How to Fix a Toxic Relationship: 15 Practical Ways

Maintaining a healthy relationship takes a lot of conscious commitment, awareness, care, communication skills, time, and effort. Even when you establish a highly functional relationship with your partner, there is a chance that your love will encounter challenges, including a once-happy relationship turning into a toxic relationship. 

You can never be sure that your relationship is invincible, as it will inevitably go through a few rough patches now and then.

There are no perfect matches or couples that are flawlessly connected—this is because we humans aren’t perfect and, therefore, do not have the capacity to create perfection in love.

The truth is that most of the best relationships go through very difficult times. These times serve as a chance for us to work out our deeply rooted childhood wounds.

What is a toxic relationship?

No one enters the relationship with a negative expectation. A relationship is meant to add something to your life rather than put you in a position of doubt and scarcity.

A toxic relationship is one in which one or both partners feel misunderstood, unheard, and disrespected. It is a kind of relationship that requires more than giving.

Are you experiencing a rough patch or a toxic relationship?

If there is friction, distress, abuse, and pain between you and your partner, the first thing you need to do is to determine if your relationship is going through a rough patch or if it is, at its core, a toxic relationship.

A toxic relationship usually drains your energy because they are highly abusive. They are based on codependency, neglect, and emotional manipulation.

There is typically a lack of compassion and understanding between partners. Major trust issues and the inability to create or maintain secure attachment can also be a part of such relations.

Can you heal a toxic relationship?

It’s a tough question, and the answer isn’t always simple… Sometimes, we hold onto hope that things will get better and that love can conquer all.

But can you fix a toxic relationship when the wounds run deep?

In some cases, yes—if both partners are willing to recognize the unhealthy patterns and truly work to change them. Trust, respect, and communication must be rebuilt from the ground up.

Still, it’s important to ask yourself: “Can toxic relationships be fixed, or is the damage too great?”

Healing is possible, but it takes effort, patience, and, above all, honesty with yourself.

How to fix a toxic relationship: 15 ways

Can toxic relationships be healed?

Well, they can be! Fixing a toxic relationship just requires some focused effort.

So, how to remove toxicity from relationships?

Here are the top 15 ways to heal your toxic relationship:

1. Recognize that toxic relationships are harmful

Toxic relationships can be destructive to both individuals involved. They can lead to feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment.

They can also be physically damaging. The negative impact of toxic relationships cannot be understated. Therefore, it’s important to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy and take steps to end it or consider how to fix a toxic relationship with your partner.

2. Be assertive

Assertiveness is a great communication skill that will support you in managing your struggling relationship and, at the same time, help you improve your connection with yourself.

The ability and decision to assert yourself are way healthier than engaging in passive-aggressive behavior, which usually causes a lot of damage between you and your partner. Eventually, the partnership spirals into a toxic relationship, so learning how to fix an unhealthy relationship through assertiveness is key.

Learn about it, practice it, share it with your spouse, and see what it brings to your love life.

3. Hold space for each other

Another toxic relationship advice is to ensure you maintain the connection with your partner even through times of friction and frustration.

When you isolate, ignore, and escape such circumstances, the gap between you grows, making reaching contentment and closeness difficult. This is especially important when figuring out how to fix a toxic long-distance relationship where emotional distance can grow.

4. Rise above emotional manipulation and mind games

Are you the one playing mind games in your relationship, or is it your partner?

No matter who is introducing these toxic manipulation attempts, in order to heal your toxic relationship, you will need to resist both initiating or participating in mind games or gaslighting in relationships.

5. Engage in crucial conversations

More love, more passion, and more intimacy are usually to be found on the other side of the truth. In order to restart your struggling love, you will need to start taking some emotional risks.

You can begin by engaging in a crucial conversation, bringing up the truths you have been withholding from your partner, and then staying in dialogue even when it is uncomfortable or scary. This is one of the key ways to fix a toxic relationship.

6. Get information, tools, advice, and/or professional support

Most people simply don’t know what to do. Our mainstream culture can be ignorant about what it takes to create a healthy, highly functioning relationship.

Fixing a toxic marriage or ending toxic relationships is no easy feat. Finding an answer to the question, “Can a toxic relationship be fixed?” is daunting.

So whether it is leaving a toxic relationship or finding the answer to “Can a toxic relationship be repaired?” or “How to fix a toxic relationship after breaking up,” professional support can equip you with tools on how to turn a toxic relationship healthy.

Marriage counseling or relationship advice from an unbiased, credible expert can help you recognize toxic relationship signs, fix unhealthy relationships by establishing some ground rules, and facilitate moving on from a toxic relationship.

Getting some information on how to heal a toxic relationship or involving a professional to support you would be a great step toward the couple’s recovery from the toxic marriage or transforming the toxic behavior of a partner.

7. Practice gratitude

We often take what we receive regularly for granted and don’t see the value and importance of what our partners bring to our lives.

Daily gratitude, like sharing three things we appreciate about our partner before going to sleep, can help switch attention from negative to positive and heal our relationship.

It is also important to recognize that what we dislike in our partner is likely something we dislike in ourselves, so we try to control, manipulate, avoid, ignore, or blame others instead of doing the necessary “inner work” on ourselves.

