makes them feel this way, which is why they don’t miss their exes.
Were you the controlling one who got very angry when things didn’t go your way during your relationship? The relationship might be abusive for him when you offend or insult him. He might’ve tried to tolerate your actions, so he hid what he truly felt when you were together.
After your relationship ends, he can live more freely and doesn’t need to worry about getting criticized. Put simply: he likely doesn’t miss you because his life’s better without you.
4. He wasn’t serious in your relationship
He might not miss you if you didn’t meet his friends, family, or colleagues, put much effort into your relationship, or go on a vacation together.
Some people are usually more emotional than men. When you started having feelings for your man, he was possibly not ready to level up your relationship. Since things are over now, he doesn’t long for you.
5. He has peace of mind
No one wants to go through a breakup. This kind of conversation is difficult for many. So, your ex might have avoided this.
When you possibly decided to initiate the breakup, he may feel happy since he didn’t have to do it. After discussing it with him, you wonder, “Why doesn’t my ex miss me?” That’s because he feels relieved that the relationship is over and moves on happily with his life.
What to do when you notice signs he doesn’t miss you?
It can be disheartening and confusing if you are emotionally invested in someone and they don’t miss you. However, this might be the moment for you to make some changes.
When you notice signs that he doesn’t miss you, you can try to take the following steps to address the situation:
1. Control your emotions
You should know the right timing when you express your feelings. It would be best if you took control and not become attached to him when you feel he doesn’t miss you. This is truer after a breakup.
You should stop asking yourself, Why doesn’t my ex miss me? If he doesn’t respond to your gestures, it’s best to give the relationship a rest.
After you notice signs he doesn’t miss you, you should examine him closely for a few days. You’ll see if he is interested and serious with you when you become more observant of his actions. Unless he tells you he misses you, you shouldn’t tell him that you feel the same way.
3. Be calm
You shouldn’t feel too anxious trying to answer the question, Why doesn’t he miss me? There are many likely reasons why he didn’t say he missed you back. You can’t completely figure out what your partner is thinking, so don’t react too fast.
4. Determine what you want
As mentioned, there are many possible reasons he doesn’t miss you. So, it’s crucial to figure out what you want and decide what happens next.
Your happiness should be your priority. It doesn’t matter if you let go, move on, or hold on to your man. You have to do what you think is best for yourself.
5. Ask him
It’s natural to feel frustrated when you miss your partner and tell yourself, “He doesn’t miss me.” In this case, asking him what he truly feels can be better. You can give him time after asking him if he misses you.
You have to prepare yourself for his response. You need to make sure that you’re ready emotionally for his answer. Communication in any relationship is essential. If asking him will make you feel better, then do it.
Finally, you understand the signs he doesn’t miss you. You can see changes in his behavior, actions, and body language if he doesn’t miss you. It’s best to accept things and move on rather than to keep asking yourself, “Why doesn’t he miss me?”
You’ll feel pain, but this will help you have the freedom you deserve. That’s why it’s recommended to attend counseling to help you get through this difficulty.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.