Long distance relationships are becoming more and more common these days. Dating someone from a foreign country can present you with quite a few problems but there is always a way to work things out if you think she’s worth your time.
A foreign girl might seem exotic and unusual in your country but you need to keep in mind that there will be a few barriers between the two of you which can potentially hinder your relationship.
If you’re not experienced in this field of dating, you might be in need of some help in order to keep up with this situation. Here are some of the best tips to help you make it through the distance and the long waits.
Why dating a foreigner can be a little tricky
While meeting someone from a different country can be fun and exciting, there are quite a few things which can go wrong. In the early stages of a relationship, things can be interesting and full of new things to explore, but for most couples, a few months can take a toll on the relationship.
Here are some of the most common problems you will come across when dating a foreign girl.
1. Not speaking the same language
The biggest issue of them all is the language barrier. While both of you might speak English, you need to remember that it will be very hard for both of you to express yourselves in the same way you would in your native tongue. Yes, her accent might be sexy and adorable, but you might not be able to talk about more pressing matters in the long run.
No matter how good your English skills are, each language around the world has its own different expressions and phrases which cannot easily be translated and can lead to miscommunication.
Additionally, while at first everything might seem easy enough, you might come across problems when things start getting more serious. This is a topic that’s always important to every woman and you should know that it is also a step which can put a lot of pressure on most couples from different countries.
2. Not being able to see each other often
A great struggle of dating a foreign girl is not being able to see her enough.
There will be times when you wish you had someone to sleep next to or simply spend time with.
Seeing each other will usually happen over holidays and you will most likely be surrounded by family from either side and that can be a problem as you two will need some alone time.
Whether you are college students or you are both employed, you will come to see that making time to travel to see each other will be tough, not only time wise but also budget wise. For example, if you live in the US and your significant other lives in Europe, tickets are expensive and flights last long, and it will take you a few months of planning in order to spend a couple weeks together.
3. Communicating with her family
While most young people around the world speak English nowadays, the same doesn’t necessarily apply for older generations. One of the very first things my intercultural relationship taught me is that while communicating with your girl will most likely be no problem, her parents will most likely not be able to talk to you as you will probably not speak any common language.
You might be perfectly able to understand your woman, but coming in contact with her parents will be a whole different story.
Not being able to talk to them properly will surely become a problem if your significant other doesn’t try translating everything for you while you’re visiting. Any girl’s parents will definitely want to know who you are, where you come from and why you’re dating their daughter; that just comes with dating a woman.
You will truly have quite an interesting time talking to them about yourself if you don’t speak the same language.
Making it work no matter the struggles
Even if you two live far from one another, at the end of the day this will be just like any other relationship as it requires the same level of commitment and communication. When you’re dating someone, there are always a few things you can do in order to make your relationship work a little easier.
1. Be in contact whenever possible
One of the most important factors in making a long distance relationship work is making time for one another. Texting each other will most likely be your basic form of communication during the day and since you won’t be able to meet each other often, it will play an important part in your relationship as this will help you get to know each other better.
Throughout the day, it is a good idea to send each other snippets of your daily lives.
Videos and pictures can give your girlfriend a good idea of your everyday life and she will feel included in whatever you are doing.
Making her feel important will make her happy.
On top of that, you should make your girl feel special by organizing frequent Skype dates where you can talk, have dinner together and simply get to know each other better. This is essential if you wish to make your relationship last and the more effort you put into it while you’re away from each other, the more comfortable and happy you will be when you’re together.
2. Learn each other’s language
The best way to remove the language barrier between the two of you and each other’s families is to learn each other’s language. English will probably always be the language you will use the most in the relationship but learning each other’s languages will help you show that you are serious about being together. Now this will probably be difficult to arrange and it will need some money and time from your side but it’s a small price you’ll have to pay.
This will not only make her happy, but your girl will know you are serious about being with her and her family will also appreciate being able to talk to you more. While this might take some time to master, you should not shy away from practising whenever you go to visit her. Ask her to teach you some basic words and help you keep practising and you can do the same for her.
3. Respect each other’s cultures
One of the things that will also help your relationship last is how respectful you are of one another as well as your cultures and traditions. Sure, dating can be fun and by being with a foreigner you will be able to learn a lot more about their country and traditions and that will be something new and fun.
You need to keep in mind though, especially if you’re serious about being with this girl, that you will no longer be simply a visitor to her country.
When you’re there visiting her, you will have to be careful about how you act around her family and the people she cares about.
While something as simple as holding hands might be acceptable back where you come from, it could come off as very offensive where she lives. You might also not be willing to try a local dish that is important in their family’s tradition.
People from different cultures can have different traditions which might be new and even uncomfortable to you so you will have to be prepared in case you find yourself in a new situation as you will still need to be respectful.
4. Talk about your plans
After being together for a while, you will want to start talking about how you see the two of you progress in the future as a couple. Making plans don’t have to include marriage and moving in together; if you have only been dating for a while, you can simply start out by planning a trip abroad or visiting each other’s families.
When you go through the basic things and see that you work together well as a team, you can start talking about your future life together.
While it’s never easy to implement every dream that goes into a long-distance relationship, you will still have to have something to look forward to. Your girl especially will truly enjoy knowing that you take your time together seriously.
Even if the distance is hard on the two of you, having some mutual goals and future plans will help you keep going and will remind you of why you two are together when times get rough. Just remember to not rush into it and to take everything one step at a time.
5. Be patient
Dating someone from a different country will require a lot of patience for many reasons. Apart from having to wait a while until you can see them again, you will have to be patient with how they process the differences between your traditions, your cultures, your languages and even your families.
While your family might be fully supportive of your relationship, her family might be suspicious and not really accepting from the beginning.
The only thing you can do here is giving everyone time to adapt to the new situation and understand your motives and the importance of your relationship.
Over time, everyone will come to accept the two of you being together and you will be able to have a better understanding of your differences as well as the things that you have in common. Patience is key to making such a relationship work and you will have to have plenty of it if you’re serious about being with this woman.
The good news is that, compared to 50 years ago, 17% of married couples are interracial. Traveling has become a lot more accessible for everyone, and meeting people from all kinds of backgrounds gives these relationships the opportunity to thrive. Patience will help you go through the struggles and know that the day will come when you have your girl by your side for good.
6. Show her your love at every chance you get
Many people might tell you that long-distance relationships lack the affectionate side regular relationships have and that you will never be able to have some special and spontaneous moments with your loved one. In reality, these kinds of relationships can be a lot more fun and you will be able to have some truly memorable moments together.
What you should always keep in mind is that these relationships require effort in order to work. You should always show your girl your love in various ways and the fun thing about distance is that you will have to learn how to improvise.
For example, if you know her address, you can order some small presents for her whenever your anniversary comes up. A simple Google search for gift ideas can truly become your best friend.
You can even talk to some close family members of hers and arrange a small surprise for her by visiting her earlier than what she thought you had planned.
Showing you care about her will bond the two of you and bring you closer.
It is essentially what will keep the two of you together through all the times when you just wish you could meet even for a while.
Making your relationship worth the effort
While this type of relationship might be more demanding than a normal relationship, you should not let anything stand between you and the woman you love. You mutual feelings for each other should be the only thing guiding you and you shouldn’t let anyone make you think otherwise.
Making it work will require effort from both sides but at the end of the day, it will be very rewarding and calming knowing that despite the difficulties, you made it work. Just remember to embrace your differences and put enough effort into making your families accept your choice and everything will work out just fine.