In order to ensure that you address fear within your relationship at early onset, you should look for the following signs of fears and insecurities.
First, are your behaviors more obsessive and out of the norm regarding how you typically respond to worry?
Additionally, do you find it hard to stay focused on tasks and remain in the present moment?
Furthermore, has your mood changed to where you are not feeling like yourself?
Finally, if your thoughts become consistent and you are having trouble controlling them, you want to notify your spouse and seek additional support to help reduce fear.
4 Ways to address fear
If you are experiencing fear, the following are given some of the effective ways to address fear in relationships.
Read on for overcoming fear in relationships effectively:
Firstly, the individual experiencing fear should identify where the fear is coming from.
Then they need to work to understand if the fear that they are experiencing within their relationship comes from something from the past or something that is currently going on in their life.
Once the individual better understands the root of their fear, they need to communicate further what they learned with their partner. Without communication, fear can not be addressed properly.
At times, using writing as a tool to communicate can help shift the focus, making it easier to acknowledge and further release what has created the fear. It is essential to properly identify the root of where the fear in the relationship has come from.
How to support your partner when they experience fear in the relationship?
When your partner approaches you regarding fear in the relationship, it is always important to be patient and listen.
While you’re listening, work to understand what your partner is experiencing and work to better understand where their fear in the relationship is coming from.
Actively listening to your partner’s concerns not only helps in solving the problems but also helps in improving relationship satisfaction.
It is important to eliminate your defensiveness so that you can be fully present and aware of what is contributing to your partner’s feelings of fear.
Understanding what is contributing to the fear allows you to understand what needs to be focused on to alleviate the feelings of fear in relationships.
After understanding what is driving out the fearful feelings, work with your partner to reduce thethreat. This can be done by first testing your partner’s fears.
This can be done by exposing the fear and working through the fearful concept together. Rationalizing the thoughts associated with fear in relationships will help your partner de-sensitize the emotion and alleviate thoughts trapping them in the past.
Next, you can work with your partner to combat negative thoughts. Focus on thoughts that prove that there is no threat and thoughts that help them stay present-focused.
Another way to support your spouse with their feelings of fear in relationships is helping them to desensitize themself to the fearful stimuli.
This can be done by creating a reinforcement schedule where you and your partner will consistently expose yourself to the fearful topic or situation for an extended period of time. One example of this would be a scheduled discussion time where this information can be exposed.
When addressing fear within the relationship, other helpful tools are engaging in activities that help keep a mindful focus. Staying in the moment helps to alleviate thoughts from the past, which will further reduce and eliminate the threat that is creating the fear.
Focusing on the breath and how the breath enters and exits your body. Also, you can focus on using your senses to help you stay in the moment.
Lastly, work with your partner on reducing fear by further increasing the level of emotional support that is being provided.
This can be done by scheduling one on one time to listen and communicate. This can also be done by engaging in one on one activities without any environmental distractions.
Furthermore, you can work to build emotional support with your partner by providing physical touch and reassurance to help them deal with fear in relationships.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Samantha Pastier is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania. Samantha works with couples and families on addressing issues related to adjustments, family conflict, parenting issues, communication issues, infidelity, and enhancing emotional support within the marriage. While addressing systemic issues Samantha’s approach blends a combination of evidenced based practices that have a holistic nature, where we focus on how your actions, thoughts, feelings, and your body's physiology all work together to create positive change. Samantha will also work to assist couples with identifying the root cause of the shift within the marriage and then enhance the couple's ability to problem solve, communicate, and compromise with one another to help re-allign both partners. Samantha’s treatment approach will also work to create enhancements in intimacy, respect, and affection. Samantha will also help the couples remove barriers to the emotional connection and work to re-create a sense of empathy and understanding that has been lost throughout the couples current season of life.
(Samantha Pastier is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Allentown)