When two people bring their lives together to form a relationship combining what were once individual lifestyles, including personal habits, there are bound to be moments of annoyance even in a healthy coupling. That’s simply because each is unique.
How you deal with your partner’s annoying habitswill determine the future health of the union. The conversation needs to be delicate, so they don’t feel defensive, nor is your tone accusatory with your communication.
Anger is unnecessary in this situation. It’s merely a point where you’re trying to develop a medium of compromise. Is that possible? Let’s find out.
Is it normal for your partner to annoy you?
If you’re battling with yourself over how to deal with an annoying partner, it’s vital to understand, having differences, quirks, and flaws makes us unique.
But when you bring these differences together to form a relationship, you’ll find annoying behaviors with eachpartner. So, one might feel there are annoying things boyfriends do, while the other believes there are annoying things girlfriends do.
Communication is key, but not once the issue becomes a problem. The idea is to be constructive at the moment. If there’s something that your mate does differently from what you’re used to, make a suggestion (not a demand) followed by an appreciative comment and a loving gesture to seal the appreciation.
For instance, if your partner throws their towel on the floor after a shower, make sure they know the level of appreciation you have for the effort they make in other areas around the house following a hectic day.
But if you could make a suggestion to avoid things piling up for the two of you – hanging the towel on the hook would be helpful.
Follow this with thanks and either a hug or words of love. If you feel you have to walk on eggshells or are intimidated to say something like this, you might want to rethink the partnership.
What typical categories make a person annoying?
Everyone has pet peeves or annoyances that test their limits, but is it enough to cause the end of a partnership?
We all have a different approach to life. Right? Perhaps, you can relay your irritation to a receptive partner and reach a compromise. Let’s look at some of the top things on the list of annoying habits.
Leave the toilet seat up.
Drink from cartons or jugs and put them back in the fridge open.
Leaves hair from either shaving or doing quick trims over the bathroom sink or on the floor.
Is invariably at least ten minutes late to everything with no excuse or apology.
Clothes come off and lie on the floor until laundry day instead of hitting the hamper.
Forgets to do chores.
Dishes (with food unscraped) sit on the table or counter instead of rinsing in the sink/loading in the dishwasher.
Empty food containers go back in the cupboards instead of disposing of in the trash bin.
Chewing loudly or talking with food in their mouth.
Clipping nails in an inappropriate room of the house, especially while in bed.
Dictating how everything needs to be done around the house
Nitpicking about a partner’s dressing style
Always trying to be the one to choose where to go, which movie to watch, what to eat, and more.
15 Methods for coping with annoying things partners do
When a partner’s annoying habits are getting out of control, and you’re not sure how to tell someone they are annoying, or sure if you can deal with an annoying relationship, it’s essential to remember that not everything you do is pleasing in their eyes either.
There will be things you do that your mate finds to be inconsiderate behavior in a relationship. While none of us believe we could ever do anything that would appall our other half, we do. None of us are perfect, and we genuinely shouldn’t strive to be.
What should happen is finding a way to deal with the annoying things couples do so each person can be happy without actually changing the other person from being the individual with whom we fell in love.
Some things to try in an effort to figure out how to get someone to stop annoying you –
1. Determine who’s the actual annoyance
Many times the one annoyed can actually be creating the annoyance. In fact, you might be putting pressure you’re feeling from unrelated stress onto your partner, like maybe too much of a load at work.
That irritation can bring you to a breaking point, causing you to lash out at the wrong person.
With that mindset, it doesn’t matter what the behavior is; it can lead to anger or aggression, ultimately leading to your mate acting out to retaliate.
It’s a good reason for the two of you to have a heart-to-heart so both of you can vent frustrations; yours concerning work and your partner’s regarding receiving the effects.
2. Communicate about the issues
If a partner’s annoying habits are growing out of control, you’ve waited too long to discuss the problem. It’s better to communicate the moment something occurs that’s out of the norm for you.
By doing so, the two of you can work out a compromise that works well for each of you.
3. Look at the situation from your mate’s point of view
Your way is not necessarily the best. There’s not only one person in the partnership. Simply because you have your specific lifestyle doesn’t mean that’s ideal.
There could be a genuine reason for the behavior that you find annoying. For instance, if your mate chews loudly or with his mouth open, perhaps it’s medically related, but they never shared that part of themselves.
4. Make sure to have a conversation when your mate is receptive
No one wants to have a “critical” discussion, constructive or otherwise when they’re in a foul mood. Timing is essential in working together to develop a plan of compromise.
