Are you having a crush on someone who is in a relationship? It could be inconvenient because it would most likely be one-sided. You might want your crush to leave their partner for you, but it rarely happens.
The idea of loving someone and not receiving the same dose could be discouraging. And for some people, they spend most of their life hoping for their crush to come knocking at their door.
If you have a crush on someone in a relationship, you need to help yourself. First off, you have to clearly define your feelings and ask yourself some vital questions to determine if your feelings are worth it or not.
How does it feel when you like someone who is in a relationship?
It’s not a crime to like someone in a relationship with another person.
There are some ways you will feel if you like a girl who has a boyfriend or like a boy who has a girlfriend and it is normal.
When you have a crush on someone, they are in the center of your thoughts. This reinforces your desire to always be around them.
As you think about your crush, your mind also drifts to their present partner, who makes you less happy.
As perceived by many people, jealousy is not a bad emotion. Instead, it is natural. It is normal for you to feel jealous if you have a crush on someone in a relationship. You will crave their attention, love, and care, but they only remain as fantasies.
You feel giddy anytime you see or think of your crush.
You can spend the whole day thinking about them, and this is enough to activate dopamine release.
One of the challenging experiences you can face is dealing with a crush in a relationship with someone else. Most times, you will berate yourself for liking someone who has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and other times, you won’t care at all.
The truth remains it is not bad to crush on someone in a relationship. However, it must be done with wisdom. It is nonsensical behavior if you try forcing your crush to leave their relationship and run into your hands.
You must let nature take its full course instead of taking matters into your hands.
If you are wondering what to do if your crush has a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can tell them your intentions without forcing it on them. If there is a place for you in their lives, you will be informed.
10 things to do if you crush on someone in a relationship
Most times, we don’t choose who we fall in love with. If you are having a crush on someone who is in a relationship, it is more painful because we feel we could have them for ourselves.
Are you thinking of how to stop having a crush on someone?
Perhaps, you are wondering what to do if your crush has a partner.
Here are some pieces of advice to help you tread this complicated path:
1. Know exactly how you got to this stage
You need to brood on how you got to this stage. Ask yourself what you identified in the person that stirred up those feelings. You have to be sure of what inspired those feelings so that you can salvage your emotional health.
It’s also vital to know if it is worth having feelings or stop crushing on someone.
2. Be sure about your personal goals
Before your crush came into the picture, have you penned down your relationship goals? It is normal to have a crush but do they fit into your personal goals? If you feel they don’t, there is no need to keep crushing on them.
You have to put yourself first and ensure you are okay before considering anyone. Hence, be clear about your goals in life before deciding if your crush is worth it.
3. Be realistic
The normal thing to do when you have a crush on someone is to study them a bit. They might have some behaviors you are not comfortable with. But because you have a crush on them, you overlook them.
At this point, you have to be sure if you can cope with them if you become partners.
Everyone has red flags; therefore, you need to pick your preferred poison.
4. Remember Karma
Ask yourself this question “what would I do if my crush is dating someone?”
The answer determines if you will keep thinking your crush would probably accept your demands. You have to remember that Karma is real, and you will not be comfortable with it if your partner likes someone else.
It would be a good idea to abort the mission since you know what goes around comes around.
5. Learn to settle for the best
You need to be selfish with yourself sometimes. One thing that should keep you going is, you deserve the best and nothing less. The truth is you cannot be happy sharing your crush with someone else.
Settling for the best means having someone you love for yourself. If you keep on hoping your crush will leave their partner and settle for you, it might never happen. It is best to move on and find someone who is single.
Not everyone ends up with their crush, especially if they are taken by someone else. This results in a series of painful emotional moments because you have nursed those feelings for a long time. To avoid this, get over the person and move on with your life.
Once you are sure that you can’t end up with your crush, forget about them or remain friends with them.
7. Discuss with them
If you arecrushing on someone in a relationship, you can discuss with them. Your crush might appreciate your sincerity and decide to remain good friends with you. If they don’t take it the right way, don’t beat yourself over it. Move on!
8. Do not obsess over your crush
Having a crush is harmless, but it becomes unhealthy when you are obsessed with them. Don’t let the pain of being unable to have them be your focus in life. It is normal to like them, but you will be on the losing end if you are obsessed with them.
To avoid being obsessed, focus on other activities that make you happy and create pleasant memories for yourself.
Some people make the mistake of stalking their crush online and in reality. This is very wrong because you are not respecting their privacy. If your crush realizes you are stalking them, they could develop ill feelings towards you, which worsens the case.
It is fine to be friends with them on social media, but don’t be all over their posts. If you can’t handle it, then unfollow them so that you will see less of their social media presence. The same applies in reality; try not to be around them every time.
10. Know that a crush is a temporary feeling
A crush should not last for a long time.
So, assure yourself that you would soon get over it. No matter how it hurts, know that your feelings cannot last forever.
Unrequited love can be so painful, especially if your crush is in a relationship and you cannot give them a good reason to leave. Perhaps, it’s time for you to let go, but you don’t know when to.
Here are three signs that tell you when to give up on a crush.
They don’t know you exist
If your crush is barely unaware of your existence, you have been deceiving yourself.
No matter how hard you try to seek their attention, it would be futile. This is a solid sign that they don’t know your presence exists, and you’ve only been fantasizing. It would be hard to accept, but you have to move on.
They give unrequited attention
If you and your crush know each other and they don’t pay attention to you, it is time to give up. Your crush is most likely creating time for their partner and other important people in their lives. It is likely they don’t even know that you crave their attention.
Since you have no right to demand their full attention, forget about them.
They don’t appreciate you
You might have done some things for your crush in the past, but they didn’t return the favor.
Eventually, it all boils down to being sincere with yourself. If you are having a crush on someone who is in a relationship and you know it will not materialize into anything, it is best to quell those feelings.
On the other hand, if you are good friends with your crush and you feel there is a chance for you, you can hang around for a while.
You need to be sure you are making the right decisions because, despite your feelings for anyone, you have to put yourself first.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.