Not all toxic relationships are easy to heal, but more self-love and self-acceptance will indeed lead to breaking toxic relationship habits and more love in your current relationship riddled with temporary glitches.

8. Resist your urges to control your partner

When you are in a relationship that lacks trust and true intimacy, it is very easy to develop controlling behavior toward your partner.

Because of the fear involved, you might have the irresistible desire to ask a lot of questions about your partner or their friend’s whereabouts.

You might even want to influence important decisions your partner is about to make, or in general, you would try very hard to make them behave and think in a way you desire.

When you feel like controlling these urges, the best thing to do is resist them and ask yourself: What am I afraid of in this situation?

9. Set boundaries with the other person

It’s challenging to maintain a relationship that is unhealthy for both of you.

However, you can set boundaries that protect both your physical and emotional well-being. For example, you can give yourself a time limit for being in the other person’s presence or limiting your contact with them.

10. Seek help if necessary

If you are struggling in your toxic relationship, you may want to consider seeking outside assistance. There are many resources that can help you and your partner get a fresh start and improve your relationship.

In addition to couples’ therapy, you can also turn to family and friends for support. The bottom line is that you should never feel like you have to struggle on your own. Everyone deserves a healthy and loving relationship.

11. Acknowledge past mistakes without blame

One key way to fix a toxic relationship is to acknowledge the mistakes both of you have made. Owning up to those mistakes without placing blame on your partner allows for a more honest and open dialogue.

It helps shift the focus from finger-pointing to problem-solving, which is essential in fixing an unhealthy relationship.

12. Focus on rebuilding trust

Toxic relationships often involve broken trust. If you’re wondering how to fix a toxic relationship with your partner, focusing on trust-building exercises can be a crucial step.

Research highlight: Research explored trust, intimacy, and relationship satisfaction among young adults, finding a significant positive correlation between trust and both relationship satisfaction and intimacy. The research also reveals no significant gender differences regarding trust, intimacy, or relationship satisfaction.

This could involve transparency in communication, reliability, and consistency in your words and actions.

13. Cultivate empathy

A lack of empathy can make any relationship toxic. Learning to see things from your partner’s perspective, understanding their emotions, and validating their feelings can help bridge emotional gaps.

Empathy is a powerful tool when figuring out how to fix a toxic relationship or even how to fix a toxic long-distance relationship where misunderstandings often arise.

14. Take responsibility for your emotional well-being

A relationship becomes toxic when one or both partners rely on each other for their emotional stability. Taking responsibility for your own mental health and emotions is vital in fixing a toxic relationship.

By working on self-care and emotional regulation, you can approach conflicts from a healthier place.

15. Be patient with the healing process

Healing a toxic relationship doesn’t happen overnight. If you’re looking for ways to fix a toxic relationship, it’s important to understand that rebuilding trust, connection, and respect takes time.

Being patient with yourself and your partner as you work through these changes is a key part of the journey.

Can a toxic person change?

It’s a question that so many of us wrestle with… The truth is, yes, people can change—but it’s not always easy, and it takes time. For someone who has developed toxic patterns, it requires self-awareness, commitment, and a real desire to grow.

They have to recognize their behavior, own it, and take steps to do better. But even with that effort, change doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a journey, and sometimes, the results aren’t what we hope for.

So, while change is possible, it’s also important to remember that no one can force another person to change… They have to want it for themselves.

Watch this video to stop toxic patterns and start building a healthier relationship:

What if you really need to leave a toxic relationship?

Now, a word on how to get out of a toxic relationship with an abusive person if you feel extremely violated, gaslighted, and can not find more strength to extricate yourself from this vicious cycle of turmoil.

To get out of an unhealthy relationship that has depleted you and to move on, follow these tips on how to leave a toxic relationship.

• Step out of the denial that your partner is a work in progress, and you can fix them. Don’t end up draining yourself, spending time with them despite no connection and disappointment, giving way more to the relationship than you receive.
• Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who emotionally validate you and provide you with healthy support.
• Don’t forget and move on. Keep a log of all that the abusive partner did to torment you. Journal your feelings to get the much-needed perspective and reinforcement.
• Try gradual withdrawal of communication from your toxic partner.
• When you decide to leave, and if the abusive partner turns on the waterworks, don’t fall for it. Leave. No U-turns. No second chances. No guilt-trips.
• Build your positive core beliefs and life-altering affirmations. 
• Go easy on yourself; the juggernaut of withdrawing from an unhealthy relationship is daunting.

Takeaway

In the end, dealing with a toxic relationship is never simple… It takes patience, effort, and often some tough decisions. Whether you’re trying to heal the relationship or figuring out if it’s time to walk away, remember that your well-being matters, too.

Sometimes, the person you’re with may change; other times, they may not. And that’s okay… What’s important is that you’re taking steps to create a healthier, more fulfilling life, whether within the relationship or outside of it.

Healing and growth take time, so be kind to yourself along the way. You deserve a connection that lifts you up, not one that weighs you down.

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Owen Kessler Author

Owen Kessler is a talented writer with a knack for making complex topics easy to understand. He has a particular interest in psychology and personal growth, and his writing is known for its insightful commentary on these subjects.... Read more When he’s not writing, Owen enjoys spending time camping in the beautiful mountains and forests that surround his home. He also loves to travel and has a deep appreciation for the diversity of cultures he encounters on his journeys. Read less

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