Otherwise, defensiveness and confrontation will come into the discussion, and ultimately an argument will ensue. From that point, any time you bring up the subject, it will be a sore spot.
5. Avoid tactics like the silent treatment
Positivity is essential in any relationship when you’re attempting to resolve situations that are not working well for the two of you.
When using what one would presume as a form of “punishment” for behavior the other person views favorably, because you haven’t taken the time to help them understand there’s a problem, you’re creating confusion and producing a toxic and hurtful setting.
When you focus on a partner’s annoying habits, the images start to take over how you feel about them. You’ll be unable to see them in any other light. The idea is to look for the good in your mate and focus your energy on those points.
Regardless of how annoying the bad habits are, of course, the positive attributes far outweigh these, or you wouldn’t have been able to fall in love with this person. Once your partner recognizes your appreciation, there will be an honest effort to correct some annoyances.
7. Suggest lovingly without scolding harshly
Lashing out with a furious tone can only result in a crushed ego and harm to a spirit. When someone feels attacked, the person will come back where an argument will develop.
That can then escalate, usually into a full-blown unhealthy fight, leading to resentment and the potential for you to cause your spouse to feel a lowered sense of self-confidence.
Instead, you might try making suggestions in a voice of respect. It’s very possible to send a message without the need to be rude or undermine masculinity.
8. Preoccupy yourself for a while
If you’ve had the conversation and it’s taking time for your partner to get the idea, make yourself busy to keep your mind off your partner’s annoying habits. The plan is to give your mate time to develop a new habit.
You can see that they are trying. It might be happening slower than you had hoped, but now it’s a matter of you developing patience until it takes. Find some hobbies, exercise, or a way to relax your mind.
9. Become acclimated to the behavior
You might need to develop a tolerance for some of the behavior. If you see a few of your partner’s annoying habits coming to an end, the other things that seem to be more difficult might need your acceptance.
Not everything about the people we love will change, and honestly, you don’t want to change who they are; merely modify a few chores.
10. Speak to your partner’s close friend
If you find a partner’s annoying habits out of control and you’re having little luck in making suggestions on doing things a bit differently, it might be time to speak with one of their close personal friends to see if there might be someone close to them who could possibly influence their behavior.
This can be risky because many people aren’t thrilled about involving other people, especially their own friends, in their relationship. If you believe your partner might find that invasive, don’t do it.
However, if a third party is close to that person and won’t affect your relationship, see if it will improve the annoyances if this friend takes a moment to offer their opinion to your mate.
11. Speak with your close friends
Sometimes it can be helpful to speak with your own friends to learn what kind of things annoy them about their partners. What they’re dealing with might be extreme in comparison.
You could come to realize you have relatively simple issues that, in time, will work themselves out. These are confidences that you don’t need to share with your partner; merely close friends sharing relationship advice.
12. Lead by example
When two people come into the same household, different lifestyles are blending into one. There will undoubtedly be annoyances as each person will want things done their way and who’s to say which is correct.
Over time things will fall into a rhythm. Whether it becomes your method or that of your partner doesn’t matter as long as everyone does it the same way. Repetition is key. If you lead by example, ultimately, your mate will pick up your habit.
13. Try it their way
Your partner’s annoying habits might send you right out of your skin. One relatively profound way to let them know when they’re not listening to suggestions is to show them.
Offer them a taste of their medicine, so to speak. If your mate is leaving dirty clothes all over the floor, do it too. Once the house becomes a mess, someone will need to pick it up; only make sure you can stand it until they do.
14. Is the behavior that much of an aggravation?
Is the behavior that much of an aggravation, worth this much time and thought? If it’s consuming you to the point that you’re searching for answers regularly, it might be time to consider the relationship’s health.
15. Seek out professional counseling
If your partner’s annoying habits get to where they negatively affect your partnership, it’s time to get a professional mediatorship if the two of you want to continue as mates.
Seeing the problems from an expert view will help you realize either the frivolity or the seriousness and guide the two of you to work on the annoyances from that standpoint or perhaps go in separate directions.
No one wants to completely change someone with whom they develop a relationship or possibly marry. A commitment assumes acceptance for the good and not so good . . . or annoying.
Sometimes you don’t find those things out until you combine your lifestyles into one household. That will be the moment when you learn the strength of your commitment. It will either be an “uh-oh” moment or ease into compromise; most people “uh-oh” through at least the first year. Let’s be honest.
Want to figure out what your partner’s annoying habits are? Watch this video.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.