5 Tips for Successful Cross-Cultural Marriages

Marriage is something to which people look forward to. Some are fortunate to remain married lifelong to a single partner, while a few couples separate or divorce for various reasons. The ancient proverb states: “Marriages are made in heaven.” No comments on this axiom.

However, laws, rules, regulations, religions, and cultures are made by humans. Yet these elements can often play a decisive role in the success or failure of a marriage, more so if you are someone considering cross-cultural marriages. 

Matrimony with a partner from an alien culture can be exciting but could also become a harrowing experience. To prevent marital nightmares, knowing what a cross-cultural marriage entails is imperative.

Definition of cross-cultural marriages

What is cross-cultural marriage?

Cross-cultural marriage, as the name suggests, is a marriage between people from different cultures. These people may or may not come from different countries altogether. However, the language, food, culture, and values with which they have been brought up can be very varied.

These differences can be minor or difficult to adjust to, based on the belief systems the two people have grown up and lived with.

Significance of cross-cultural marriages

Cross-cultural marriages can be unusual for some people. However, they have some significance regarding relationships and the world.

1. They give unconditional love a chance to flourish
2. They help to open up more avenues for the new couple
3. They help us have a more world-view of things
4. It helps you and your family experience a new culture and know more about them and the world in general
5. It helps you adapt to new and better ways of living. You can always learn the good things from another culture

5 benefits of cross-cultural marriages

Cross-cultural marriage benefits make them a very appealing deal for people. Here are five benefits of cross-cultural marriages.

1. Learn new traditions

Traditions are a very important part of any culture, and every culture has a different bunch of them. If you are someone with an open mind and enjoy learning new traditions, a cross-cultural marriage may be very beneficial for you. 

You will find out that in your partner’s culture, things are done much differently than in your own. These things can be fascinating to you and your family.

2. Taste new food

With a cross-cultural marriage comes cross-cultural food. 

If you love food and love trying out new cuisines and flavors, a cross-cultural marriage will benefit you. Some people end up falling in love with the food of their partner’s culture to the point that they make it their staple meal.

3. Learn a different language

Another benefit of a cross-cultural marriage is that you get to experience and learn a new language. Languages can help people bond. 

While learning a new language after you have grown up can be difficult, it has its charm. Overhearing conversations around the house when your partner’s family is talking, or even taking classes from your spouse, is a good idea to learn a new language first-hand.

Related Reading: 10 Things to Do When a Couple Has Different Love Languages®

4. Share your own culture

Another benefit of a cross-culture marriage is that you can share your culture with your partner and their family and friends.

You get to tell more people about the wonderful things that are part of your culture and give them first-hand experience of the food, language, and traditions you follow.

5. You get to travel

If your partner is from a different country, you can travel more and to various places in a cross-cultural marriage. 

You might visit places you never considered visiting and experience their food, language, traditions, and nature. 

Related Reading: 8 Reasons Why Couples Who Travel Together Stay Together

5 challenges of cross-cultural marriages

Cross-cultural marriages sound so fun and interesting, but they might come with their own set of challenges. Some of these include –

1. Coping with religious differences

One of the first cross-cultural marriage problems is coping with religious differences. Mostly, in cross-cultural marriages, both partners might come from different religions. 

This can be challenging because coping with your partner’s religion and religious beliefs can be difficult. You might not be able to understand or comprehend some traditions or values, or it might just take your time to adjust to them.

Related Reading: Religious Conflicts in Families: The Etymology and How to Solve Them?

2. Loss of identity

For some people, one challenge of a cross-cultural marriage is the loss of identity. While you try to adapt to various aspects of your partner’s culture, it can be a task to balance them and not lose yourself to them to the point where you do not follow any traditions that you grew up with.

3. Small disagreements

Cultural differences in marriages can be a challenge.

Some cultures or religions may prohibit drinking and smoking or have some dietary restrictions. While you may try to adapt to your partner’s lifestyle based on their culture, it can sometimes lead to small disagreements on these issues, which can be a challenge in a relationship.

4. Unsupportive families

Sometimes, families might not support your decision to marry outside your culture. Getting married to the person you love without the support or love of your family may be a big challenge in a cross-cultural marriage.

5. Chore distribution

Some cultures have pretty set and strict gender roles. If you or your partner do not align on those, chore distribution can be challenging in a cross-cultural marriage.

Related Reading: 15 Ways to Get Your Husband to Help More with the Chores

5 tips for successful cross-cultural marriages

If you and your partner come from different cultures, here are some tips to help you have a happy and healthy marriage.

1. Attend a marriage preparation course

Various organizations provide marriage preparation courses, both online and offline. You might be able to find a marriage preparation course that pertains to your partner’s culture. 

It will help you understand what marriage with them will look like and give you a heads-up about what you are signing up for. The transition then can be easier.

2. Travel to their country

If your partner is from a different country or just a different part of the country, travel with them to their hometown. This helps to understand the language, culture, food, and more about the place and the people who live there.

It also helps you better understand the family, their values, and the expectations they might have from you when you marry your partner.

3. Be patient with your partner

It goes both ways. You have to adjust to each other’s cultures, which can be quite a process. Be patient and kind with your partner. Help them adjust to the little things in your culture. It is overwhelming for both of you, but you are in it together.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Create Alone Time When You Live With Your Partner

4. Make decisions about your children

Before you get married, or at least before you have kids, make a few decisions about your children. Which religion will they follow? What language will they speak or learn as their first?

These decisions can help avoid arguments or discord in the marriage and family later.

5. Learn about each other’s cultures

Having an open mind, and being willing to learn about each other’s cultures is a very important tip for a successful cross-cultural marriage. Without this, it might be difficult for you to adjust to each other’s traditions and values.

Related Reading: 10 things to Know During an Intercultural Marriage

To hear from people who have had cross-cultural relationships, watch this video.

Some commonly asked questions

Here are some frequently asked questions about cross-cultural marriages.

• Can cross-cultural marriages work?

Yes. There are many examples of cross-cultural marriages working, and in fact, of very happy and content married couples who come from different cultures. 

However, one cannot dismiss the challenges that come with cross-cultural marriages. However, having an open mind, respect, patience, and kindness for your partner can help make the marriage happy and healthy.

• Is it okay to marry someone from a different country?

Yes. While it is okay to marry someone from a different country, it is important to understand your views on the matter. As mentioned above, cross-cultural marriages can come with their own set of challenges. You have to be ready to deal with them.

At the same time, understanding where your friends and family stand on the matter is also crucial. 

The takeaway

Love conquers all. However, at the same time, it is also important to be real and understand that marriage is more than just love. Cross-cultural marriages can have their charm but also have their challenges. 

Understanding the exact situation and whether or not you will be able to cope with it is an important consideration to have before you decide to make the decision. If you need professional help, pre-marriage counseling is also a good idea.